Second Chances
by holly beans
Summary: Jenna was dying on Earth. So why was she opening her eyes to see the startled faces of people in masks? Jenna finds Pandora by a very unlikely route and has a chance to live her life again. Jake and OC's. Rated M for language, violence, and "adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

Thank you, everyone for all your encouragement about my writing! :) I hope you like this story. It is rated M very very good reasons! Some language, violence, and lemons, so fair warning.

***Plot notes**: Jake is Oloeyktan, Neytiri was Tsu'tey's mate before he was killed in the battle, she has relocated to another clan, Mo'at has remained with the Omaticaya. A sister ship of scientists arrived about six months after Jake's ship arrived on Pandora, much smaller crew. Story begins about two years after the battle with the RDA. Formatting has been fighting me...hopefully it looks alright!

**Chapter 1**

It was late. I walked down the dark street, heading back to my tiny apartment. For what reason, I barely knew anymore. It all seemed pointless. No one was waiting for me there. No one was waiting for me anywhere. No family, no friends that would miss me, no lovers to long for me. I shook the hair from my face, gazing up at the sky. Ah, the sky. Supposedly up there somewhere was the moon. I had liked the moon, before I moved to the city because it was what I could afford and lost any regular sight of the sky overhead. The cloud cover was less cloud these days, more pollution. It seemed it had always been that way, ever since I was young. But still, these days it seemed worse. The RDA assured us they were working on solutions. None ever seemed to come down to us mindless drones, though. No one heard us screaming our silent pleas into the night sky. Not a single voice escaped the thick cloud of smog over our heads, hemming in our hearts and killing us slowly, poisoning our lungs and our souls.

That's what I was doing, I decided. I was dying slowly. I had grown up hearing about Pandora, we all had; our salvation, the RDA called it. A wonderful new world that they would tear and slice and brings little bits of back home for the rich people to gobble up, letting the waste trickle down onto the rest of us. Of course, they didn't spin it that way. And I hadn't always thought of it that way, either. My cynicism was a new development, fed by unfortunate circumstances that left me here…walking home alone on a dark night from a seedy bar after doing seedy things to make a buck, so I could pay for my small apartment. So I had somewhere to sleep. So I could wake up and do it all again.

Years ago, I had had hopes and dreams. Now, I couldn't even remember what they had been. I only remembered that my life had not always been like this. I thought I had been happy, at some point. Maybe it was back in school, when all of us young kids had dreams of Pandora and the strange natives who thrived there without a single building in sight, it was said. The Na'vi, they were called…and with the name came the memory. I had looked into the Avatar Program, long ago. It had captivated me. I learned as much as I could about the program, about the aliens…the RDA never released much info, though, of course. There hadn't been much to discover. But I didn't have the schooling for the program, anyway…no way would I be going. Back in school, though, it didn't stop us from dreaming, from imagining the clear skies and the vast expanses of nothing but wilderness and danger, wondering if those mysterious aliens actually existed. But now…yes, Pandora was out there. I supposed those native aliens existed, but not for me. Not anymore.

I hung my head and continued my slow drudge home. It had been a rough night. I was tired and a little angry; the adrenaline tapping process was always pretty degrading, but it paid decent money. I heard the running footsteps coming up behind me but paid them no mind. Everyone was always running somewhere in this city…always running, but going nowhere. I kept walking and was taken completely off guard when the runner shoved me hard into the adjacent alley. I fell down and the guy, for it was a guy, just stood at the mouth of the alley, looking at me. I was more angry than scared at that point. The adrenaline tap had done me in. My mind was angry but my body had no fight in it. I scrambled back up to my feet, wearily shouting at the guy, too tired to do much else. He shoved me down again, further into the alley. He was high, or desperate to be. He demanded any money I had on me, but I carried nothing. It was stupid to carry any money that late at night. I had deposited it before even leaving the building. I told him. I showed him. Then I saw the knife. It glinted like an evil portent in the streetlight, and he advanced on me, stabbing into my stomach before I could even register the idea that I ought to respond somehow instead of just lie there on my back and get stabbed.

The guy ran. He just ran, throwing the knife against the alley wall where it clattered into the shadows. I stayed on my back, bleeding. Just bleeding. I felt a horrendous pain in my abdomen that I couldn't move away from. I would have screamed if I'd been able. I felt my body growing cold but also felt a curious warmth flowing around outside of me. It was wet. The realization came to me slowly…it was my own warm blood.

I fell asleep in a haze, in the alley, with no one to notice me gone. No one to miss me. No one would even know. My mind grew dark, my ears ceased hearing the world around me as my body shut down, the blood pooling around me in a final embrace. I dreamed of Pandora…I prayed for the pain to go away. Whatever would take my soul, I prayed for them to take me home.

**...**

**...  
**

I did not expect to open my eyes ever again. And yet…my eyelids flickered, and I saw light beyond them, a hazy, blurry vision of light and shapes. I blinked a few more times and recognized that I was breathing. Surely I shouldn't need to breathe anymore? And surely…surely there shouldn't be people around me in masks…? I tried to open my eyes a little wider, and tried to clear my throat. Such simple tasks were almost unbearably difficult as I lay there, wherever, in my haze. The people, for they were indeed people, I could see that much now, were gently patting my cheeks and shoulders. I started being able to discern a room around me, very clean and clinical…oh no, I was in the hospital, wasn't I? When I came out of this haze, I was going to be in pain, wasn't I? Or maybe they already had me drugged up, accounting for the haze. Still…they shouldn't be wearing masks, should they? I tried to move, and failed miserably. I couldn't quite hear what they were saying. Still, I didn't start to panic until their faces started looking worried. With the injuries I had sustained, it shouldn't be surprising that I was having difficulty moving, and yet…those faces looked surprised that I was still lying inert on my back. Something was severely amiss here. I closed my eyes to steel myself for another attempt. That's when I heard their voices clearly, still fuzzy, but I understood them at least.

"Anne? Annie?" Wait a minute…that wasn't my name. I opened my eyes again and tried to speak, but my voice still wasn't working. I saw them turn their heads toward another voice…too far away for me to hear. Someone talking to them. I could vaguely understand the two…well I thought they were doctors but I was seriously doubting that now…so the two people, anyway, standing over me at such close range, but the other sounds around me were just noise.

Suddenly, they glanced back down at me and looked a little stunned…a little scared. They knew I wasn't Annie. They backed away a little and started scaring me, too. I felt a rush of adrenaline through my body and twitched a little. Had I been out that long that my adrenals were working again? Slowly, I was coming to. The haze was lifting. Slowly. The two people glanced over their shoulder at someone else approaching…

Holy macaroni! There was a creature standing behind them, at least four or five feet taller than they were…and blue. With ears. Giant golden green eyes. Stripes. No. No way. The creature was Na'vi…I recognized it from the RDA reports. But…that was impossible. I just stared in complete and utter shock. Was I dreaming? Was this some sort of pre-death experience or something? Post-death experience?

The creature…no, the man…said something to the people, the humans in masks. It sounded like he said, something…something…where's Annie…something. Then he came over to me and held my hand in his while the two…technicians, I guess…went to find Annie, I assumed. Why they couldn't tell that I wasn't her before I opened my eyes was a mystery to me…until I managed to shift my eyes down to the giant blue hand holding my own…my own giant blue striped hand.

If the adrenaline hadn't been flowing before, it was practically seeping out my pores now. I jerked my arm against the man's strong grip, my head flopping around feebly as I tried to control whatever kind of body I had at the moment. I could move, at last, but I had no control whatsoever.

"Whoa, whoa, okay there! Just take it easy, we're trying to figure out what happened, just easy, there you go…". The man put a hand on my forehead, and despite my mystifying condition, it did calm me. A little. I marshaled my strength, feeling my head spinning, feeling like I was ready to fall down despite being laid out flat on my back. I finally managed a hoarse whisper.

"Jenna…I'm Jenna…" I croaked in a panic as consciousness fled from me again. The Na'vi man looked a little stunned before replying to me.

"Okay Jenna. Just rest now. We've got you." And then all was dark. Again.

**...**

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**...  
**

"What the hell was that?"

"I don't know…"

"What do you mean, 'you don't know'? That…is Anne's avatar. And over there…is Anne! She's not even anywhere near the link, or anything that could possibly be construed as a link! Hell, she's walking around fully conscious for heaven's sake!"

"I know, I know!"

"Alright, alright…so, what now? Has an avatar ever woken up without the mind link before?"

"She said her name's Jenna."

"…what…? What the…who the hell… Jenna? Who the hell is Jenna and what is she doing in Anne's avatar! How is that even possible?"

**...**

**...**

**...  
**

I started coming to again. My eyes opened again to the hazy light, the same almost familiar, clinical room again. I hadn't thought they would ever open again, and here I was opening them for a second time to the same insane nightmare…if nightmare was the right word. I had been greeted by a Na'vi…impossible. I must have been hallucinating. I hesitated before looking around any more. My hand had looked suspiciously like…

I saw movement. People were coming toward me. The same two non-doctors. Technicians, I had decided. Okay, here we go. I tried a weak smile. Apparently it worked well enough. The two technicians looked at each other and smiled, and smiled back down at me. It calmed me a little more. I had some allies here, maybe. Just maybe they understood how strange this was for me, too.

"Jenna?" The woman inquired gently. Oh thank goodness, the Na'vi man had understood me. Maybe they knew what was going on by now. I nodded, trying to clear my throat again. "Jenna, we're not sure how you ended up here, but we're working on finding out what happened. I'm Lena and this is Hal…". She indicated her technician cohort. "We're going to try and get you up and make sure you're alright, okay?" Her voice was calm and encouraging. I nodded again and closed my eyes, gathering my strength again.

Well, now or never, I decided. I opened my eyes and looked down my body. I could move my head now, which I took as a good sign. And I saw…oh my lord. I saw a ten-foot tall body with blue striped legs and arms sticking out of the white garment draped over me. I moved an arm…yup, it was mine, alright. I laid my head back again, letting it all just wash over me for a moment. They were working on it. They'd figure out what the heck was going on here. Right now, Lena was trying to take care of me and I was happy to go along with that. I took a deep breath and tried sitting up. If my head was spinning before, well, now it was dancing the conga and trying to take the rest of me with it.

"Whoa, alright there, we've got you!" Hal supported my back and steadied my middle while Lena held my arms to keep them from flailing and causing me to pitch myself off the gurney. Now that I was upright, I saw the room around me…it wobbled back and forth alarmingly, but I saw the clinical type setting and a viewing window…with a bunch of people, all humans, behind it. And I saw the Na'vi man, watching us. I think it was the same man…it was hard to tell with the room spinning like it was. It was hard to tell which way was up…

"Ooph, Jenna…! Lena, help…!" I was vaguely aware of slowly leaning into Hal, pushing him over, but I couldn't stop…I couldn't orient myself at all. I saw a streak of blue dash across to room to help Hal hold me on the gurney as I scrambled to grab onto something, anything, to keep me from falling.

"Okay Jenna, just take it easy. Breathe. Slowly, now. Just take a few breaths." It was indeed the same Na'vi man I had spoken to earlier, and hearing his calm voice again helped me obey without questioning…I breathed slowly, deeply, trying to steady myself. After a few moments, it started working. With gravity on my side, I tried clearing my throat again, this time with much more success.

"Hmm, mm! Thank you." I rasped. I took a few more breaths, feeling the dizziness starting to pass. "Sorry," I said to Hal, but he brushed it off, looking relieved to have the help of someone equal to the task of managing me in my newfound body.

"What…what hap-" I started to ask, but Lena cut me off.

"Let's get you oriented and make sure you're fully conscious before asking the tough questions," she said kindly. I understood the sense in that. The shock alone was threatening to knock me out again as it was.

"Alright, Jenna, can you hold out your arms? Hold out your hands?"

I gave it my best, and although my limbs were a little shaky and weak, I lifted my hands out in front of me. I stared at the color, the shape, the stripes…they looked like my hands. They had the right shape. But not the right anything else…how could this body have my shape? No Jenna, not yet…too much, too soon. Relax.

"Okay, good! Now, can you sit up a little straighter? Can you sit up on your own?"

I felt the Na'vi's arm ease up a little behind my back and I swayed dangerously for a moment before discovering my balance. I braced against the gurney with my hands, but managed to sit up on my own. Everyone smiled and I smiled too. I didn't know what was going on, but I had some friends here, it seemed, who cared how I was doing. That counted for something. It was more than I had back home.

**...**

**...**

**...  
**

"So Max, who is that in there? I mean, is she a real person?" Anne asked.

"It looks like it. She's talking, responding…granted it's a little shaky, but the link is always a kind of tricky thing even when you guys are actually, you know…linked. This…" Max shrugged, completely at a loss for words.

Anne looked a little uncomfortable as she shifted in her chair, gazing through the glass window at her avatar moving and talking on its own…no, not on its own, but controlled by someone not her. "It's just…weird…"

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry Anne." Max reached out a comforting hand to her shoulder.

"Hey Max…?"

"Yeah?"

"…is it bad that I didn't really want to have an avatar, anyway?" Anne looked down at her feet. Now that she had come this far, she was ashamed at feeling hesitant to be an avatar driver at all…and even more shamed that she was a little glad that her avatar seemed to be no longer hers.

"…!" Max was stunned to hear her say it, but not terribly surprised now that it came down to it. Still, he didn't know what to say, so moved a little closer and gave her a one-armed hug and shook his head, chuckling a little at her until Anne joined in. Then they chuckled a little more freely, together.

**...**

**...**

**...  
**

Okay. So I was in an avatar body. On Pandora. It was supposed to be a woman named Anne's, but she hadn't linked to it yet, and somehow I managed to end up inside it…

Yeeaahh. Okay, whatever. Facts were facts. We'd iron out the details later. I could move. I could speak. Things seemed to be working pretty well, once I had finally gotten a little more control over myself. The Na'vi guy was Luke and he had an avatar as well. Kind of. He was permanently stuck in his avatar, like some guy named Jake Sully…I don't know, it was hard to comprehend at the moment. Details…later.

Anne had apparently been about to link to her avatar for the first time, which was why Lena and Hal were expecting her, but it seems that she had made a few last minute adjustments and checks and before she actually even got into the link chamber and …voila, there I was. I felt bad. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble. I mean, I just meant to be bleeding to death in a dark alley, quietly exiting the human existence. Apparently, someone had other plans.

The big question now, aside from how I got to be there in the first place, was what was going to happen to me as the hours passed. If I fell asleep, would my consciousness flee? Even though I had already drifted out and back in once before, a true sleep cycle would typically break the link connection completely, unless the person had gone through the process of transferring their consciousness to their avatar body permanently through the ways of the Na'vi, as Jake Sully had done, and Luke. I was fuzzy on how it all worked, but I could comprehend the basics well enough as they explained it to me.

I didn't know who Jake Sully was, but he was someone important around here, it looked like, even though he wasn't around. I gathered that he didn't come around here much at all. I also picked up on the fact that Luke didn't seem to be stationed here, either, but these were just a few more details among the many that I didn't know.

After a couple hours of motory tests, basic function questions, and plenty of rests in between where I felt I was about to faint again, I felt much more myself, if bigger…and bluer…and I was feeling a little silly to be so elated to find myself as an unwitting avatar. I had dreamed of this program back on Earth. I was never even close to being qualified for it, but oh I had dreamed.

Finally, it had come down to it.

"Jenna, do you feel ready to tackle the big questions? We'll be monitoring you, and if you feel dizzy or faint at any point, you can stop and take a break. What do you think?" The way Lena spoke to me, it was hard to say no to her. She was so reasonable. And it was time. I wanted to know what had happened to me, too, even if I wasn't sure I'd like the answers. Even if it meant it was time to wake up back on Earth, cold and dying in a dark alley.

**...**

**...  
**

"I remember the knife cutting me…" My head swam again at the memory, the feeling of being stabbed. I put my hand to my stomach where the knife had punctured my vital organs…nothing there now. Not even a twinge.

"…I started to feel faint. I must have been on the ground because I remember looking up into the sky…it was dark, and cloudy of course. But just for a second, there was a clear patch of sky, between clouds…I could see stars. I remember that very clearly because…" I looked down, a little ashamed and embarrassed at this part, what I thought was going to be my final thought. "…well, because I prayed. To the sky. To whatever. I…I wanted to be…anywhere else, not on Earth." As I retold my tale, something else glimmered in my mind, on the edge of memory…there had been something else as my blood gushed from my body. Something…no, it was gone. And I didn't feel the need to mention it to these people. It couldn't be that important. And besides, although Luke, Hal, and Lena were nothing but sympathetic and helpful, there were a few others lingering around the edges of the lab, listening closely, and they did not look as friendly or sympathetic as the two people and the Na'vi tending to me. I didn't want to give them any ammo for building some crazy case where I transported myself into this avatar body five light years away to escape dying. Jenna, that even sounds paranoid in your own head…but still. I kept it to myself. I couldn't even remember it properly anyway.

"I felt blood all around me and then it all just went dark. And then I started coming to. And…that's the first I remember of this place." I indicated the people listening to my insane tale and the lab around us.

We talked for a while more while they recorded all my answers, all my questions, anything I said. At one point, the stuffier-looking people in lab coats had come in and had a huffy conversation with Lena, Hal, and Luke, the latter being rather persuasive in getting them to leave, looking rather unsatisfied. As a human, Luke had probably been quite persuasive, his voice and manner of speaking coming across very firm. As a Na'vi, he did not look like someone to cross, despite his kind manner, and he had been talking very pointedly to those little humans.

Eventually, things began to wind down and the light outside started fading fast. The end of this insane day. I was fed and left to my own devices while arrangements were made for my unexpected and possibly long-term stay on the planet. Or moon, anyway, as Pandora was actually a moon. I glanced out the window and saw the gas giant we were actually orbiting dominating the sky. There was another moon casting a sharp shadow onto it's hazy surface…and I could see stars. All of them. It was beautiful and I smiled…a real, genuine smile to be here, on this beautiful planet in this impossible situation. I was alive. And this world was beautiful.

I heard some hushed voices in the hall. I padded across the room to listen more closely. I was getting tired of being kept out of the loop, like an experimental subject. I'm sure they wanted to study why I was there at all, but I was a person. I remembered everything from back on Earth, my old life. I hadn't volunteered to be a test subject, regardless of what body I wore. I pressed an ear to the doorjamb just as the voices were fading down the hall. I only caught a few words clearly.

"…gonna have to knock her out. No one volunteers for that…"

"…she even a real person in there…?"

I shivered. I remembered the rather heated discussion from earlier. Luke had stepped in and pretty much shut them down, but he wasn't here all the time. Those people had looked cowed by Luke, but unconvinced. I could easily see them following their own agenda once Luke was out of the building, despite whatever else the others in the lab felt was right. I didn't know what they were planning, but I didn't intend to stick around to find out. If they meant to knock me out, nothing good could come from it. I quietly jogged on my bare feet to the back of the lab again. I could see the dark night outside the window…Pandora. My mind was racing, but I was determined. I shoved the door open and stepped out into the night, the sounds and smells of Pandora filtering through my senses. I was scared, but more scared to turn back and find out what they needed to take from me so badly that I needed to be out for it…so I ran. Right into the forest and didn't look back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jake Sully came flying in low as the sun was setting, his ikran emitting a deep glow in the failing light. He landed right next to the building and hopped to the ground, determined and concerned. Jake stalked to the facility door and knocked on the glass. The people inside were engaged in heated discussion, several humans in masks, one Na'vi in tribal garments. Jake stared at the Na'vi man until he turned to see who was knocking. Luke turned swiftly toward the door once he saw him and allowed Jake in while the humans fell silent in the presence of the Omaticayan clan leader. Jake had been one of them for only a brief time, and had since become so much the Na'vi warrior that he struck an imposing figure amongst the much smaller humans. Jake was not ruthless, but he was a fierce combatant, and all of them had seen him in action.

Jake glanced around carelessly at the foyer and the people grouped there before addressing the Na'vi in their midst, but he spoke in English, a courtesy he did not have to extend to them.

"Luke, you alright? You were due back awhile ago and I was worried when you didn't show. Things okay here?" At this, Jake glanced back at the people. Even though he still spoke more like them than his Na'vi clansmen, the scientists at the facility still felt very intimidated by his gaze. He was no longer one of them, and he never left any question about where his allegiance lay…it was not with them. Still, Jake was not a cruel man…he didn't intend to scare them. He just made no apologies for his manner. If they huddled together and backed away from him a little, well…he had chosen this path, and their behavior didn't concern him.

"Jake, I'm sorry, we've had a…a strange situation going on here." Luke explained in a quiet undertone, trying to convey the situation calmly. "Annie's avatar woke up earlier, apparently with someone else's consciousness inside. She wasn't even linked at the time. Anne, that is. And Jenna…"

"Jenna?" Jake repeated, not recognizing the name.

"Yeah. We don't know where she came from. She was human, on Earth apparently, and just…" Luke made a gesture indicating some kind of soul transfer from one location to another. Interestingly enough, Jake understood it just fine. But he was still stunned by the news. Luke hurried on, talking a little more quickly and more audibly.

"Everyone's okay, Anne's fine, and Jenna is doing just fine with the avatar…"

"Except of course that she just ran out of the building into the forest at night, you mean…" Max spoke up, talking loudly now and a little sarcastically, quite urgently. Max knew both men well, and was not as intimidated by Jake's demeanor. Not quite.

Both Jake's and Luke's heads snapped to him at once. "What?"

"Luke, that's what we were trying to tell you. She just ran out, like, ten minutes ago. We think she got spooked by those two nimrods, the night workers, talking about drugging her up and slicing her open." Max explained.

"Shi-", both Jake and Luke moved as one toward the door, plunging out into the night, each one pelting around the building to the door that led out into the grounds from the lab. Jake pointed for Luke to split off to the right more and Jake indicated he would stay to the left. The men worked in silence as they cautiously searched the grounds radiating out from the door, quietly calling Jenna's name, and then with a glance at each other, strode out into the forest itself. They kept as quiet as possible, not wanting to unduly attract the attention of any early-evening predators.

Jake weaved back and forth through the forest, occasionally catching a scent of his fellow hunter Luke as he also weaved through the trees, back and forth. It was a pattern they knew well, and it was very effective for searching out a target. Jake didn't know who Jenna was or how she had managed to end up in her current predicament, but they were unlikely to find out if she spent much time out here on her own tonight. He didn't want to find her torn to pieces out here. He had no idea who she was, but he did not wish her dead. And Luke's gentle tone when explaining her sudden appearance hadn't been lost on Jake…Luke had felt for her, he could tell. He didn't know her story, but he trusted his clansman's judgment, and Luke had clearly wanted to keep her safe. Jake was not unsympathetic; it sounded like a hell of a situation this poor woman had landed in.

Jake was just about to turn back in Luke's direction again when he smelled an unfamiliar scent…but still undeniably Na'vi. He darted into the brush, calling Jenna's name softly, slipping through the undergrowth as silently as he could. In the distance he caught the yelp of a viperwolf, just beginning the evening's venture. He had to find her. Fast.

Finally, he heard a tiny rustle of movement and upon investigating, he quickly found the inexplicable Jenna, huddled into the hollow of a root, hugging her knees, blood trickling down her forehead, her eyes mostly closed.

"Jenna…?" Jake asked gently, approaching her, laying a hand on her shoulder. Her head rolled to the side as she tried to look at his hand and up at his face. Jake was afraid to move her in case she was severely injured, but he dared not leave her here alone to find Luke.

He crouched down in front of her, lifting her chin and trying to examine her a little in her huddled state. It wasn't long before he found the distinctive twin needle marks in her neck…a sting. She would survive it, but so close to her head, she would be too dazed to do much of anything for awhile. Jake leaned closer to check her bleeding temple…it didn't look bad. She must have whacked it against the trunk in her stupor. That wasn't going to help her dazed state, that was for sure.

As Jake considered his options, he couldn't help but notice that Jenna was completely unclothed. As completely integrated as he was into the Na'vi culture and quite accustomed to their scanty garments, he still had plenty of memories and many years of upbringing that shaped his reactions. It was therefore with just a little hesitation that he grabbed her around the waist, positioning her arms over his shoulder, and bodily hefted her to her feet. Even with the scant clothing being so normal to him, this woman was still naked, and regardless of what she looked like, her mind was more human than Na'vi, he knew. Jake hoped she would understand and made a greater effort to set aside his hang-up of handling a naked woman as he leaned down again, draping her torso across his shoulders and wrapping a burly arm around her thighs. Jenna made no indication she was aware of any of this, but Jake knew the effects of the insect. She was conscious, but very incapacitated.

With his prey found and in hand, Jake made his way warily back toward Luke. They had to keep together and make camp until morning, when less vicious creatures would be prowling for easy meals.

…

…

"She's still pretty out of it, Jake. We can't stay here all day." The night sky had just barely begun to lighten and the two men still stood vigil over the inert figure of the incomprehensible Jenna. She had closed her eyes firmly, but her breathing was steady. She was sleeping off the potent drug from the sting now, no longer conscious through her nightmare of the previous evening, that horrible awareness of her body seizing up around her and unable to do anything about it.

"I know. I hoped she'd be able to walk a little, at least, by now." Jake was worried, and his tone conveyed his concern. He had seen this reaction before, but never had it lasted so long, especially in a full-grown Na'vi. It should have at least begun to wear off.

"Jake, Jenna's not…her circumstances…are not normal. I don't know how she came to be here, physically, in this body…" Luke indicated her prostrate form, "…but she was dying. Back on Earth. Stabbed."

Jake winced and gazed down at Jenna again, the concern in his face only solidifying. "So do you think she's dying now, in this body?" He had to ask the question.

Luke let out a hissing sigh. "I don't know…I don't think so. Jake, she took a long time to wake up in the lab. Maybe…I don't know, maybe she just needs some time. She's still breathing. Her pulse is strong." Luke shrugged, at a loss.

"Alright then. So do we take her back-"

"They'll pull her apart, Jake, they were going to sedate her and check her synapses back at the lab and if she didn't wake up when they were finished…," Luke threw his hands in the air disgustedly and with a sarcastic tone finished his thought, "…oh well! Who had ever heard of Jenna anyway? No, Jake, please…she can't go back there."

"Okay, so we bring her to Hometree." Jake didn't even hesitate, and Luke gave him a very grateful smile. "But Luke, I have to ask…I am responsible for my people, you know that. And you're one of them. You don't even know this girl, or where she came from…hell, or how she even got to be here at all. Is she safe? Why are you so attached to her, already?" He asked it kindly, but straight to the point. There was enough mystery around this strange creature already. If Luke could shed some light on the matter, all the better for everybody.

Unfortunately, Luke didn't have a good answer. He looked at the ground, casting around for the reason he felt such an affinity for the unconscious woman, but came up empty. Jake gave him a hard look and an exasperated sigh.

"Alright, let's get her back to Hometree," he muttered with a shake of head, and he hefted her again onto his shoulders, Luke looking ashamed and a little fearful as he followed the Oloeyktan back to their lands. The journey on foot took a couple of hours, and they shared the task of carrying Jenna back home. Luke carried her carefully, trying to be aware of any small hint that she was coming to, but never seeing any sign. He worried her spirit had fled and all they were carrying was an empty shell once more. But she didn't feel empty to him, somehow. He knew he wanted to believe Jenna was still in that body, but he also felt her shift occasionally, as if in a dream, and thought he heard her mumble once. At that, he had muttered "It's alright Jenna" as he moved along through the forest. Jake had turned to look at him, eyebrows raised, but Luke merely met his eyes defiantly and had said no more, to either one of them.

When they reached Hometree, the sun had risen fully and the clan was mostly out to attend to their duties already, which was just as well. Jake and Luke brought Jenna to a small protected hollow amidst the great roots and laid her down, hopefully to recover fully. Luke was given the task of watching her until she awoke, if she awoke, and Jake would revisit the lab to smooth things over with those left there the night before. He would make it clear that Jenna belonged to the Omaticaya now and they would be tending to her, at least until she could speak for herself. They would not dare refuse him.

Luke looked down at the sleeping woman. He reached out and brushed a few stray locks of hair from her face. He knew this was Anne's avatar, but somehow, it didn't look like Anne at all. He thought of what little he had gleaned about Jenna during the previous day. She seemed like a sweet girl, genuine, and she had adjusted to her insane situation with relative ease, or at least she put on a good face about it. She had almost died. It seemed to Luke to be a terrible loss to have lost such a sweet, strong person as this. She was pretty, too. He brushed her cheek with a gentle hand and looked her all over. She had lost her lab gown somewhere along her flight from the facility and lay completely bare on the floor in the small alcove. Her face was very fine and delicate; she had high cheekbones and her eyes were unusually large for a Dreamwalker, Luke could tell, yet her body betrayed her human-hybrid origins, as did his own. Her shoulders were broad and the muscles lay a little tighter to her frame, more slab-like and less rounded than the natural Na'vi women's shoulders. Her torso was slender and her hips were a little fuller, her legs very shapely yet also slightly more muscular than the Na'vi. Her fingers and toes each counted five on her hands and feet, as well. The striping adorning her skin was very fine and slightly squiggly. It seemed to suit her. Similarly, her bioluminescent speckles created an intricate and delicately lacy pattern across the wavy stripes. Her hair was loose around her face, most of it having escaped its simple tie, and her queue hung long and silky next to her body.

Luke sighed deeply and sat back, contemplating the woman before him and his inexplicable desire to watch over her, at least for now. He waited quietly for her to awake, listening to her steady breathing and occasional mumbles, taking heart that an empty shell should not appear so alive.

…

…

…

I was dreaming. Or I thought I was, anyway. I had been running through the trees, away from the building with the people who had wanted to drug me up and do something to me…what did they say about my brain? I had just run away, not caring what awaited me. I had been dying already. I somehow gained a few extra hours in this incredibly impossible body, so if I died again, I would at least do so free, out in the open underneath this unimaginable sky. Thorns had ripped my gown from me, but I kept running. Something stung me on the neck; I thought it was another thorn until my vision started swimming. So, that was that. I kept moving as long as I could, then tripped and fell, smacking my head against something hard. Could have been a rock, could have been a root. I thought that was it, but then my mind had both cleared and fogged at the same time. It felt like a dream, moments of absolute clarity strung together in a blur of color and sound. My senses peaked, but my mind could not process the information they fed to me.

A man had come out of the forest. He knew my name. But it wasn't the same Na'vi from earlier. Surely a dream. He had scooped me up like a rag doll and carried me through the trees. I couldn't tell why we were moving, but I could feel his warm hands on my naked skin. If it had been real, I would have been embarrassed, maybe even angry that he was touching me so intimately and carrying me away. I couldn't move my arms and they hung limp down his side, but I could feel his strong muscles binding and releasing as he strode through the forest. The dream had faded over time to the tempo of his rhythmic stride.

Now it seemed I was waking once more. As my mind returned to consciousness and my eyes struggled to focus, I vaguely wondered what they would find. This whole crazy turn of events could have been a dream of all of about five minutes…

I woke up more fully and blinked my eyes a few times, trying to register what I was seeing and trying to clear the last of the hazy fog that seemed to have settled over my brain. It was kind of dark, but light was filtering into wherever I was. It looked very earthy. It smelled earthy. I heard a sound near me and turned to see…a Na'vi man crouching by my head. He was smiling. And he looked familiar, but not the one from my dream. So that at least had been a dream. But was I still…blue? I had mixed feelings about finding that out. I closed my eyes again for a long moment, trying to sort through what I could pin down as real versus dream…but I had to give it up. I just didn't know anymore. Luke. The name presented itself in my mind. The man sitting next to me was Luke. He had been very nice to me. I could trust him, as much as anyone here. I opened my eyes again and saw Luke crouched a little lower over my face, peering intently at me and looking worried. Had I closed my eyes for just a few seconds, or several hours? I felt like I had a very poor grasp of reality in this body. Well, nothing to be done for it right now.

I smiled back up at Luke and he seemed heartened by that, greeting me by name. I croaked out a weak "hey" in return. Man, this guy kept seeing me at my worst. I took a few deep breaths, trying to steady my reeling mind. I looked around. I was inside a tree, some sort of hollow. I could hear people outside. Small creature sounds. Wind through the branches. It felt very peaceful. I was starting to feel time properly again and after just a couple of minutes I tried sitting up. I managed it, and kept looking around at my surroundings…before noticing that I was indeed blue and striped…and completely naked. Of course I was. Why wouldn't I be, I thought sarcastically to myself. What next, was I going to throw up on the poor guy's foot? A slight wave of nausea hit me as I sat up, and I closed my eyes tight to fight it. Come on Jenna…get it together.

Instead of hurling, I heard heavy footsteps approaching and before I could even gather my limbs around myself, the man from my dream came striding into view, blocking the door frame with his own. Damn, he was impressive. And real, apparently. He was quite strikingly handsome and his bearing was just…imposing. He glanced right down at me, his eyes traveling over my whole body just once before he turned away and looked outside, speaking to Luke in a low voice. The motion did distract me from the embarrassment of lying naked on the floor in front of the attractive man from my "dream", as it also meant he turned his backside to me which was covered with…very little. Now that my mind was clear from whatever haze I had encountered last night, I remembered the sensations from being lifted and carried through the forest, before I blacked out. I had felt his strong muscles under my limp hands, his sturdy shoulders supporting my body, and had heard the sound of his breathing as a kind of metronome to my delusions. Now, I was remembering them, and feeling the effects I couldn't process last night. I felt my face heat up and glanced away from the man's face. I hazarded a peek past his brawny legs and saw other Na'vi people similarly clad to the two men who quietly mumbled to each other, wearing next to nothing. I glanced over at Luke who was still seated. I relaxed a little, being in good company clothing-wise at least, but huddled my limbs over the sensitive bits all the same. I looked back at the man in the doorway as he gazed out amongst the clearing in the trees, still mumbling a quiet conversation with Luke. Was he being kind, not staring at me in my nakedness? It certainly seemed that way. It was then I glanced down his body (not entirely with pure intentions) and noticed his hand…he had five fingers. The Na'vi had four; avatars had five, I knew. I took a quick glance at Luke's hands. Five fingers. I remembered him telling me that back in the lab.

I was a bit shocked by this and kneeled forward; fortuitously it had seemed, their conversation had hit a lull and I blurted out, "Are you an avatar?" to the man standing in the doorway. Luke glanced sharply at me, but the words had already left my mouth. The imposing man turned his head over his shoulder and fixed me with an almost steely gaze. I felt very exposed under his stare.

"No," he replied in a steady, low voice, and did not elaborate. I didn't dare ask him to. His eyes dipped down to my knees and back up again before he turned and walked out, mumbling and yet still quite audible, "I'll find you some clothes."

"I'm sorry," I said in a very small voice when he had gone. Luke turned to me with sympathetic exasperation showing in his face, but when he spoke it was in a soft, instructive kind of tone.

"Jenna, that's Jake Sully. He's the Oloeyktan of this tribe, the clan leader. It was he and I who brought you back here last night after you had run out. You were stung by an insect in the forest and it looks like you hit your head pretty good. By now, the drug should have left your system for the most part, so you should be feeling a lot better once you get up and move around a bit and eat something. Don't worry…we're going to take care of you here." He smiled kindly at me, and I believed him. He was pretty handsome himself, if I had to admit it, but somehow he made me feel much more comfortable naked than Jake Sully had. Luke's presence almost felt like being with a doctor. He didn't look away from me like Jake had, just kept a steady gaze on my face. I was glad for his confidant presence, despite still feeling very exposed.

I nodded my head, grateful for Luke's explanations and vaguely being aware of the sting itself, the fall, the journey further into the woods to this place. I still felt badly for my blunt question, though.

"I didn't mean to offend him…" I said quietly.

"You didn't," Luke said swiftly, shaking his head. "Jake was an avatar, years ago, he was in the program, but…stuff happened he'd rather not remember and he transferred his consciousness into the Na'vi body permanently. He is Na'vi now, completely. As am I." Luke smiled genially. My head spun at the information…I didn't fully understand it. Luke had mentioned that in passing yesterday back at the lab, but it had been a mystery to me what he actually meant by it. I understood the basics of the avatar program, but transferring consciousness…? Permanently? Which led me to…

"Luke, am I an avatar? I'm not linked anywhere…"

"I'm sorry Jenna, we just don't know. Jake and I were talking last night as we carried you home, but we don't have any idea of how you got to be here, in someone else's avatar, no less. It shouldn't have been possible, but here you are! So, we really don't have any idea yet of what to expect." He spoke softly, calmly explaining. His eyes were so warm and kind.

"So, what now? I just hang out with you guys until I don't wake up again?" I asked, trying to insert the same calm tone into my own words. I wasn't really worried about dying…again…but I wanted to know what was going to happen…if that was going happen. Surely those lab guys hadn't forgotten about me running out on them, either. They'd probably want me back there; that's the standard procedure for labs, wasn't it? Get the test subject back? Hack 'em up?

"No, we're going to see Mo'At today and ask if she has any insight into this mystery. We will find some answers, Jenna. One way or another." He smiled easily again. "In the meantime, I'll do my best to give you some answers. I know they didn't give you a lot of info in the lab yesterday."

I smiled and chuckled a little ruefully, nodding my head again. Luke was a friend, and I was glad to have him. I heard footsteps again coming toward us and sure enough, Jake came through the door, pausing just a moment before walking up to me and handing me a very small bundle. I chanced reaching out an arm to accept it, not quite managing to keep myself covered but at least not embarrassing myself any further by falling over onto my face or anything. Even kneeling on the ground, my legs felt very unsteady under me. Jake gave me a little smile before turning to Luke.

"See you soon, brother." And he bounded outside once more, his tail whipping around the edge of the tree as he swung out of view. Luke got up, himself, in one fluid motion. The grace and power with which these men moved was incredible. Jake was clearly a very capable person, but he gave me the impression that he had seen too much in his life. I imagined that probably only fueled his ability to be a very strong clan leader to these people. I didn't doubt for a second why he was clan leader here. In motion, Luke also showed a great deal of raw power, and I saw in him the capacity to be a very daunting presence if met under the right…or wrong…circumstances, remembering the glimpse of him speaking to the stuffy-lab-guys. But his demeanor was very kind. He was very calm and collected, which was very reassuring in my present state. I realized I would have welcomed either of these men at my side when I was stabbed in that alley way…even if they hadn't known me, I imagined either Jake or Luke would have defended me from my drug-crazed murderer.

"Alright, I'll leave you to get clothed," he pointed at the small bundle, "and just shout out if you need help. I'll just be outside." Luke smiled again and swung outside.

I shook my head as Luke left, shaking the fatal memory from my mind. I had to stop dwelling on it. Whatever happened had happened, and I wouldn't find out much just by stewing on it. I untied the bundle in my hands and looked incredulously at the garments within, very effectively distracted from my morbid thoughts. Oh boy. Not much there, and yet I had no idea how they went. There didn't seem to be nearly enough substance to them. I glanced outside at the people moving around, trying to discern how they arranged their clothing…but couldn't figure it out. Oh, would the humiliation never cease?

"Uh…Luke…?" A head popped back inside. I swallowed my pride and held up the skimpy garments, misery all over my face. Luke took pity on me immediately and came in to help.

"Here…", he took one garment and untangled it, holding it out so I could see, then wrapped it around my shoulders, covering my chest a little. Not completely, but just as much as any other woman I could see. Luke had no shame in holding up the garments and wrapping them around me, but he was careful not to touch me, I noticed. I couldn't see that it made much difference, at this point, but it was a kindness.

Next he unraveled a long cloth and held that out, too…clearly the loincloths they all wore. "And, like this…" He wrapped it around my waist. "This goes under…" He indicated where I should pull and I obliged, glad to keep at least a little decorum. "And then around…" He showed me how the trappings went around my tail…ooohh that felt weird…and then finally the whole assembly tied together on my hip. It wasn't actually that complicated now that Luke had gone through it. I felt like a dunce.

"Thank you," I muttered.

"Don't worry about it," he said, chuckling. "First time's always tricky. Come on let's find you something to eat." I followed Luke outside, my senses taking everything in and my mind finally able to process some of it. I noticed the glances and stares of the other clansmen and women. It seemed to me that they were actually trying not to stare, and I wondered if they had been briefed about me already. Probably, I thought.

I could smell…everything. There was a faint scent of charcoal, and I saw the blackened fire pit, not currently in use, and I could smell the earthy ground, the slightly harder scent of the trees, the clean aroma of leaves and vegetation wafting on the breeze. I could also catch the very slight scent of Luke in front of me. It was unique from the others we passed, and each of them was unique as well. I was amazed I could detect the subtle differences. I felt vibrations through my bare feet and was astounded to determine that I could identify the direction they were coming from. My eyes were sharp, finely attuned to catch movement, and I glanced left and right as I followed Luke, seeing the people all around the clearing, their children running and playing, and even a few very large horse-like creatures. I caught snippets of conversation in a language I didn't understand, and discovered that my ears swiveled and focused the sound from any direction. Another strange sensation. Occasionally my tail would flick at my ankles and I would jump a little. Normally, I wouldn't have been…terribly…concerned that anyone would have noticed my startled reaction to having suddenly grown a tail, but in this body, I quickly realized my senses were much more highly attuned, and surely the people around me had honed their skills much more finely than my own…I'm sure they'd have noticed me jump, and I hunkered down even further into my embarrassment. I made a deliberate effort to acknowledge my tail and remember its presence, trying to keep it held away from my ankles and avoiding the further shame of jumping every time it touched me.

Luke led me to a spot somewhere near the charred fire pit and brought me something to eat, though of course I didn't recognize anything in front of me. I must have looked at it a little skeptically, because Luke gave me a very knowing look and told me to just try it. It tasted mostly like different fruits and things, and it was in fact pretty good. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I finally had something in my stomach.

"Wait here, eat. I'm going to find Jake and Mo'at." Luke smiled again before bounding off. I was alone, huddled on my own, chowing on strange food in a strange place, without the faintest idea of how I got there. I finished my food and placed the bowl on the ground, looking around timidly and starting to worry again. How was anyone here going to give me answers? They were tribal people. There wasn't a machine for miles, I guessed, and anyway, it didn't seem like I needed a machine to stay linked with this crazy body. Back on Earth, my human body was probably dead. No way could I have lost that much blood and be found in time to survive. So, why was my mind alive, here? Didn't death sever the connection, in either direction, whether it was the human body or the avatar body that was killed?

I was starting to panic, unable to keep my mind off of these awful scenarios and wondering just how long this unstable connection could possibly last. I felt hot tears sting my eyes and I closed them tightly to squeeze them away. It was all too much to think about. I was ready to sprint away into the woods again when I heard footsteps approaching once more. I opened my eyes to see both Jake and Luke coming toward me. Jake reached me first and apparently my hunched body and clenched arms gave me away.

"Jenna, you alright?" Jake crouched down in front of me, looking me in the eye and looking very concerned himself. He was no less imposing for showing such a tender side. He laid a hand on my shoulder and tilted his head to the side, searching my face. The tender gesture and the disarming tilt of his head pushed me over the edge. I gulped in a large breath before breaking out in a great sob. The tears came streaming down my cheeks as the uncertainty and fear came pouring out. I huddled my arms closer around my body, trying desperately to withdraw, to keep my shame from this great man, and my last glance at both Jake and Luke before I buried my head in my hands showed them both looking rather alarmed.

I heard Luke move in closer and stop just a couple feet away from me. Jake's hand still rested on my shoulder and I heard him shift a little. It seemed that, just as on Earth, these men didn't really know what to do with a crying woman, and I was in no state to help them. An awkward moment passed as I sobbed heartily into my own hands, my body shaking, before I heard Jake shift again. I chanced a watery glance out from my fingers and saw him kneel down before feeling both of his arms wrap around me as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Okay, it's okay Jenna," Jake thrummed in a low voice.

I only cried harder at the kind-hearted gesture coming from this powerful creature, but I let him tug me into his chest and hold me close. Everything was not okay, but I felt a little less panicked in Jake's strong and sturdy embrace. My arms now pinned between his torso and mine, I couldn't hide my face anymore and saw Luke crouch down next to us, a slightly frustrated look in his eye mingling with the concern. I shut my eyes to block out the look…I couldn't bear being such a burden to the man who had been so kind to me already. I was just a fool lost in the woods. I belonged nowhere. When I opened my eyes again, though, the irritation had fled from Luke's face and he just sat there on the ground, full of sympathy, a hand reaching out and stroking my head while Jake held me tight.

After a few minutes' hard sobbing and kind, soothing hands, I got a hold of myself again, breathing deep and trying to calm my storming heart. I wasn't shaking anymore but I felt awful for having broken down so completely. I pulled away from Jake a little and he let go, letting me sit back again. Luke moved in a little closer, keeping a supportive hand on my back as he had the day before, when I had tried sitting up. I saw him casting a look at Jake but didn't catch his expression, and hastily wiped my face with as much dignity as I could manage.

"You okay, Jenna? Don't worry, we'll figure this all-" but I had had enough reassurances, even from kind-hearted Luke.

"How, though?" I squeaked at Luke. I meant it as a shout, but my voice was still squeezed tight by the threat of tears. "How are we ever going to figure out what happened? Why I'm here? This shouldn't have happened at all, it isn't possible, and I'm supposed to be dead! I was bleeding out, I can still feel myself getting cold and what if this, this stupid body, kicks me out again and I go back?" I was shouting now, at last, desperate and scared. "I don't wanna go back there, Luke, I don't want to die! But this isn't right! Nothing about this should have happened at all!" I was crying again. I wasn't angry at Luke, but I couldn't stand not knowing anything about anything anymore. I was completely lost, panic-stricken, and just desperate. I implored Luke to tell me anything at all. "How are we possibly going to figure anything out, at all? How?"

"We-, uh, we're going…" Luke seemed at a loss, his face dismayed. I felt terrible. He hadn't deserved my outburst and I could tell it had caught him off guard. He stammered a few more half-words in the wake of my panicked diatribe before Jake interrupted.

"We're going to take you to see Mo'at." Jake cut in with a firm, quiet tone. He held a hand up to silence my question and continued swiftly. "She is the Tsahik, our spiritual leader. She will be able to give us some clues about your link to this body, and we're going to take you to see her right now, as soon as you're ready to travel." He spoke quickly and although I was a little relieved to finally be facing some imminent answers, or clues at least…I would take whatever I could get…I was still unconvinced how a shaman woman was going to help. Was she going to divine some answers for us? However, I nodded at Jake and took a few deep breaths, casting my eyes down at the ground away from the men.

Finally, I lifted my eyes to look directly at Luke, still hunched down next to me. "I'm really sorry, Luke…"

"No, it's alright Jenna. I know you're scared." Luke gave me a gentle squeeze. "I know this isn't easy to take." I just nodded limply, still ashamed for shouting and carrying on. I looked up a little at Jake, his chest still smeared with my tears.

"Sorry…" I said to him, indicating his moistened self.

"Don't worry about it," he replied, smiling a little and rubbing his chest to help the tears dry. I was still terribly embarrassed but the weight of fear and uncertainty looming in my mind overshadowed the shame.

I settled more comfortably on the ground and let myself breath deeply for a few minutes. I was tremendously grateful for these guys' patience. When I was calm again, I decided I needed to know a little more about this woman, Mo'at.

"So Mo'at…is in touch with…the powers that be?" I tried to ask as respectfully as I could. I didn't want to offend anyone with an insolent tone. I believed in a higher power myself, but was unsure of the particulars. Back on Earth, they didn't seem to matter much, but I knew people could be quite touchy on the subject of their own chosen particulars. Much to my surprise, though, both Jake and Luke grinned. They both started to speak at once, but Luke's voice won out.

"Eywa. She is touch with Eywa, our Great Mother, who is a part of every living thing on this planet, plant, animal, all of them. It's a connection we can measure by electrochemical means, even. She…sort of governs…the network of energy flowing between all of us. Mo'at has been meditating at the Tree of Souls all morning in preparation for our arrival." Luke went on a bit more about connections and energy flows, the bond between animals and people, even plants, and he spoke of them all as being one with each other. "Us" he referred to them as, no one separate from another, or less important, plant, animal, what have you.

I hung my head and shook it a little back and forth. There was so much to process…energy flows and connections between animals…and plants?

"What, Jenna, what is it?" I heard Jake interject softly. I could only glance up at him and mouth incoherently, holding my hands wide. I couldn't understand it all, I could hardly even begin. I didn't disbelieve what they were saying; I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. Jake chuckled a little, though, as though he understood.

"I know, it's a lot to take in. Give it time. You don't have to pass a test or anything." He chuckled again and broke into a wide grin. I couldn't help but grin a little myself. Alright. I was just going to have to accept it until I could learn more. And I was ready to go see Mo'at. Time to get things moving.

"Okay, I'm ready, I think. Let's go…wherever we're going."

Luke jumped up in a lithe, steady leap, and held a hand out to help me to my feet. Then he strode off into the trees. I was about to follow him, but glanced over at Jake, who was getting up lazily and just staying put, so I stayed put too. Just a moment later, Luke returned leading two of the giant horse-like rhinoceros things. I was about to ask if all three of us were going or just two of us (and which two, and was I really going to have to ride that thing by myself?) when Jake spoke up.

"Jenna, you'll ride with me. Luke will lead the way on Aye'y." I assumed that was the name of the creature Luke held, and he looked a little flightier than the horse-rhino creature Jake was leading away from the other. I would have preferred riding with Luke, since I was a little more comfortable with the notion of wrapping my hands around his waist instead of the undeniably appealing midsection of Jake, but Aye'y snorted and spun a little and I didn't question it.

Jake reached around behind him for the long braid cascading from his head and somehow connected it to the antennae of the creature. Okay, that was pretty wild. Then he jumped lithely onto the animal's back, no gear or straps involved. He held out a hand to me and beckoned me forward. "Come on."

I glanced over at Luke, who was watching us intently, before silently shrugging to myself and cautiously approaching Jake on his steed. The creature shifted only a little as I made a giant leap up onto its back, Jake helping by pulling me up a bit. He didn't indicate that I should…connect…to the creature, so I let that slide for the moment while I tried to get a leg on either side of the animal's back. I slipped and almost toppled over the other side headfirst, but I made a wild grab and clenched onto Jake's right thigh. I pulled myself back into place, and by getting a little uncomfortably close and grabbing hold of his hip, I managed to get my right leg swung over the creature's back and sat up behind Jake.

"Uh, sorry," I said to him, apologizing for my behavior in trying to avoid a face full of dirt, and pulling my hands off of him. I couldn't help but notice how solid he had been when I had grabbed him so uncouthly.

"Jenna, if you apologize again, I'm going to throw you out of the clan, okay?" I was momentarily worried despite Jake's calm tone, but then I saw him grin over his shoulder at me. The more I interacted with Jake, the more I saw what a decent guy he really was. He was less scary, grinning at me. I liked him. Maybe he was a friend, too. We'd have to see. I glanced over at Luke. He wore a slight grimace as he connected his queue to his own creature and swung easily up onto its back. The animal snorted and reared a little before I saw Luke take a deep breath and lay a calm hand on its neck. Luke hadn't been startled at all by the animal's reaction; he just sat securely on its back, calm and cool. Aye'y immediately quieted, and he turned to us, his face open and pleasant once more, ready to start the journey. I wondered vaguely whether Luke didn't like Jake, but that seemed inconsistent…they had seemed very close when I was first waking up, and from the little I remembered of the previous night. Well, whatever. There were more complicated things to worry about here.

"Hold on," Jake said and I timidly placed a hand on either side of his waist, keeping my seat a few inches behind his. I could feel the guard he wore was surprisingly flexible and molded to his body pretty tightly. Underneath the garment, he was solid. I felt his torso tense a split second before the creature moved forward. It took off…at a slow walk, but the motion of its body almost pitched me off the side again and I clamped down on him, shifting back into position and sliding my arms a little further around his middle. In the process, I slid forward a bit and found myself pressed firmly against him, my stomach against his ropy back, my thighs pressed against his. I was about to apologize again, but I thought he just may not have been entirely joking earlier, so I just held on and hoped he couldn't feel the heat of my face blushing against his back as his tail trailed lazily over my thigh.

We just walked for a moment and I slowly got used to the motion. I eased my grip a little, which seemed to cue Jake that I was getting more comfortable. I felt his legs grip the animal's sides a little more firmly.

"We're going to move a little faster, ready?"

I wasn't, but I said okay, clutching him a little tighter again and securing my legs around the animal's sides, as he had done. Jake reached for my hands and pulled them across his heart, holding both of my arms together with one hand while he reached out the other and gripped the creature's neck a little. As he did so, we really began to move. The animal smoothly shifted into a faster gait and I was glad Jake had a hold of me. It was terrifying, plunging through the forest at such speed. But it was also exhilarating…I was firmly in place behind Jake and he seemed to have precision control over the creature's movement, although I didn't see or feel him directing the animal at all. I glanced at his queue, looped forward and firmly connected to the creature's antennae. Wild, I thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

We rode for quite some time, sometimes at a swift pace through clearer patches of forest, sometimes at an easy walk through heavy sections of vines and branches. During one of the latter, I decided to risk another apology, still feeling like an idiot from that morning and even more so for clinging to the man I had insulted…despite what Luke had said to reassure me.

"Jake…?"

"Hmm?"

"…I really am sorry I was so rude…when I first woke up. I didn't mean to offend you, I just noticed your hands and I wasn't even thinking…"

Jake sighed deeply and was silent for a moment before responding. I thought I might have re-offended him. Good job, Jenna.

"It's alright. It's all ancient history to me, and I'd like to keep it that way. I don't like remembering…those days." I understood. I knew we all had demons we'd rather not remember, but who were part of us all the same. I nodded silently against his back, knowing exactly how he felt.

A little while later, we came upon an incredible sight…it was a valley, of sorts, nestled between two great towers of rock and tree. The ground was a network of roots with very little other vegetation, and right in the center, underneath a series of incredible arches of stone, was a gigantic tree. It was still bright daylight, but the tree seemed to shine with an otherworldly light. Surely, this must be the Tree of Souls, I mused. As we rode closer and closer, I could see the branches of the great tree extending overhead, and thick, vine-like tendrils cascading down from them. They were, in fact, glowing faintly. I could see it in the shadowy sections. I was in awe. Never in my craziest dreams had I ever imagined such a magnificent creation. It was beautiful. And it was imposing, in and of itself. I felt a kind of heavy, silent presence as we rode underneath the tree. I wondered if it was just my own impression, or if Jake could feel it too. I dared not ask. Not here.

I heard a screeching wail from the valley wall as we closed in upon the tree. It was an unearthly shriek and I clenched my arms around Jake, hunching against him, trying to turn and see where the sound had come from at the same time. It was a flying creature…a dragon, was the first thing I thought of and was a pretty accurate description. That couldn't be good…

"It's an ikran. We ride them for the hunt, but they can only carry one," Jake explained. I was still spooked by the creature, but intrigued. I wondered if he had one, and if Luke also rode a dragon. I looked over Jake's shoulder and saw a small vanguard of people by the tree. Three, it looked like, and sure enough, there were three…ikrans…perched together on the far wall.

We reached a point close to the tree and I could see the three people at the base of the tree waiting for us. Two women and one man. We halted and I saw Luke leap down from his mount and turn toward Jake and I. Jake swung a leg over the animal's neck, in front of him, and pulled his queue free from the creature's antennae as he slid down to the ground. I followed suit and swung a leg forward, sitting sideways on its back for a moment before dropping to the ground myself. I hit hard and almost ended up doing a face plant again, but Jake steadied me, saving me from more humiliation. Luke came up to us before heading toward the other group. He smiled warmly at me and I smiled back. He really did have quite a lovely smile. I was starting to really like Luke and appreciate his presence.

"She did alright?" he asked Jake.

"Not a hitch," Jake replied. He turned to me before heading toward the group, toward the tree, and I followed both men to where the three stoic figures awaited us.

Jake greeted them in their own language, Luke standing just behind his clan leader. The older woman greeted him back, the other two nodding as well, and they spoke briefly in Na'vi. Just as I was getting nervous again, Jake turned and beckoned me forward. His bearing here, amongst other members of his clan, was daunting. He fit his role as Oloeyktan very well, and I moved forward at his command, albeit a little nervously.

The older woman came forward to greet me as the other two, her vanguard, stepped back and away. She must be Mo'at, the Tsahik. She was adorned in an ornate shawl and had an impressive and elaborate set of braids on her head. Her bearing matched that of the clan leader's. I shrunk back a little as she came toward me, bowing my head and trying to be smaller.

"What is your name, child?" she asked me, not unkindly. I looked up at her and swiftly gave her my full name.

"Jennavie." I felt compelled to hide nothing from this woman, and the feeling unnerved me. She could have become very intimidating very quickly, but she smiled warmly at me and introduced herself.

"I am Mo'at, Tsahik of the Omaticaya. My child, Eywa holds many mysteries, not all of which are destined to be discovered. She has great influence in our world; we do not know how far her influence extends beyond." It took me a moment to realize she was talking about the possibility that Eywa had influenced my situation…but, Earth was five light years away! No way I could have made that journey so fast. Come to think of it, I had no idea what the date was, right now, back on Earth. For all I knew, it could well have been five years of travel for me. I was clearly missing some vital information here. I tossed a questioning glance over at Luke and Jake, but Luke just looked at Jake, and Jake held up a finger and pursed his lips, gesturing for me to wait a minute. I knew so little about the Na'vi, but they didn't seem the sort for those kinds of gestures...certainly not a "just one minute" sort of gesture, anyway. Seeing these clearly interpreted signs from both Jake and Luke made me much more comfortable than I had any right to be, given the circumstances. The brief moment of silent communication was not lost on Mo'at. Her eyes flickered between us before she continued.

"We will see if Eywa has any guidance to offer us, here in this place. Tsahaylu, the bond between Na'vi and the Great Mother's creation, is her greatest gift to us and how she communicates with her design. Though we may feel her energy around us at all times, through tsahaylu we may come to understand her more implicitly. We will bond with her, together…all of us," and she turned toward Jake and Luke, gesturing them closer. "Our knowledge of events thus far will merge, and then it is Eywa's will what may or may not become clear."

I was a little relieved to see the men looking a little confused as well. Tsahaylu, I gathered, was the bond Jake and Luke had made with their horse-creatures. That explained how Jake was able to direct the animal so adeptly through the tightly woven trees. But still…how? I had a queue…it felt just like hair. I felt it swinging behind me, but it didn't feel like a mystical cable connection just waiting to plug into something. Well, no time for pondering such things just now. Mo'at beckoned us closer, gathered us around some low-hanging tendrils, easily reachable. She grasped the tendrils gently and brought her queue up to them. The silky hair fell back and I could see fleshy tendrils protruding and waving out from the braid. I was a little taken aback and reached for my own queue to examine it. Sure enough, mine was the same. I brushed my fingers across the thin feathery tendrils. It tingled, deep inside somewhere. Funky.

Jake and Luke were glancing at each other uneasily, not reaching for the other nearby tree tendrils, but just waiting on Mo'at. Presently, she sighed and spoke again.

"Jake Sully, Lukas, join with these same tendrils, now," she said as she indicated the group of tendrils she had gathered in her hand, "and Jennavie, you also, but above mine." I moved in closely as Jake and Luke both brought their queues up to the tree's vines. I glanced back at the two others in Mo'at's vanguard. They stood sentry, looking wide eyed and curious, but also steady and alert. This was new to them, too, it seemed. I brought my queue up above Mo'at's and in the split second before it eagerly grabbed at the tree, I saw Jake and Luke both open their mouths as if in astonishment. A split second later, I understood.

I felt as though a light flashed through my mind, though I knew with certainty my eyes had not seen it. I saw flashes of people I did not know, yet I knew their names, and knew how those gathered around me had felt about them. It was like an intimate conversation with friends over a long night, but experienced over an instant. Flashes of places I had never been, yet knew very well. I saw flashes of Earth. I felt Mo'at frown. I heard machine gun fire. I felt a blast in my spine, and yet not my spine. I felt Jake's pain. I heard Luke crying as if from a million miles away, and felt his sorrow…his sister taken by drugs, so young. At last, I felt an all too familiar knife slip into my stomach and the warm blood gushing out. The other sensations I had felt and sensed while knowing I was not actually feeling them. This last one, the murderous knife, I felt more acutely. It was my memory, after all. I wanted to leave it, cast it aside, but I felt Mo'at hone in on it, somehow. There was something else there.

With the Tsahik guiding us, I could feel my life's essence slipping from my human body. My conscious memory was nothing but pain, but now I could actually feel my soul detaching from the earthly trappings of flesh and bone. There had been a light then too, I could see, now…I had thought it was a star. I still did not know what it had been, but I felt Mo'at's recognition of it as a seed of Eywa. Not physically there, in that alley, but in my mind. It spoke to me in a language that had no sound, only light, only energy. It conveyed a very simple message: pass on, or live. So I had followed. It had guided me to this body, fixing me firmly in place, and then vanished into the ether of unreality again.

I felt Luke remembering my appearance, logging the event. He was a scientist, a lab worker, and also one of the clan. A unique combination, I knew, from Mo'at and Jake. The date…was almost exact. Only a few days' discrepancy between my death-date and my arrival here, which could easily be explained by the slight discrepancies of keeping Earth time on a foreign planet. It was effectively an instantaneous transfer.

So, we had the how, no matter how crazy it seemed. Such was the nature of this connection that I understood these things to be fact, whether I wanted to believe them or not. As for why…here, Mo'at intervened on our behalf. I felt her send the question into the ether. I don't think I could have sent such a request, myself, and felt the men on my sides feeling the same. Mo'at was skilled in this, I knew implicitly. We received no answer I could discern. Instead, our collective memories continued to swirl, slowly as if through a haze. I heard Mo'at sigh and opened my eyes to see her pull her hand away and allow her queue to fall from the tree's tendrils. As soon as she broke the connection, my own queue let go voluntarily as Jake's and Luke's did likewise. I reeled from the experience and felt faintly ill. Luke put a hand on my arm, and the physical touch helped bring me back to the world as I knew it, the one I could sense through my eyes and ears, my nose and my skin.

We held a moment's silence before Jake asked quietly, "Ma sa'nok, what was that?"

"Tsahaylu, my child, as you have not experienced it before. It is not without risk, to bind so many, so close, but in this daughter's circumstance, necessary." Mo'at seemed tired, and I realized she had put a tremendous amount of effort into this encounter. Just for my sake. I felt unworthy of whatever risk there had been, but we each seemed pretty unscathed, if rather spent. The great woman continued, "There will be more to learn, but not today. Not today."

She turned to her escorts and they spoke in Na'vi again. I heard her say Luke and Jake's names, and immediately Luke spoke up, in Na'vi, while Jake stood attentively. Finally, it seemed something had been decided and the two unknown Na'vi headed toward the dragons, no the ikrans, while Luke and Jake had a short conversation in Na'vi with each other.

Luke turned to me and said, "Mo'at will ride back to the village with me. We're going to ride fast to get her home quickly so she may rest and meditate on this. Jenna, you'll ride with Jake again…at whatever speed you can handle." Luke had started out serious, but his tone turned a little saucy and I saw him raise an eyebrow at Jake as he ended his sentence. Jake growled at him a little in response which only made Luke grin wider as he gathered up his mount and vaulted onto its back. Mo'at leaped up lightly behind him and they were off just as quickly as the two dragon-riders with their single unburdened charge.

Alone with the Oloeyktan, the vague images of his memories still floating across my mind, and the very real memories of my own death…for I knew now, my human body had died there in the alley…well, I felt very raw, and very exposed, once again. Luke's words echoed in my ears and I thought it rather out of character for him to poke fun at my inability on horseback. I didn't know him that well, really, but come on…I'd only just gotten there, after all. I felt a little miserable. But Jake must have sensed my imminent apology and rather than having to kick me out of the clan for saying it, he said hastily, "He was talking about me, Jenna, I'm not the best on the pa'li." He turned and strode toward the remaining horse creature, the pa'li, and made tsahaylu with the beast, swinging himself gracefully up onto its back again. He certainly didn't seem to have any trouble with the creature from where I stood. He guided the animal over to me and reached down. "Coming?" Oh boy, I thought. Here we go again. My second attempt at mounting was even worse as I tried to correct my earlier faults and only managed to grab his thigh again, embarrassingly close to his groin this time, and actually managed to get caught under his arm and yanking his tail simultaneously, causing him to let out a brief "Ah!" as he reached around to keep me from falling off, and nearly unseating him in the process.

"Ooh, I'm sss…" I let the apology hiss off my tongue, still unsure about Jake's earlier tease about throwing me out of the clan. Jake just laughed out loud and urged the pa'li onward, at a walk, while I put my hands on his waist again and laid my blazing forehead against his strong back. I felt sure he must feel my blushing against his skin, but I was beyond caring about that. There were so many other delightful things to be embarrassed about at the moment, and Jake just chuckled as we rode along at an easy pace.

We rode more slowly on the way back than we had ridden earlier. I wasn't sure if Jake was keeping to an easier pace for my sake or for his own, but I wasn't going to argue. I stayed quiet for some time, just holding him around his waist and nestled close to his hips. For everything that had happened to me in the past…oh, say, 36 hours or so, I guessed…I was amazed how quickly the mind could adapt to new situations. I thought back to my old life. My human life. The life, and planet, I was unlikely to ever see again. I found I was not terribly torn up about it. I had been ready to die when that druggy came after me. I didn't ask for death, but I was ready for something, anything, else. Well, this was certainly anything else. And I was adjusting quickly. I was curious about what had happened, and with the peace of knowing that I was firmly fixed in this body, however it had come to pass, I was ready for this new chapter in my life. I was ready to move on, just like that. I wondered about my future. Would I become part of the clan? Jake's clan? Could I be useful to them? I thought about the two men who were befriending me: Luke, and Jake. Both former humans, like me. Former human…it sounded strange to me, but I rolled it around my head a few more times, looking at my blue striped skin, feeling my tail waving around behind me, my ears pricking to and fro. I looked at the man between my hands, also blue striped, tail just like mine, and that long, thick, silky, mysterious queue. I was starting to get used to the idea of my new appearance, and the appearance of the Na'vi around me.

I thought about Luke. He looked the part of a full-on Na'vi hunter, but he spoke like a human. His mannerisms and words were very…human. I liked Luke already. Maybe it was the tension from being thrown into such a wild situation, but I felt a very close affinity for Luke. He had been very helpful and compassionate to me when I had…arrived. I felt comfortable around him, already. He garnered that sort of atmosphere around himself. He was very kind, very caring, and very aware. He was a scientist and had the mindset of a researcher, I could tell already, but he carried with him a great deal of empathy as well. It tempered his incredible intelligence and made him wise. He understood a great deal, and cared a lot. And he was built like an athlete. His very capable physique had not been lost on me, nor had his fluid movements, and now that I was settling back into myself, so to speak, I was noticing that although he wasn't the usual sort of male I would imagine as attractive…being ten feet tall, blue, with ears and tail, that is…he was indeed attractive, and his stellar personality only made him more so. Maybe I was adjusting to my new persona even more quickly than I thought, but I didn't feel strange finding his physical appearance so acceptable. More than acceptable, in fact. I wondered if he found me attractive at all. I thought of the implications of that, and smiled a sly little smile to myself. I started to wonder what I actually looked like. I had discovered ears, tail, blue skin, the works, but I had no idea what my face looked like. Did I resemble my old self? Or Anne, back at the lab? My hands…were my hands. They had the same shape as my old human hands, and my feet were the same, too. How was that even possible? Well, Mo'at had mentioned there would be more to say…maybe these questions could wait until then. For the meantime, having my own hands and feet in front of my eyes was actually very comforting, even if they were an unconventional color.

Still, I wondered if I was…well, pretty. Everyone wants to be pretty, and I had been well enough content with my appearance back on Earth. But here…well, maybe I could find a mirror, or a bowl of water, or something, and see if my face, too, looked familiar to me, underneath the blue skin and stripes. My hands, after all…

As I pondered the mystery of my hands yet again, despite trying to let it go for now, I registered the fact that they were still wrapped around Jake's middle. Which led me to ponder Jake, himself. I didn't know what to think about Jake. I wasn't completely comfortable around him. He felt…fierce. Intense. But he was also very caring, it seemed. He was sharp; he was extremely observant, and very confidant. But not arrogant. I had no doubt he was a very good clan leader. He was one heck of a man, that was for sure. Oh yes, I had not been blind to his own chiseled physique. He was brawnier than Luke, a bit. He moved like a fighter. A warrior. Of course…he had been a marine. I remembered now from the bond we had all shared. He was indeed a trained fighter. But he was also very compassionate. He cared. He was kind. He seemed fairly easy going, too, once we got past the avatar faux pas. And yet he also seemed pretty guarded. He was an intriguing combination of contradictions. I told myself that was why I found him so fascinating. I told myself firmly that that was the reason. It wasn't the bulging muscles, or the warmth from his skin pressed against mine right now. It wasn't his strikingly handsome face, or his brilliant smile, when he smiled. It wasn't even his well muscled backside, so scantily clad…or the way he had looked me up and down before turning away when I was sprawled out on the ground, completely naked…

My stomach swooped at the memory, and I had to admit to myself that yes, yes I found this guy extremely appealing, blue stripes and ears and tail and everything, as I felt my skin prickle with goosebumps. I had been in no state to feel anything but embarrassment at the time, but now…well, now I wondered what he had thought of me. I blinked hard to clear my mind. Jenna, stop being crazy. You just died yesterday on Earth, you had a strange alien deity come pick you up and bring you here and stick you in an unused body and who knew what was going to happen now? And besides…regardless what he thought about me, or however hunky he was, Jake was unreachable. Of that I was sure. For all of his positive attributes, he was a very stoic figure. The leader of his clan, and a strong one at that, body and mind. I had only caught glimpses of his experiences earlier, but there had been some horrific traumas in his past that he had had to overcome, and clearly he had done so. He no longer cared about the petty human interactions of attraction and such. So he was eye-candy. But he was eye candy I cared about, already, because he had cared about me. I'd be a friend to him, if he turned out to be the friend I thought he was already, to me. Luke's friendship I was sure about, even so soon. Jake's would have to be figured out little by little.

We rode on in silence for some time. Suddenly, out of the blue, Jake interrupted my silent reverie.

"Does it still hurt? The…stab?"

I reflexively put a hand to my abdomen, but there was no pain there at all. There never had been, since I had been in this body. Only the memory of pain.

"No, it doesn't hurt. At all. But I remember the pain, in my old body. I remember the fear just before the guy attacked me." I didn't mean to continue, but now that I had started, it was like excising poison from a wound…and I couldn't stop. "He came running up behind me and just pushed me down, into the alley. I tried to get up, but he just pushed me down again. He threw me down and just…stabbed me with the knife. The blade pierced me, I could feel it going in before the pain started. Then he ran. And I just…bled." I paused, feeling that peculiar raw feeling after you think you might have just said too much. We rode in silence for a few minutes. I started to wonder about Jake's horrific injury. It was one thing to suffer a fatal wound, but to have to recover for months, at least, from a nearly fatal one? I was a little afraid, but since he had broached the topic of injuries already, and I felt the need to redirect my vulnerable feelings, I chanced it. "Did you still feel…your injury…after…after you transferred?" I was trying to be as delicate as possible about referring to the avatar program. Jake was silent for several moments and I was trying to think of something else to ask to change the subject when he responded at last.

"You saw that? At the Tree of Souls?" I nodded against his back, knowing he would feel the motion, too nervous to interrupt him with words. He sighed deeply, again. "That happened a long time ago. Back on Earth, way before Pandora. I was in combat and we were taking heavy fire. A shot ricocheted off my buddy's helmet, hit me in the back as we were retreating." Jake gave a short bark of laughter, a harsh sarcastic sound. "Bullet lodged in my spine. Never hit my vital organs. Saved my life. But I couldn't walk after that, not until…this place…" Jake trailed off and sighed again, running a hand over his face, his chin drooping toward his chest. I had pushed too far. I leaned to the side, trying to catch his eye over his shoulder and laid a hand on his thigh…I would have reached for his shoulder, but feared I would have fallen off if I tried to move my arms too far out of place.

"Jake, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry." I felt horrible for bringing up such clearly painful memories for him.

"Don't worry about it. Forget it." He stared straight ahead and we walked in heavy silence for a few minutes. When he spoke again, it was in a very quiet, deep voice as he turned his head to peer at me over his shoulder. "You know, I really wasn't serious when I said I'd throw you out of the clan for apologizing." He gave a tiny little grin. After a moment and registering what he had said, I grinned a little too. Jake's grin widened to a big smile and he chuckled, a much more pleasant rumble than the short bark of earlier. I smiled wider and chuckled too. Before long, we were both laughing in earnest. It felt good, the first time here that I had felt almost…normal.

Our chuckles ebbed and Jake sighed deeply again, a much nicer sound this time. As he exhaled he reached a hand up to his chest, where my hands were keeping me lodged in place, and laid his palm across my arms, squeezing just a little before letting go. I laid my cheek against his back and smiled a tiny little smile. I didn't even care if he felt it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

By the time we arrived back at home base, Hometree, they called it, the shadows on the ground were already quite long. The day had seemed very short to me, but then, I had no idea what time…if that was even applicable…I had woken up. The sun had already been streaming into the hollow when I had finally opened my eyes. Regardless, as we sauntered toward the clearing and Jake guided the pa'li to a halt, I wondered what was next. I guessed I'd be wondering that a lot in the days to come, and I admit, I was rather counting on my escorts to tell me what to do until I figured out what sort of life I would have here.

Luke was waiting for us when we arrived. "Holy crap you guys, Jake did you walk the whole way home?" Luke asked bluntly, but he was smiling as he did so. His gaze bounced back and forth between us both. I was immediately reminded what a genuinely nice guy he was, even in his teasing, and I smiled to see him again.

"No…" Jake replied, nettled. Truth be told, we did walk most of the way, only moving into a faster gait on the very clear sections of meadow, which were not very numerous. I just smiled a little more to myself. Men and their egos, I thought. Jake swung his leg over the creature's neck again, dismounting as he had before, and pulling his queue free as he dropped to the ground. He turned and offered me a hand as I followed his lead once again, and landed with much more grace this time, with Jake's steadying hand to help.

Luke came up to us and turned to me. "The evening meal is just about ready, if you're hungry. And if you're up for some mingling. Tomorrow, it's business as usual. We'll have to tend to our daily routines, and I'll be taking you with me and get you more familiar with life here in the tribe. Or…if you want to, we can take you back to the lab. It's your choice." Clearly Luke had not wanted to say that last bit, but I had no intention of returning to that lab anytime soon.

"No, I want to stay!" I assured him. And I was hungry. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to "mingle" with the others, but if Luke stayed with me, it would be alright. I doubted Jake would stay with us too, though. Surely as clan leader he had things to attend to. And so he did. Jake took his leave, bowing his head toward Luke, tossing a lopsided smile in my direction, then bounding away. I watched him go a little regretfully.

Luke took me to the center clearing, where the fire was lit now and scintillating aromas were wafting on the breeze. Oh yes, I was hungry. Luke did stay with me, perhaps encouraged to do so by my look of utter terror every time he stood up to retrieve another morsel or more drink. Some of the others spoke to him in Na'vi. Some just stared. I tried not to feel self conscious in their midst. When we'd eaten our fill, Luke turned to me again.

"Okay Jenna, Q&A time, if you want it. I'll gladly answer any questions I can for you, if you have 'em." He looked very serious and open at the same time. I gulped down my last drop of whatever it was we were drinking. I did have questions, but oh, where to start?

"Okay." I smiled, really actually very grateful to Luke, beyond words. "Thank you. For being so generous, and tolerant." Luke waved it away, but smiled wide, pleased. "Can we talk somewhere…else?" I gestured around me, still aware of more pairs of eyes than I could count flickering toward me and away again before I could see.

"Absolutely. Let's go." Luke stood and took my hand, helping me up. I couldn't ignore how…human…he acted, not among so many pure Na'vi. I would have to make that one of the questions. I wondered how long he had been here, as one of them. He seemed completely at home in either setting…among the Na'vi, or in the lab. Luke, at least, I could ask with a little less fear than when asking Jake, who I was hesitant to even say the word "human" around. I rather thought Luke would answer me diplomatically, if need be, but I didn't fear offending him. He led me back to the hollow I had woken up in. Whereas before it had been empty, there was now a leafy looking mat on the floor with a few lumpy bundles I guessed were pillows, or something similar. He gestured me over to the mat and indicated I should sit. I obeyed and found that it was really very comfortable. It was some sort of woven material, and slightly spongy. I was impressed with it's complexity.

Luke and I delved into conversation, a little haltingly at first, but eventually covering the basics. He told me what daily life consisted of (hunting and scouting for many of the members, caring for the children, cleaning and washing tasks, gathering fruit and vegetables). Some members had more specialized tasks, such as Mo'at and her daughter, Neytiri, who would also be Tsahik in time for her own clan, as she had moved on from the Omaticaya, this clan, and the celebrated singers and storytellers of the tribe had their own role in singing the songs of old and creating new ones. Some of the elders would weave all manner of objects, from clothing to bedding to elaborate musical instruments and even lamps, utilizing the natural bioluminescence of the plants in the forest. Luke gave me a quick and dirty overview of the circle of life on Pandora, the dangers of almost every living thing on the planet. I was amazed I had survived my flight from the lab, even if it had been just a short distance. Getting stung by that insect and lying still, not attracting any more attention, was about the best I could have hoped for, it sounded like. And then of course being found before I got eaten.

He explained a little about the avatar program, that it had been discontinued in any official capacity after Jake's crew came (he did not expand on that right away), but his own flight had been in transit at the time. He and a few others arrived about six months behind Jake and he had been here now for about eighteen months. Jake had been Oloeyktan for the duration. Luke's function had been hard core researcher and biologist before he arrived, and so there was a bit of drama, as he put it, when his ship had come in. No one on the ship had expected the almost complete dispersal of the RDA's operations. It was made clear to them immediately that the mining operation had ceased, and a skirmish had apparently ensued. It sounded to me like there had been bloodshed, but I didn't ask right then. Luke's ship was a sister ship to Jake's, carrying a small crew but plenty of supplies; no more were headed here from Earth until those two ships arrived back home again. No more ships would be coming at all, it sounded like.

Luke himself had eventually been given a choice: conduct his research as one of the human camp, or try his luck as Omaticaya. He told me he had hesitated, but had befriended Jake early on and it was ultimately his encouragement that led Luke into the tribe. Now, he still conducted his research, mostly on the interactions between plant and animal creatures, determining the source of connection between them with and without direct tsahaylu. It was apparently very complex and I believed that without any trouble at all. He also had several other projects in the works at the same time. He would study whatever was required of him and wherever he could apply his skill. On the more day-to-day side of tribe life, Luke was a skilled archer and pa'li rider, and he would hunt with the others when needed and taught the youngsters to ride the pa'li, as well. He did not have his own ikran, it turned out.

After awhile of good conversation and plenty of funny anecdotes, Luke told me directly about the relations between the Na'vi and the humans. Things were always a bit strained. He told me what had happened with Jake and the RDA all those months ago. I was shocked and angered. No wonder Jake reacted the way he did to anything human. He had been betrayed by his own species. Luke told me that Jake was not just Oloeyktan, either; he was also Toruk Macto, rider of the greatest beast in the sky, and one of only five others known to have ridden the great creature. He told me of Tsu'tey, who had been Oloeyktan before Jake, and how he had been killed in that battle. Tsu'tey's mate had been Neytiri, Mo'at's daughter, who had chosen to relocate to another clan after the battle, for her own reasons. Usually the Oloeyktan and Tsahik were a pair, bound to each other apparently, but in this case of course, Neytiri had her own choices to make in her new clan, and Jake had not chosen a mate at all. I asked Luke if that was unusual; a little more info wasn't a crime, surely? Luke had said it was not. It was only noteworthy because of the interruption of the usual custom, of the mated Oloeyktan and Tsahik.

He hesitated for a moment and his face fell before he continued. Then he told me more fully about the arrival of his ship. Apparently "skirmish" had been a very mild term for the bloodbath that had occurred. The ship had carried only about fifty people, all scientists and miners, a few avatar drivers and a handful of RDA officials. Luke didn't go into details, but apparently about half of them had been killed, along with a few Na'vi.

"It wasn't supposed to happen, Jake tried to stop it, but it all just escalated too fast. Humans and Na'vi just don't mix well," he said sadly.

"I'm so sorry Luke," I said, reaching out a supportive hand and grasping his shoulder, as he had so recently done for me. "Did you lose…anyone you were close to? Friends or, more than friends?" I hesitated before asking, but I thought it safe enough. I really felt for him, and I understood that losing half of your crew was a big enough blow to sustain.

"My fellow avatar drivers were good people, and of course I knew all the other researchers who had come with us. We did lose some really good people. Yes, they were my friends. The worst of it was just arriving here and being thrown right into the middle of all this. Our ship had no communication with the planet until just a couple of days before we landed; you know, we couldn't communicate while we were powering down from near-light-speed travel." I had heard about that. Communication was apparently pretty easy across the stars, but there were tricky little caveats about it when trying to communicate with ships in flight, or when changing their velocity. It sounded like there was just the exact wrong timing going on at that time.

"So anyway, we regrouped." He sighed deep for a moment before continuing again. "Our focus shifted a little bit, but we were still able to carry on the bulk of our original research. We just figured it out as we went along." Luke apparently shared his time between the tribe and the lab. He had plenty on his plate, it sounded like, and I was even more grateful that he was taking the time to be here with me like this.

I could tell it was getting late; the sounds of the tribe were diminishing and all was growing very still and dark. So I would at least have an idea of what the morning would bring, I asked Luke one last question, "So what happens tomorrow? I mean, what should I be doing? I don't want to cause any trouble for anyone, I know this whole thing is a bit of a wrench in the works…" but Luke smiled and shushed my worries.

"I have stuff cooking in the lab that won't be ready for a week yet, so you're going to stay with me. If that's alright." I smiled at this, and Luke, emboldened, continued. "I'll start showing you around, where things are, what we do with ourselves on a daily basis. The forest is a harsh environment and if you're going to stay, you'll need to learn at least how to defend yourself, so basically, I'll start teaching you to take care of yourself out here. And we'll just take it from there." I nodded, liking the sound of it. I was intimidated by it all, and a little ashamed for being so glad that Luke was going to lead me around by the nose for a little while. I sighed and gave a sheepish smile to Luke, who wasn't fooled.

"Jenna, what is it? Please tell me."

"I just…well, I just feel so helpless, so useless. An unexpected guest, or like an infant, you having to look after me all the time…can't even get dressed by myself…" I let my words dissolve into incoherence.

"Jenna! You expected to have departed this world, this universe, at this point, for heaven's sake, take it easy on yourself!" He smiled incredulously at me, shaking his head a little and taking both of my shoulders in his hands. "Go easy on yourself, okay? Pandora has a way of turning things upside down for everyone arriving here. We really will figure it out as we go along. Every one of us has gone through this, every human, every avatar. It will be alright. I'll make sure of it. Okay?"

"Okay," I said quietly.

"Really okay? Don't sugar coat it, tell me." Luke wasn't going to let me get away with hiding my feelings anymore, I could see. I inhaled deeply and let it out slow.

"Yes. Okay. I'm rattled. I'm shaken. I'm scared. But I have a second chance to live, right? So…here we go." And I smiled a little more surely.

"Okay." Luke gave me a firm squeeze on my shoulders. He leaned forward and planted a brief, sweet kiss on my forehead and then he stood up, stretching his limbs in the moonlight and untangling himself from the crouched position he had sat in for so long, talking with me. I wouldn't have guessed he was a researcher, just looking at him…with a knife slung around his finely tuned torso and tribal adornments around his arms and neck, he looked the part of his hunter and pa'li rider role, completely. I tried to imagine him in a lab coat…nope, didn't work. That chest would never fit into a lab coat, I thought, watching the man roll his shoulders back. That was not the body of a man who spent his days indoors, in a lab.

"If you need anything, Jenna, I'm right…" he pointed at a spot just to the left, "…over there. In the hollow across the way. I never liked sleeping up in the trees." He smiled big and I watched him go. I wondered vaguely if he was afraid of heights. I followed his progress across the clearing, making sure of where he would be, just in case. Sure enough, there really was only one other hollow to the left that was clear from where I was. Good. I could remember that. He had said…sleeping in the trees? Really? I looked up and yes indeed, there were hammocks strewn throughout the canopy, and I could very faintly discern bodies in each one, some larger and containing more bodies, maybe families. Wow, I thought. It was a beautiful sight, the people taking their rest in the sky, under the moonlight. I was starting to really like it here.

…

…

…

As promised, Luke met me the next morning shortly after I awoke. I suspected he had been listening for my movement, since he had poked his head into the hollow only a few minutes after I began to stir. I had slept pretty well. The mat was very comfortable if not luxurious, and I had woken up much easier this time, feeling much more lucid as I felt the sleep fade from my body. A much more normal wake-up, that was for sure. We began in earnest. That first week, Luke took me everywhere…into the forest, to the river, into caves and valleys, up into trees, just everywhere. As we went along, he taught me what to look for in the forest, showed me the different plants they often used as food or medicine as we crossed their paths, and how to avoid trouble with the most volatile species. He was a good teacher, and with so much repetition, I quickly became accustomed to the different kinds of plants and could recognize which ones were likely to be trouble, which ones likely to be food, and so on, even without being able to identify each one yet. I was learning the patterns. He taught me a few basic words in Na'vi, and after a few days I started recognizing the phrases the people used. Many of the people spoke some English, which was not surprising since Jake spoke English just as much as he spoke Na'vi, and they made an honest effort to communicate with me. They were patient, as a whole, and seemed pretty accepting of my presence. I wondered if that was the Oloeyktan's doing. I started to befriend some of the more elderly women and began to learn how to weave strips of dried bark and other such materials into baskets and bowls. It was really rather rewarding and I enjoyed the intricacy of it. I started to adapt to the forest environs and keep a low profile out in the open. Luke even taught me how to handle a staff (I wasn't ready for the knife…my own decision) and I was beginning to get the hang of swinging it around me effectively without hitting everything within range. He was patient and encouraging, even through the occasional accidental whacks.

On the days when Luke had to return to the lab to check on his projects, he left me with the older women and they continued teaching me to weave and to speak the language. I played with the children and really had a lot of fun with them. I would try and talk with the other members of the clan at mealtimes, and spoke with Jake every few days as well. He was an active hunter and would usually not be seen at home during the day. Once or twice over the first few weeks, he took me with him and I would learn a bit about the hunting process, the gift of life the animals gave to the people. I started to understand about the endless flow of energy through all of Pandora…I could feel it, more so every day.

I got to know Jake better, and found that he was a lot of fun to hang around with. He was serious and imposing as clan leader, but as a person, just going about in life, he smiled a lot and seemed to enjoy his world a great deal. He enjoyed sharing every little thing with me, continuing to teach me with every new thing he pointed out, every little scrap of information he shared.

About three weeks into my new life, I was finally feeling comfortable in my own skin. I could communicate well enough to navigate on my own amongst the people, and was feeling more confidant out in the forest. I felt vibrant, and so much more alive than I ever had back on Earth. I found I didn't miss it much at all. Less and less, in fact. But I did continue to feel the very human-like appeal of my primary guide, Luke, and the strong-but-soft Oloeyktan. Luke was spending more time at the lab as his current project revved up, and he was away every few days now. I spent more time with the other members of the clan, even Mo'at herself, learning a bit more about the enigma that was Eywa.

One morning, I met Luke at the fire-pit, as usual, and we gathered our meal. Luke told me his project was finally stabilizing a bit and explained some of the details to me. He was cultivating insects that would digest metal and excrete it as beneficial minerals, in an effort to eliminate some of the scrap metal and detritus left behind from the RDA. It sounded interesting, and I could tell he was very invested in it. The final stage would happen quickly and would need to be monitored closely for a few days in a row, tiny adjustments to be accomplished in the final maturation of the insects. As he spoke, Jake came up and crouched down with us, clearly having finished his own meal. He and Luke talked back and forth about Luke's research for a bit before it came time to part company for the day.

"Luke, I'll take Jenna with me today…" Jake offered, knowing his clansman was debating between tending to me for the next few days (as I continued to stoutly avoid the lab) and keeping his eye close on his long-awaited experiment.

"Well, things are settling down at the lab now, I'm sure Anne and Norm can take the project for the next few days…or maybe today anyway…to finish it up. It isn't too tricky from here on out, for the most part." Luke sounded like he was trying to convince himself that his project would be okay without him, at least for one more day. I knew he would eventually have to oversee the process, himself, though, and also that this project had been brewing for some time already. He wanted to see it through. I thought it was rather cute, and I was tremendously flattered he wanted to spend the time with me so much, but I didn't want him to miss the last phase of his experiment, either.

"You don't need to compromise your research, brother. Go, we'll be alright until it's done." Jake's voice was calm, but his eyes had a glint in them and my insides swirled a little at the thought of spending a few days with Jake. As sweet as Luke was being, I wasn't really sure who's company I would prefer…I really enjoyed any day with either one of them, nursing my secret crushes.

Luke tensed a little and protested, very gently. "No, I'm sure it will be fine in their hands." He met Jake's eye with a slightly stern look of his own. Uh oh. I had experienced the tension between them before, but it had always been very subtle, and only ever in passing. This wasn't passing.

Jake drew himself up to his full impressive height; I took a sly step back, feeling the tension in the air between the two men. Jake swallowed hard, then spoke in a quiet, almost dangerous tone. "Go. Finish your research. We'll see you when it's done." Whoa, was he pulling rank? It certainly seemed that way, and Luke didn't seem to dare contradict him after Jake had addressed him in such a steely tone.

I watched the men's faces from the corner of my eye. I saw Luke's face turn defiant, saw his forehead crease in a frown and his eyes widen a touch, his lips parted just a hair. He seemed angry and incredulous, like Jake had slapped him across the face. Jake just lowered his chin and glared at him. For just a moment, I thought Luke might actually strike at him, but Jake tilted his head and I saw his body tense, and Luke immediately backed off, almost imperceptibly. They both glared at each other for another moment before Luke's gaze dropped to the ground and he sighed a harsh, deep sigh. He had accepted defeat. When he looked back up, he still looked defiant but controlled. Luke turned to me, gave me an apologetic half-smile and nodded before turning sharply and heading off toward the small herd of pa'li. Jake and I stood watching him go as he strode across the clearing, quickly vanishing around a bend toward the horse-like creatures.

When he had gone, I heard Jake sigh deeply and turned cautiously to look at him fully. He still looked toward the forest where Luke had vanished, but his shoulders had dropped and his bearing had softened considerably. He looked over at me and searched my face for a moment. I was still rather stunned at the encounter between the two men. Jake sighed again and turned away, walking in the opposite direction Luke had gone.

"We'll leave midmorning. Shortly," he tossed back over his shoulder as he walked away. I stood shocked for just a moment before turning and walking off. Leaving midmorning was typical for hunting with Jake, so I would occupy myself for the short time in between, trying to reconcile the behavior I'd witnessed between these two supposed friends…did Jake really want to spend the time with me, that much?

I went to give Luke a more proper sendoff and found him prepping Aye'y for the ride and another to keep his mount company while he stayed at the lab for the duration. He smiled wide when he saw me, no trace of irritation on his face. He seemed genuinely pleased that I had come to see him off and he squeezed my hand with such a gorgeous smile as he sat upon his mount that I almost wished Jake hadn't sent him away so decidedly. Neither one of us mentioned it, though, and Luke headed off for his lab without another thought for the Oloeyktan.

I was weaving a simple basket back near the cool fire pit when I heard the familiar thumping of footsteps approaching close behind me. I turned and smiled at Jake, hoping his mood had improved. It was indeed the Oloeyktan, and he looked in much better spirits. He smiled wide, his fangs glinting a little at the corners of his mouth, bow in hand and ready to go. My heart fluttered a little under his smile. I hadn't known him very long but had become close enough to call him a friend at least, in the short time I'd been there. I was comfortable now going out with Jake into the woods, just the two of us. I had been really quite intimidated by him at first, but the slightly scared feeling had given way to a slightly thrilled sensation now, having seen his softer side, and really liking it. I had a full on crush going, I had to admit. And I didn't think I was the only one. Several of the young women in the tribe seemed rather more affectionate toward Jake than was…typical…among the Na'vi. Flirting didn't seem very commonplace, but there were little things…a flick of the tail, a lingering gaze, plenty of gifts and tokens, slices of fruit mostly, delicately cut and seasoned. I was never the jealous sort, and I wasn't really part of the tribe yet anyway, so I paid it no mind.

I quietly nurtured my crush on my own time. For both of them, actually…because if I had to admit it, I had a crush on Luke, too. I didn't think it had anything to do with them both being, well…former-humans. No, I had gotten to know them pretty well over the past weeks and spent most of my days in either one of their company. I was very comfortable with them. I had noticed lately, actually, that although Luke had been pulled away frequently for his research at the lab, that he had begun acting a little possessive of me. If he was with the clan, he was with me. I rather wondered if he had a bit of a crush on me, too…I was terribly flattered at the idea. Come to think of it, he had been most possessive when we were in Jake's company, nothing terribly obvious, but little things…tending to me type of things, never smothering or nagging. Considering Jake's behavior that morning, I wondered if Jake had noticed it too. Maybe he had decided Luke was getting too close to me. It was his clan after all, and up to him to keep the peace. I felt I knew Jake well enough, and that seemed well within the realm of his character. That must have been it. That's all.

I stood up and brushed myself down, retrieved my staff, and followed Jake out into the forest. I stayed close to his heels as we ventured into the heavier brush. We were heading in a new direction today, it looked like. I figured Jake would tell me more when we reached a good spot to scout. We walked a long way and finally reached a small flat spot just next to a giant tree trunk that overlooked a small meadow, full of bright greens, blues, and purples…the colors of the swaying grasses. I could see a stream trickling through it and brilliantly yellow flowers growing along its meager banks. Jake paused next to the tree and ushered me into the tiny groove in its middle. I complied, as silently as I could, and crouched low, close to the trunk. Jake squeezed right in next to me, pushing me bodily closer to the rough bark. I realized it was a tight fit for two people to remain concealed there and didn't object. Speaking the truth, I wouldn't have objected even if the space had been big enough for four, but still I wondered why he was snuggling in so close.

Jake nestled right in next to me, hip to hip, and let his arm drape across my back. His massive shoulders fit much better that way, slightly titled as they were, but it was hard to concentrate on the meadow with him effectively embracing me there. Still, he was only staring intently into the grasses, searching the edges of the forest carefully, so I tried to do the same.

"Watch over there…" Jake whispered, and pointed to a spot I imagined was a little darker across the meadow…a tiny trail through the underbrush into the trees. I stared intently with him for several minutes. Nothing happened. I glanced at Jake and saw his eyes turn toward me, then back to the meadow without turning his head. I knew Jake would stay poised like this for some time waiting for his prey, so I eased my crouching into a kneeling position as quietly as I could and waited. After a couple more minutes, Jake leaned slowly over and whispered even more quietly in my ear.

"These creatures come out from the forest to eat those blooms, around this time of day, at highest sun when the flowers are fully open. They're high in nutrients, but they only grow in exposed areas like this meadow. The animals are extremely alert and wary. We have to wait them out." He leaned away slowly again, and I picked up on the idea that the animals, whatever they were, may already have spotted us moving into position.

I couldn't raise myself up to Jake's ear without causing any undue scuffling sounds, I thought, so I laid a hand on his knee, getting his attention. He turned to me slowly again, but his eyes flickered quickly to my face. When he had leaned his ear down to my lips, I whispered as quietly as I could, "Are they watching for us, too? Now?" Jake smiled and nodded slightly. He seemed pleased that I understood.

We waited there for some time, maybe half an hour or so, maybe much longer, before I saw Jake's ears perk in the corner of my eye. I looked again at the possible trail…and saw the grasses sway, just a little. Suddenly, two tiny ears and a broad forehead popped up above the reeds, just briefly, before ducking back down again. I had tensed a little at the sudden appearance and Jake's arm behind my back had squeezed a little, presumably to steady me and keep me silent. I hushed myself, and kept watching. Before long, the grasses rustled again, a few feet closer to the blooms. The ears and eyes again. Another moment. Then a quick chirp. After another few minutes of complete silence and stillness, the grasses rustled again, in more places, and here and there I saw ears and eyes pop above the tall grasses and duck back down again quickly. Finally, the creature emerged at the water's edge. They were large, squat animals, mostly brown and dark green, but had streaks of deep purple running down their sides, reminding me of the capybaras of Earth with more colorful coats. They looked almost furry with a thick shag coat, but that wasn't the norm for Pandoran creatures, I knew. I looked more closely and saw that they were actually covered in sheets of something like spines or thin feathers, and it was the outer edges of these that shown iridescent in the bright sun. They actually blended in quite well with the waving grasses and reeds, texture and color wise.

The creatures munched on the blossoms, as Jake had said, and finally, Jake began to slowly maneuver his bow around in front of him. It almost seemed a shame to kill one of these beautiful, and really rather cute, creatures, but I knew Jake did not kill indiscriminately. This was a hunt, after all, and I would have to accept his lead. He held the bow horizontally, keeping his profile low, as he very slowly fitted an arrow to the string. He began to pull the arrow back and the bow made a tiny, almost inaudible creak, even from my position right next to him. All the same, every pair of eyes and ears in the meadow shot up into the air with a couple tiny chirps. Jake did not seem phased, but kept perfectly still for a moment before pulling the string back a tiny bit more, creating another tiny creak while the animals were still very alert. The creatures made another couple of chirps and seemed to look at each other before about half of them returned to their munching. Jake hadn't been kidding; these animals were hyper attuned to their surroundings. But he seemed to know just exactly how to lull them back into at least an uneasy rest again. He didn't freeze, he didn't panic; he just kept doing what he was doing, slowly, as if to imitate the forest sounds, the occasional creak of a branch in the breeze. And that's when I noticed…he actually did only pull the string further when the breeze blew through the leaves, against our faces. I was terrifically impressed with his skill, and his absolute dedication to the hunt. I surmised he would only get one shot, and he intended to make it count.

At long last, Jake had his arrow fully knocked and ready to shoot. The arm that held the arrow pulled back taut against the string was right by my head now, and I could see the tiny tremors of Jake's muscles as he fought to hold it steady, not allowing it to slip even a centimeter. He had been gradually hauling back the string and holding it steady for the better part of an hour, I guessed. He slowly positioned the bow and arrow along his line of sight, though he leaned his head down, slowly, to keep from having to lift the bow too high into plain sight. The creatures continued to munch and pop their heads up and down and give an occasional chirp as they remained on the alert, but continued grazing on the blossoms. They knew something was here, but clearly did not perceive us as danger, not yet.

Finally, Jake had his eye on the line of the arrow. He made a tiny tapping sound with his tongue, a very low "Ta!" noise. I saw all of the creatures heads pop up again and in the split second before they fled, Jake chose his target and let his arrow fly. It hit true to his mark and only the one animal remained while the others vanished in a remarkably rapid rushing of grasses and chirps. Jake turned an exultant face to me before standing up, slowly, again, but I suspected it had more to do with the position he had held for so long. Jake stood up fully and blew out a long breath, rolling his shoulders and lifting each leg high to stretch out his hips before he bounded forward into the meadow to tend the fallen animal. I tried to follow suit but found I needed a few extra steps before I could bound after him.

I knew by now the prayer that was said to all fallen prey, and Jake was muttering his thanks to the creature and to Eywa as I reached him. He looked up at me approaching and spoke, still rather hushed, "Let's move this quickly." I helped him move the animal from the clearing back into the woods were we had come from…it was quite a bit larger than it had appeared from the groove in the tree…and we kept moving for a few hundred feet further before Jake led us into a small protective copse of trees, where he laid the creature down again. I was a little grossed out helping him move the poor dead thing, but Jake handled it with such reverence that it was hard to feel upset about it for long.

I noticed now that Jake had not even properly stowed his knife or arrow before we had rushed off. Before I could even ask, though, he spoke, in a normal tone once again.

"The rest of the herd would never return to that spot if we had lingered there for long. They're very intelligent, and very very wary. We can only hunt this location once every few months if we want to keep from driving them away for good." He spoke quickly as he cleaned his knife and began wrapping the animal properly for the journey home. "These animals are a rare gift to us; the nutrition they provide is second to none and their pelts are absolutely unique on Pandora. Everything this animal gives us will be used to its fullest. Eywa has smiled on our hunt, Jenna." He was proud of his kill today, and I was proud for him. I felt very privileged to have been in his company for this.

"How often then does someone bring one of these home? Not very often, I imagine." I asked, curious now and catching Jake's enthusiasm. He grinned wide, his eyes shining.

"About once every other year." His grin turned into an exultant smile. "I've missed on the last two attempts." I was stunned and my face showed it. Jake seemed greatly mollified by this. As my incredulity passed, I recognized how easily the hunt could fail, and if the creatures were so sensitive so as to vacate the area after a hunt, well, a kill once every other year seemed pretty reasonable after all. I was impressed and I told him so.

"That was extraordinary, Jake. You showed some seriously impressive patience and, well, some amazing control to hold the bow that steady for that long." Jake preened a little as he tucked his things into place, smiling and looking very pleased. Gosh, he really was adorable.

I made a face and hissed a little as I knelt down again by his side. My body still had not fully recovered from holding the same position for so long. "Ooh, that was a long time to stay like that. Makes it even more impressive." But Jake didn't respond to the praise this time. Instead he put his things down and shifted over to me.

"Here, stretch out your legs," and he pulled a leg out from under me, pulling it forward as I sat down properly. I repositioned the other one, wondering what he was up to. "What hurts the most?" he asked.

I didn't have to think for long; they were grousing pretty good at me. "Hips and ankles, mostly." Jake didn't say anything, just straddled my knees and ran a hand up each of my thighs. I was momentarily speechless as he laid his hands on me without any trace of hesitation or shame. Or any indication that he was asking permission. He just reached for my hips and pressed on them, gently describing small circles with his palms and keeping the pressure on. My myriad of feelings fled as he manipulated the sore muscles and tendons in the joints. I grimaced and sighed as the massage restored circulation to the area. I could feel the stiffness melting away. Soon, Jake took his hands from my hips and scooched down my legs, sitting cross legged at my feet. He took each leg individually and worked his fingers around my ankles in smooth, firm circles. I kept sighing and breathing deep, letting his massage do its work, trying not to think too much about his warm skin on mine, his strong, agile fingers working into my sore tendons. I couldn't help but watch him as he maneuvered my limbs around with his supple hands. His glance kept flickering between my ankle and my face as he worked, giving me a very pleasant little smile from time to time.

He spent just a few minutes on each ankle, but they felt so much better for it. "You could easily twist an ankle or pull something worse if you tried to walk home on sore muscles and joints," he said in a low, thrumming voice, keeping his eyes low. It was a very nice sound.

"Thank you," I said, softly, really meaning it. The few minutes of rubbings had really helped tremendously, I felt already. And I had very much enjoyed his touch. Jake nodded at the ground, smiling, accepting my gratitude. "What about you, though, you did all the work." Jake's head snapped up with a surprised grin. Turn about was fair play, after all, I thought, keeping the wicked grin inside my mind at the thought of laying my hands so intimately on his own body.

"Oh, I'm alright." He cleared his throat. "You ready to move?" And he hefted himself to his feet once again. What did that mean? I wondered. Did he not want me touching him so intimately, then? He could touch, but not be touched? I tried not to feel affronted as Jake held out a hand to help me up. It was hard to stay miffed when he was smiling like that, so I let it go. It was whatever it was. I had liked his attentions, and that was good enough for me. And he certainly seemed lithe enough as he got up, himself, if a little less spry than usual.

I helped him gather up our belongings and the creature, and we headed home again. My body was much happier and my gratitude toward Jake was renewed with every leap or odd step as we weaved our way through the trees. He hadn't been making that up; I would easily have injured myself trying to maneuver through the forest on sore legs. We made our way slowly back home.

When we got back, there was a great deal of excitement and fanfare as the people came to greet their Oloeyktan and learned of his catch. It took no time at all before the people were preparing a ceremony to honor the creature. Jake was beaming; he was proud for his clan, he kept no accolades for himself. I hadn't known him very long, but I thought to myself I had never seen him so pleased. In the midst of their preparations, the other clansmen and women came up to both Jake and me to lay a hand on the shoulder and offer heartfelt thanks and other such sentiments. I stuck close to Jake for a little while, not really sure what I ought to be doing with myself, but feeling a little uncomfortable with the praise the others were offering. I hadn't done anything but observe. So I slowly extricated myself from Jake's company, as he was pretty occupied conversing with his clan anyway, and wandered off a little ways to wait and see how I might make myself useful. One of fellow weavers caught me, and offered her thanks to me, too. Feeling a little more familiar with her, and knowing she spoke at least a little English, I decided to set the record straight, with one person, at least.

"I actually didn't do much of anything, really. I only observed. The Oloeyktan's accomplishment was due to his magnificent patience and attention. He has brought a great honor to the clan, and I was privileged to bear witness, that is all." I tried to speak respectfully while still deflecting her praise. I knew the people considered personal accomplishments as a credit to everyone in the tribe, and I didn't want to appear to be brushing that off. It would have been an insult to do so. But much to my surprise, the older woman shook her head gently and smiled warmly at me, taking my elbow and pulling me a little closer.

"You were muse. Gave him confidence. Strength. To accomplish this task. Jenna, you are gift, also." I was shocked into speechlessness. I was Jake's muse? He accomplished this tremendous feat because I was there? I wasn't so sure about that. But she had also called me a gift…I was stunned that someone thought so highly of me, just an outsider, and a weird one at that, and I was deeply touched by her words. She understood more English than she spoke, and she had put a lot of effort into forming her words. She was still holding my arm as I reeled through my stunned haze, not really sure of what to say.

"Bring bowl you weave. For ceremony, for Oloeyktan." She smiled encouragingly and nudged me in the direction of my hollow to retrieve the bowl I had been working on at our last weaving party. It was more ornate than my previous ones, much more complicated, and not really up to par, but she would have no disobedience, I knew, so I retrieved the bowl and meandered back to the gathering. I thought maybe she had vanished, so I could quietly slip it back into hiding and be saved the embarrassment of presenting such an amateurish attempt at a great work of art to this tremendous ceremony. But I had no such luck. She was waiting for me and her face lit up as she saw that I carried the bowl. She was a very nice woman and I respected her a great deal, even more so when she gave me an understanding smile and took the bowl from me (I was admittedly trying to conceal it in my arms and kind of collapsing in humiliation already), and brought it to Jake who was conferring with the other clan members, getting preparations ready for the ritual. I saw the woman speak to Jake and the others. I saw her indicate the bowl in her hands, indicate herself, and then look over at me. She spoke in Na'vi, and although I was close enough to hear, she spoke so quickly and quietly I didn't catch any of what she was saying.

I was burning with embarrassment as I stood just out of range, but all of a sudden Jake smiled an enormous smile, and much to my surprise, so did everyone else gathered around the kindling in the pit. The woman turned and gave me a satisfied nod, and moved off to help with other preparations. Jake turned as well, and came right to me, smiling. I was speaking my apology before he even reached me.

"She insisted, I really didn't mean to bring my beginner weaving attempts to such an important ritual…" but Jake just laughed kindly.

"Jenna, typically, the first slices of cooked meat are to be collected and served from one communal bowl, a special symbol indicating unity within the tribe…" I was slightly horrified that everyone would be seeing my bowl, now. "…and the fact that it was made by you, who participated in the hunt, makes it the perfect symbol for this ritual. You'll get it back later, or you can leave it to be shared again. It's up to you."

"But Jake, I didn't participate…" I said very quietly and calmly. Surely Jake would understand. But instead he just leaned closer to my ear and thrummed in that low, clear voice.

"You did. More than you think." Well, now Jake himself had stunned me to silence. "The bowl is beautiful. It's perfect. Really." He left me with a brilliant smile that exposed the tips of his fangs again, and turned back to the preparations. I faltered a bit, momentarily lost as to what I should be doing with myself. What had just happened? Me, a muse? Had he just implied that, too? I smiled a twitchy, nervous smile before realizing I was still just standing there like an idiot. I finally got my feet to move and went to find the weaving women, who would no doubt be readying other serving bowls for food and drink. That was an easy task. No overthinking required. Just perfect for my highflying mind at the moment.

The ritual was beautifully simple. The preparation had taken a remarkably short amount of time, I had thought, but really it was just a matter of giving honor to the creature and Eywa, and then, well, carving. Delicately, though, to preserve as much as possible before roasting. My bowl didn't seem to be causing any horrific interruptions with its poor quality, either, so I found myself enjoying the ceremony and festivity that came along with it. It was much like any other meal, really, with a little more formal speech making and a little more singing than usual.

After the meal, as the elders were carefully preserving what was left behind, I meandered off toward my hollow to weave some more. I had decided to let the bowl stay with the rest, since it seemed the polite and expected thing to do now that it had been so honored, and was thinking of a new pattern I wanted to try for another one. Maybe a smaller one this time. Less easily ensnared by mass ritualistic use. Luke would usually have accompanied me for conversation after the evening meal, but Jake had his own duties to attend to, I knew, so the standard procedure when I had spent the day with him was to part ways after dinner.

I was content concentrating on the pattern for my next bowl…getting it started was always the trickiest part…when I heard the soft thumping of feet moving toward me. I held my spot firmly in my fingers then looked up to see Jake approaching. This day had been surreal enough already; if I had the tiniest little vision of Jake grabbing my weaving out of my hands and smothering me with lips and body back into my hollow, who could blame me?

Instead, he crouched down nearby and smiled briefly. "We're going to head out early tomorrow morning. I'll come find you shortly after dawn."

"Wow, why so early? If I can ask…"

"We're going to head out quite a bit further than we've been before, so we'll need the early start."

"Okay. I'll be ready." I smiled at Jake and he smiled back. I liked the Jake that smiled a lot. He felt more like Luke when he smiled, more friendly, more accessible. I felt a pang of guilt as I watched Jake amble away. I hadn't thought of Luke once that day while in Jake's company. I wasn't bound to Luke in any way, but he was a wonderful friend to me, and I felt disloyal, as if I had forgotten him. I made a conscious effort to think of Luke and wonder how his research was going, and honestly hoping it was coming to a good conclusion. I still felt funny about the way he had departed that morning, the tensions between him and Jake, and his beautifully genuine face as I saw him ride off. As I sat weaving, I remarked to myself that he would have enjoyed the ritual tonight. He would be sad to have missed it, but there would be other ceremonies, for other reasons. I weaved, and I missed him. I would be glad to see him again in a few days.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I did have a vague fear that I would oversleep the next morning, alarm clocks not really being common place among the tribe and dawn being very, very early for me, but I found that I was awake, if still a little sleepy, right around sunrise anyway. I was mostly ready by the time Jake came to find me. I hadn't heard him padding up to my hollow this time, but turned around when the rays of sunlight vanished from the room, blocked by his form.

"Good morning," he said, grinning. I nodded and smiled back, blinking a little lazily still. "Let's grab something to eat and we'll be off, okay?"

"Okay!" I tried to sound as chipper as possible, and it came out with acceptable optimism, which was what I had been going for anyway.

We ate pretty quickly and headed right out into the woods on foot. I followed Jake on and on; I wanted to talk to him some more after the previous evening and the, well, fairly interesting turn of events, but Jake would pause his stride only long enough to allow me to catch up. He didn't set a grueling pace, but it was persistent. We talked only a little, mostly pleasantries. We had gone quite a distance when we came upon a slightly less dense patch of forest. There was quite a cacophony of creature sounds, a good indication that all was well, no predators nearby. Here, Jake finally paused and stayed put when I caught up to him.

"Yesterday, we stood still. Today we move," he said to me before I had a chance to speak up myself. He laid his bow on the ground and gestured for my staff, as well, which he also laid next to his bow. "Alright, I know Luke has been teaching you how to handle yourself against trouble in the forest, how to defend yourself. We're going to be heading into more dangerous territory, and I need to see what you've got."

My jaw dropped. Oh, surely not. I had seen the sparring sessions between the Na'vi. "You…you want me to fight you?" I said in a squeaky whimper, somewhat alarmed at the ridiculous notion. Thankfully, Jake just chuckled a little and shook his head.

"No, I just want you to go through some basics. See where you're at. I'm not going to bring you into danger unprepared." I didn't feel very confidant going through the exercises Luke had been teaching me in front of Jake, but I understood his concern and I knew if I could let go of my self-consciousness here, with Jake, I would be that much better off using even the rudimentary skills I had when I really needed them, which, on Pandora, was only a matter of time. That time could be today. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"Okay. Staff," and he pointed to the ground. I looked down at it and went to grab it when a strong arm wrapped around my middle, catching me before I could reach it. "Eyes on the forest," he reminded me gently. Stupid Jenna. Of course, I knew that already. I glanced around and when I was sure of my surroundings, including the location of my staff on the ground, I crouched down and reached for it blind, properly this time. I stood up, holding it ready, not sure what was coming but keeping an alert, neutral position. Jake made it easy on me, going through the motions of basic strikes and defensive swings, directing me where to hit and providing different scenarios to respond to. Luke had done the same, so it was familiar to me already and I quickly adapted to Jake's instruction, easily imagining the situations Jake described and trying to react accordingly. Jake gave me a few pointers, on occasion shifting my position slightly for a stronger or longer stroke. At one point, he moved in close.

"Here, when you're hoping to redirect an attack mid-air, you'll need to put a little more energy into your strike. Put your body into it. Like this…" He slid behind me and reached a hand up under my right arm, holding me under the armpit, effectively. I was a little amused as he very carefully kept his fingertips off my skin, as they were dangerously close to brushing my breast. He also put a hand on my left hip, but planted that one firmly. Hands in place, he continued. "…and, target in flight, strike…slow." As I went through the motion slowly, he pulled my upper body back with his right hand, holding my hip firmly in place with his left. As I swung the staff through the air, he pushed my shoulder forward and twisted my torso into the movement, guiding me through the motion that would help me "put my whole body into it". I felt a little off balance and could tell I would have to move my feet for the real swing, which I had no doubt would come next. Preemptively, I lifted my right leg and lunged slightly forward as I completed the swing, Jake guiding my upper body and holding my hip firm.

"Good!" he remarked when I moved my leg. I was pleased to have guessed right. I was beginning to trust my instincts, and his encouragement was helping. The movement complete, Jake let go of me (as he was concentrating, I couldn't help but notice that his fingers had in fact made contact…I wasn't terribly offended). "Okay. Now, again. A real strike, and put your body into it."

I prepared, remembering how Jake had moved me around, and swung the staff with some energy, lunging forward into my imaginary foe to catch it in mid-air and levering my body forward with the motion of the staff. It cracked against the rocky ground like a gunshot. "Whoa!" I was astounded. Just the slight shift in my body had made a huge difference in the energy I could put into the strike. I turned toward Jake and saw him chuckling and smiling.

"Very nice," he thrummed. I beamed. We continued the exercises, practicing with different shifts of tension and release as I gained confidence. Luke had taught me well, but Jake was helping me refine it, which could mean the difference between life and death in a hairy situation. I was feeling good and with all of Jake's help, I was wondering what he was like, in action. He didn't participate in the sparring sessions very frequently, it seemed.

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you show me…I mean, would you be willing to show me what you would do? As someone who's actually skilled with this stuff?" As with every question, he seemed to consider carefully before responding. I wondered what had happened to make him so guarded. But soon enough…

"Okay. Give me a scenario." I gave him three viperwolves attacking from an elevated position. Jake nodded, staff on the ground at his feet where I had left it. I backed up to give him space, and suddenly he moved. He swooped to the ground, grabbed the staff in one hand and brought it up to his other as he skipped over the ground, spun, swinging the staff around him in a huge arc, slamming it to the ground at an angle as he landed simultaneously. His first hit. No sooner had the staff hit dirt than he had it swinging up again, back and around behind him as he bent backward with it, bringing it around again with such force that it whistled through the air. I could see him swing his considerable mass into the swing as he brought it around in front again. His second hit. Finally, he let the staff swing around behind him again, but this time he let his arm swing over his head as he took two enormous steps forward. As the staff came around again, he got his second hand on it again and twirled it like a pinwheel so what had been the butt-end of it came around to crack the ground so hard I could feel the impact from where I stood. Jake had only been in motion for about five seconds.

"Holy crap," I whispered. Jake stood and came toward me, breathing only a little more heavily. "That was impressive. And scary," I said in a low voice but with a smile on my lips. Jake tilted his head and gave a lilting smile. It was just as dangerous as that swinging staff had been in his hands.

"Pandora doesn't give you a lot of second chances. You and I…" he bopped me on the nose with one finger, "…are walking contradictions." He handed me my staff, somehow still intact after the beating it had taken in Jake's hands, and reached down for his bow, moving on across the almost-clearing. "Ready to move?" he called as he kept walking.

I jogged after him, calling after him, "So you think I'll do okay? In the woods, if I need to?" Jake turned and gave me that lilting smile again, a glint in his eye and a hint of fang behind his lips.

"Yes." I swooned a little and couldn't reply.

I followed him swiftly, catching up to him and settling into his easy pace as I wondered how this man kept catching me so off guard, throwing me into such a speechless jelly-like state. It had to be the fangs, I thought. Or no, maybe the smile. The head tilt, that definitely got me going. Or those thighs…

My silent musings aside, we spent a very pleasant day seeking out creatures I had only heard about up until that point. Jake felt it was important to show me the animals, and I could see why. Luke had shown me pictures of many of them, brought from the lab, but my image of them was inadequate compared to the animals themselves. The way they moved, the way they worked together couldn't easily be described, and their size was much easier to grasp with two eyes actually on the creatures themselves. We found the massive titanotheres and the smallish forest banshees, smaller versions of the ikrans the Na'vi hunters rode. I asked Jake about the ikrans; I knew he was a prolific hunter. He must have his own ikran, which he did, of course. He said I would love flying but also that the banshees could only carry one, unfortunately, or he would have taken me flying with him. I asked him eventually about the toruk…the giant dragon of the sky, the one of legend…the one that had made him legend. I listened to him talk about riding toruk, the incredible bond created through tsahaylu with such an awesome creature. He said toruk was similar to the ikran, but more willful. More intense, more demanding. Every tsahaylu with the creatures was a partnership, but he said tsahaylu with toruk was a dance. A cooperative understanding. He had released the great creature when the battle with the RDA had been won. Toruk was not a creature to be summoned at will without need.

"I don't think he would actually kill me now, if he recognized me, but he is not a tame banshee," Jake had told me. He had a great deal of respect for the being, and it sounded well deserved.

We kept talking, more and more easily with each other, as we ventured through the trees, yet remaining alert and wary. When we came upon the main village again, I was surprised. I hadn't realized we had traveled in a great circle, or semi-circle, but it seemed we had done just that. I made a note to myself to pay more attention to the direction of the sun in the future, to keep my bearings amidst the forest…such details were vital, I knew.

I was a little disappointed to be ending such a terrific day already, even though the sun was beginning to wane. It would still be a little while until the evening meal, and although I was tired, I wondered what was on the schedule until then, or even if Jake was to continue as my escort now that we were home again. We meandered toward the clearing.

"You look tired, Jenna."

"Mmm," I agreed, nodding.

"Here, sit," Jake offered, guiding me over toward a tree. It looked made for relaxing while sharing a quiet conversation. I settled down on the ground against the trunk and Jake sat next to me, nestling himself into an accompanying nook. I closed my eyes for a few moments, finally feeling the exhaustion wash over me. It had been a long and full day, mentally and physically. I thought of some of the comforts of Earth. There weren't many that this place did not have, in some capacity. And the atmosphere here, the environment, lent its own comfort just on its own. But there was something I did miss.

"Gosh, I miss hot showers."

Jake snorted softly next to me and I cracked an eyelid to peer at him. He was smiling, staring at the ground. I closed my eyes again, content that I hadn't offended.

"No, no hot showers here," I heard him mumble next to me. "No pizza either." I cracked an eyelid again. He was looking over at me from the corner of his eye, a smirk crinkling his lip. I grinned and laughed. Yes, I missed pizza too.

We spent a rather enjoyable evening reminiscing the different things of Earth life that had made the bleak sky and endless city so bearable. Different foods, certain songs, some good, some groan-worthy, movies, lots of movies, and even plenty of things we did not miss, as well. Our conversation lulled into a peaceful reverie for a few minutes. I marveled to myself how jovial Jake was being toward the discussion of the things he had so long ago left behind.

"Do you miss it, Jenna? Earth? Your home?" Jake asked in a soft, serious tone. I thought for a minute before answering him, making sure.

"No, I don't think so. There is so much more here, less things, and more substance. This world is alive. The Earth is dying." I was a little sad to realize that I was not missing Earth, and not really missing a lot of the people there, either. The few friends I had had on Earth were more like passing acquaintances, accidental familiarity by frequenting the same haunts. No, I didn't miss them. "Jake, do you ever miss it, even a little?"

He snorted again with a rather wry smirk this time and looked me straight in the eye. "Nope." He did not hesitate and he did not elaborate. I didn't really expect him to, and his answer did not surprise me. The scent of meal time was beginning to waft our way. I heard Jake chuckle a little and looked at him questioningly.

"You know, the lab guys tried to make pizza one time. They sort of succeeded, too. They said it was fine. Didn't taste right, though." He smiled at the memory. "The mind misses pizza sometimes, but the tastebuds don't work the same in this mouth." I was still marveling in his playful tone, talking about such Earth-bound things, and I smiled as Jake continued. "Luke tried it, in and out of his avatar when he still switched back and forth. He said the same thing." I chuckled at the dedication of a researcher to try out the questionable substance in both bodies.

"So, Jake, I know why Luke had to try it…try the same food in two different mouths, great investigative opportunity like no other…why did you try it?" I asked, teasingly. Jake grinned and shrugged.

"Oh come on, Jenna, it was pizza. I had to," he replied, a big grin on his face. We laughed together and it felt good.

We chatted for a few minutes more while the scents began to attract the clan to the fire pit. We soon joined them, nabbed some food and drink, and although I had expected Jake to take his leave and attend to the others, he asked if I would eat with him and so we adjourned back to the cozy alcove by the tree.

It started getting late. Emboldened by the exhaustion and full-belly, and the ongoing conversation with Jake, I decided to ask him about Luke.

"So Jake, why'd you pull rank on Luke yesterday? Told him to go, just like that?" I asked it lightly, a little saucily. Maybe more boldly than I would have if I was more awake. Jake was taken aback. He actually looked stunned, and had nothing to say. I tilted my head back and laughed and after a moment, Jake chuckled a couple times, too.

We shared a few more words and chuckles before it became painfully obvious that I needed to sleep. Jake asked if I was fine to stumble back to my hollow, which I assured him I was. I was eternally grateful that my subconscious somehow kept me from blurting out that he could join me anytime. My filters had always tended to vanish as I fell further into exhaustion. Instead, he simply wished me good night.

"Rest well, Jennavie."

"And you, Jake Sully." We shared one more genial smile before heading in our own directions.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Jake and I had planned to meet at midmorning the next day, so I wasn't surprised to be spending the morning on my own, as usual. Right on time, Jake appeared and I was ready for him.

We headed into the forest, a new direction this time, as was also typical when accompanying Jake. He rarely struck out in the same direction twice. We walked through the trees stealthily, scouting and hunting, observing the forest, exploring our world with no particular agenda but to accept whatever Pandora presented us with that day. We would hunt should the opportunity arise, scout around, observing and cataloging the forest environs. Jake did this on a daily basis, all around Hometree…he kept a very watchful eye on his land, and to accompany him on any journey into the forest also meant learning a little more about a variety of things.

Sometime around midday we gathered some fruit and found a quiet, secluded area to settle and eat. It was an interesting spot, with several plants I hadn't come across before. They looked pretty safe to me, judging by what I had observed from the plants I did know, and before Jake could stop me I walked over to a unique, fuzzy looking thing, trailing from the ground up into the trees. It was thin and ropy, and spiraled like a corkscrew. It was very plainly colored, as if it were withdrawing from its more brightly colored brethren, disappearing into the background. It looked soft, like velvet, and as I reached out a hand to feel the soft fuzz, I heard Jake exclaim behind me, but too late.

"Oh, Jenna, don't-"

Smack! The ropy vine unfurled like a wire coil releasing its tension and whipped me across the head as soon as I brushed it with my fingers. Its fuzziness didn't soften the blow at all. I staggered back, stung, but not terribly injured, I guessed, even as my head spun in circles. Jake was right there. He pulled me away from the plant and down to the ground, sitting me down firmly and holding my head steady in his strong grip. As I reeled from the blow, Jake turned my head left and right, examining me for any injuries. As my vision stopped spinning, I saw the concerned look on his face as he looked me over. I was touched, even through the pain; I remembered the day he had held me when my heart had erupted in tears, that first morning on Pandora. My head had throbbed then, too, from falling and whacking it the night I had fled the lab. This man really was so incredibly caring. I felt tears welling up in my eyes again. I missed the tenderness, having someone hold me. I suddenly realized there was more I missed from Earth than I had realized.

I hadn't had a close relationship for a long time when my spirit had fled across the stars, but that didn't mean I had forgotten what it felt like, to be held tenderly on a regular basis. I missed the close contact, the intimacy of another being, now more than ever. Here, although the mated pairs of Na'vi showed some close contact and hands-on-shoulders were typical between the people, hugs and kisses weren't a part of daily life for most, it seemed to me. And I missed it.

A tear leaked from my eye and trailed down my cheek as Jake kept examining my head and the ear that had taken the brunt of the plant's fury. It stung when he brushed a thumb across it and I hissed at the pain. He looked at my face at last, distress etched into his expression.

"Jenna, are you okay?" He let his hands fall from my head onto my shoulders, still holding me firmly.

I sniffled a little and nodded, willing my tears to abate. I wasn't badly hurt, just a little smacked around. The tears weren't reflecting my unfortunate encounter with the plant. Jake reached up and brushed a hand over my braided hair, still looking very concerned.

"You sure?" I closed my eyes as two more tears leaked out from under my eyelids. He wasn't going to let me lie to him. A sob welled up in my chest and I let it out in a little huff, trying to quiet my own misery.

"I miss being hugged," I squeaked in a whisper. I hated how my voice constricted when I cried, and even though this body was brand new, it still reacted the same way, it seemed. It was me, through and through, which was both comforting and strange at the same time. But I had said it. I had made my confession. And as soon as I did, I felt better. The tears eased, and the sob pressing in my chest dissipated. I didn't expect the Na'vi people to suddenly accommodate my human needs of contact, but saying it aloud was better than pretending to myself that those needs didn't exist.

Jake wore a pained, sympathetic expression as he continued to stroke my hair and the side of my head that had not been whacked. I regained control of myself and finally looked into his face to give him a watery smile, grateful for his concern. Jake gave me a half smile in return and then leaned forward, pulling my face toward his. He kissed my temple, gently, holding my head steadily in his hand, his lips lingering on my skin as I melted in his grasp. Then he pulled me forward into a firm embrace, gently guiding my head to rest on his chest, good ear against his skin, nestling my body between his knees. It was so incredibly sweet, I felt like crying all over again. He didn't need to do this for me. Instead I breathed deeply, trying not to let the feelings overwhelm me again. I wrapped my arms around his back and held him tightly, too. Jake sighed and I felt him relax. I wondered if he missed this, too.

We sat on the ground, embraced for a little while. It felt good. My pain eased, in my head and my heart. I knew this was life on Pandora. I had accepted it, even before I arrived, by following that tiny non-voice of a spirit. Life was better than dying. The chance to live even one day here was better than dying on Earth, without ever knowing this place. Even without hot showers and hugs, I was glad to be here. This was worth the sacrifice. I had been here only a few weeks, and already I knew it to be true. I highly doubted Jake felt any differently, whatever else he might be feeling. He knew the value of this place, this life, much better than I, that was for sure.

Finally, I heard his stomach grumble under my ear. He didn't twitch. He just held me tighter for another couple of minutes until my stomach started growling, too. I felt him chuckle before the sound came out his throat and I chuckled too. We pulled away from each other, and Jake stroked my face one more time. I was so grateful to him for this. His embrace had reminded me of the value of close contact, hugs…and other things. I felt my body yearning for those other things and felt the strong, almost primal pull toward the man in my company. But I was grateful for Jake's tenderness, and that would be enough.

We spoke amiably as we cut up the fruit and ate, if maybe a little more light and casual with each other than usual. We finished our meal and I turned away to lay the fruit skins out into the forest a little ways for the other creatures to find and enjoy. I liked arranging the leftover bits of fruit into patterns, the somewhat silly and childish notion that perhaps they would taste better to the creatures, having been arranged with such care, a little bit of love infused into each piece. I heard Jake walk up behind me as I stood. I expected he was simply waiting for me so I didn't hurry to turn back around, just stood there reflecting on the small things the people would do to show their deep and profound love and respect for this world. Suddenly I felt him, right behind me, interrupting my reflection. I turned over my shoulder to look at him and found him gazing at me, a rather profound look in his own eye. I felt him slide a hand onto my hip as his other hand cradled my face again. He sighed and leaned his temple against mine. I felt a little weak kneed as his warm hands held onto me. My mind reeled again, wondering what this was, a fool's hope rising in my heart, and loins.

"You know…" he said, in a near whisper, "…I miss this too." I melted a little inside. I smiled, and sighed deeply, melting into him a little more. I had wondered as much, and now he had confirmed it…I had read him right. It gave me confidence to nestle a little closer to him as he stretched his arm a little further around my waist, holding me firm. I heard him swallow and opened my eyes to turn and look at him. His eyes were half-closed, a frown furrowing his brow even as his hands swept slowly across my skin. I had never seen him look so conflicted. I wanted so badly to kiss him, to let him know this was alright, to feel those lips on mine, and maybe even that tongue. And after a moment, I almost did. I turned myself enough for my lips to meet his and brushed them gently, not quite mustering up the nerve to just go for it, even though he hadn't pulled away. This was Jake Sully. The Oloeyktan of the Omaticaya clan. Toruk Macto, for heaven's sake! This man was a mighty fortress, an unrelenting pillar of strength and virility, and…and manliness!

Jake inhaled deeply and licked his lips. We were so close that his tongue brushed my lips as he did it. My innards leapt and twisted, and I turned around slowly, his hand caressing my body as I spun in his grasp. His fingers gently curled around the base of my tail as I faced him and he pulled me toward him, finally meeting me with lips and tongue of his own. As much as I had wanted it, I wasn't prepared for the intensity of his kiss. His jaws moved slow, but so strong. I kissed him back, drowning in the sensation.

It was as I was pressing my whole body against him, losing control of any kind of decorum I might have had, that Jake pulled his mouth away from mine. I could feel him hard against me; he couldn't tell me he didn't want this, too. But he had a very halting look in his face all the same.

"Jenna, I don't…" he trailed off, gazing at me with apologetic eyes. I mused to myself this was probably not something the Na'vi did casually…it didn't seem their style… and Jake was certainly one of them, through and through. I lived with them, immersed in the culture and activities every day, more involved in this life than I ever had been on Earth, but I still felt more human than Na'vi. This was human behavior…not the behavior of the leader of a Na'vi tribe. Jake cleared his throat and pulled back a little more, loosening his grip on my backside and sending waves of pleasure screaming through my body…although they were screaming to not let him retreat. I thought I could understand Jake's hesitation; I didn't know for sure if I was right or not, but the screaming in my body didn't let me care very much right then. I knew Jake was Na'vi, completely. He didn't regret any tiny thing since his choice to stay with the people and defend them from the humans. But surely he must still remember being human. At least a little.

I reached a hand up to his face and held his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment, but did not pull away. "Jake, I know this…this probably isn't normal among…among the people." I stuttered a little, nervous to entreat this giant of a man, and having trouble keeping my breathing under control. My nerves and desire were warring with each other. I ran my fingers across his jaw, my other hand around his waist, feeling the muscles bound tight around his abdomen, the swell of his hip. He still held me loosely in his grasp. Finally, my desire won out over my nerves. I growled a little in frustration, the sound coming unbidden from my lungs in a throaty grumble. I let my hands stroke his neck, the line of his collarbone, around his hip and inside the deep crevice between the muscles of his back, down to his tail. His face remained impassive, but I felt his hands clench a little tighter on my shoulder and hip. "Jake, I want this. I want you." He growled a little, deep in his chest, the sound grinding from his throat like an angry purr. He bowed his head, resting his forehead on my shoulder, his breathing heavy. I knew he did indeed want this as much as I did, but he was fighting it. Hard. "Jake…it's been…a long time…" I hissed at him, almost pleading for him. Jake nuzzled the expanse between my shoulder and neck, his hands starting to move slowly over my skin again, his fingers feeling around my curves.

"How long…?" he mumbled into my neck. The vibrations from his voice against my body was exhilarating.

"Several years" I whisper-hissed. "And for you…?"

I felt Jake's tongue slide along my neck in an agonizingly slow trail before he rumbled, "Longer," and he took my neck in his mouth, his fangs poking into my sensitive skin just slightly as he bit me; his fingers clenched tight for a moment before he embraced me fully and hauled my body tight against his. I gasped and groaned out loud as he finally let go of his inhibitions, rubbing against me and kissing and licking my neck, caressing away the sharp bite. His hands moved down to my hips and I felt him plucking at the strings of my loincloth. As much as I wanted him, I suddenly worried about the implications. I didn't want to be responsible for getting Jake in trouble…or even ousted from the clan for engaging in such un-Na'vi-like behavior. I didn't want to be ousted myself.

"Jake!" I said, pushing his shoulders away from me just a little. He looked up at me in alarm, breathing heavily. "Are you sure, you're sure this is okay?" I was still panting heavily myself, and it pained me to even ask, especially when Jake groaned loud and threw his head back, looking up into the sky.

"Oohhh, Jenna!" he growled, exasperated. His forehead fell to rest on my shoulder again.

"I'm sorry Jake," I whispered, afraid, still wanting him so badly I could feel the ache of it in my core. "I'm sorry, I just don't want to cause any trouble because of it." Jake growled into my neck and started kissing me again, his lips soft against my collarbone.

"Casual sex happens, Jenna," he licked the base of my neck. I could barely hear him for the pounding in my ears. "Sometimes the teenagers will play with it…" he wrapped his hands under my backside. "Not often…sex without tsahaylu is…" he paused in his kisses and caressing, as if searching for the word, "…immature." My lustful reverie was briefly interrupted. Tsahaylu with another Na'vi? I hadn't even thought about it. The implications were vast; I imagined that would indeed be a much more…mature experience in the throes of passion. But Jake's hands had started moving again and he nuzzled his way back into my neck, effectively scattering any other thoughts and interrupting the almost constant flow of questions that always came to me. "So this is okay." I would have been glad to hear it if I could have thought straight. He reached up to my ear, sucking on the very tip, his tongue caressing the edge. I shuddered as he did it. "And you are gonna pay for that apology," he breathed into my ear.

I exhaled sharply and felt my stomach swoop. I grabbed him around the shoulders with one arm and around the waist with the opposite leg as I ripped off the necklace that served as my upper garment and Jake finished untying the strings of my loincloth. He quickly untangled it from my tail and body as I fumbled at the strings on his own. Finished with my garment, his hand wrestled with mine to untie his own loincloth and he ripped it loose, deftly pulling it from around his own tail. I pulled back to let the cloth between us come free and looked down his inspiring body, pressed close to mine.

"Oh…" I gasped, gazing down his abdomen. Impressive wasn't the word. Intimidating didn't cut it either. Hell, yeah. Now that was it. Jake gave a head tilt and a wicked half-grin. I swear he did it just because he knew the effect it would have. I grabbed his face and growled as I kissed him fiercely. Jake growled back, even smothered as he was by my own lips and tongue, and heaved on my backside, pulling me up onto his waiting lap. I completely let go of any sense of modesty as I let me desire run rampant, and Jake followed suit. He was a big fellow, and I groaned as our bodies collided, relishing the feel. He purred out a deep, thundering rumble and held me firmly around my back and waist as he gained momentum. I braced against him, pulling him closer with my legs with every thrust, willing every inch of him to come inside and party.

I leaned my head back and gazed up at the treetops in a rapturous haze as we rocked together. The branches seemed to sway in slow motion above our heads. Time slowed down as Jake and I gave in to our human desires, here on this inhuman world…and yet, it didn't feel necessarily human. There was nothing of Earth here, now, in what we were doing…only that deep and driving urge to share something so intimately intense with another creature, another being. The beauty of it did not belong to humans; it did not belong to Earth.

Sweat trailed down Jake's shoulders and mingled with mine as we continued our primal dance. He was as attentive a lover as he was anything else, even as his own need reached a frenzied peak, and he worked my body very efficiently, quenching my desires along with his own. When all was said and done, we clung to each other for several long minutes, breathing, sweating, embracing. I could easily have stayed perched on his strong thighs for several hours, but I eased my legs down off of his hips to offer him a reprieve, and he groaned a little as he leaned back onto his haunches.

"Hmmmm," Jake rumbled. It sounded like purring thunder tumbling from his chest and throat. I trilled in response and found that it came out as more of a purr, as well. I liked the sound, and the feeling in my lungs.

I knelt back on my legs too, shifting a little to let my hips find a more comfortable position, and kept my eyes on Jake. Now that we had given in to our human needs, I started to worry again. The usuals came to mind, hoping Jake felt okay about it, worrying what he thought about me now…the worries I knew from every other encounter, before, as a human. But also worry about what I was supposed to think about this. What did this do to the relationship between me and Jake? What about me and Luke? I was a little ashamed that I hadn't even considered him before urging Jake on. I felt like Luke and I were good friends, but I had a bad feeling that this would cause a rift between us, if he knew. I didn't want to tell him. Or anyone else in the clan, either, fearing their reaction to our immature behavior. Fearing I would be blamed for tainting their Oloeyktan's mind with human desires. No, I didn't want them knowing, but secrecy wasn't a big part of Na'vi life, either. Would Jake feel obligated to report? Oh lord, what had we done?

These thoughts crossed my mind's eye in a flash as I settled back on my haunches. Jake lifted a hand to my chin and held me with his fingertips as he leaned in to give me a deep, tender kiss. My whirlwind thoughts fled for the moment. I grinned contentedly and watched Jake roll back onto his rear and stretch his legs one by one out in front of him, groaning a little more. He rested his forearms on bent knees, affording me an excellent view. I took advantage of it and let my eyes rove a bit. It seemed he was doing the same, so I didn't let myself feel even a shred of guilt for it. He was rocking a seriously nice body. Na'vi and human anatomy didn't seem to line up exactly, but it was close. And there was nothing wrong with Jake's, that was for sure.

After just a few minutes recovery, Jake stood up again and started gathering our discarded clothing from around the area. He seemed vaguely distracted and wouldn't meet my gaze right away. Well, he could be awkward if he wanted to, but I was still feeling the good things roving through my body and mind from our encounter, and decided that giving in to the awkwardness would only lend more credence to the notion that we had just engaged in immature behavior, so as Jake passed by me reaching for my garments, I brushed his calf with my fingertips. He stopped immediately and glanced down at me, at last.

I smiled my warmest smile up at him, saying, "Thank you, Jake. Thank you, for all of it." Jake sighed and dropped the garments back on the ground. He turned and knelt down in front of me, sliding a hand around behind my neck, sighing deeply. He smiled a little sadly.

"Jenna…you make me remember my old life. I left it all behind, and I don't regret it for a second. But…" he paused, and seemed to be searching for the right words. He sighed again. "This is the first time I've been able to think about my past and not despise it, these past few weeks. Being with you, talking with you. I feel more human around you, and I should resent that…but I don't. Not around you."

I nodded, understanding Jake's conflict. I had seen enough of his reactions toward humans and human behavior to know that he could easily have left all things human behind and never looked back. And here I was, bringing them right to his face again. I was a little crestfallen, feeling sorry for bringing him this conflict, for letting my human wants and needs push him into this place. But Jake held my head firm and he smiled. He leaned forward and kissed me tenderly one more time. It was beautiful, feeling his lips on mine.

"I left behind good things, too, with my old life. You remind me of those. Of the good things." He smiled again briefly. I knew what he was going to say next before he even said it, and it was okay. I was ready. "Look, I don't think we should…make this a habit. We shouldn't do this again. But, uh…I'll be there with a hug if you need it, okay?" His smile returned even with the awkward words, and I grinned with him, nodding my head. A hug was a poor substitute for what we had just shared, but it was ludicrous to imagine it ever happening again. We had fed our desires, but that was done now. Our one tryst would have to suffice.

"I'd like that. Thanks. Thank you, Jake." And I meant it. Jake stood again, pulling me to my feet as well.

"Thank you, Jenna." He stepped close and touched my forehead with his. "That felt good," he rumbled, and sighed. I almost swooned, ready to take him on again, but Jake let go of my hands and turned away, picking up our clothes again and handing my garments to me. I sighed and put away my slight disappointment; I knew this was for the best, anyway. I hoped Jake and me would still have a good friendship, at least.

The thought made me think of Luke, and I realized he would be coming back tomorrow sometime. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I did miss his company. I would be glad to see him again, I decided, as I got dressed. I saw Jake cast a small sad smile in my direction as he finished adjusting his loincloth. Exactly what it was for, I didn't know. It could have been sympathy for me, it could have been sadness for him. Well, it had been his decision, after all, and I'd be alright, whatever he decided was best.

We spent the rest of the afternoon out hunting, as we had intended. It was a shorter hunt, of course, and we, meaning Jake, didn't catch anything that day, but that was not terribly unusual, anyway. Especially with an untrained sidekick, it was difficult to locate prey and secure a kill on a daily basis. I rather suspected we could have done a bit better, but Jake seemed distracted and I was in no state to call him on it, myself. In the few hours that passed since our tryst and our arrival back home, we had chatted more and more amiably again. When we got back, Jake had to leave me for awhile to attend to his duties. I stayed near my hollow, just thinking and weaving, recalling the sensation of Jake's tongue on my skin and feeling like if I could remember that, well maybe that and the sight of his naked body, I could be perfectly happy just being a friend. I felt good about our relationship with each other again by the evening meal. I ate by Jake's side and he seemed chipper, easy going and jovial with me and his fellow clansmen. After the meal, it was business as usual as Jake bid me good evening and went to continue his tasks.

Later that evening as the sounds of the clan settled down for the night, I laid myself down on my mat and reflected yet again on the feeling of Jake all over me. It had been so long since I had felt that level of intimacy with anyone. It had been a thing of absolute beauty. I could only imagine what tsahaylu would have done for it, what ecstasy would be found from sharing a neural link with the one who held you enthrall. I wondered if I would ever experience such a thing. With Jake? My eyes bounced around the rough ceiling of my hollow, searching for some answer. No immediate thought followed that query, though. It felt dangerous, unsettled, somehow. I chanced another. With Luke? My mind jumped to images of my friend in rapture, his arms around me, my cheek against his. Somehow, it was much easier to imagine with Luke. He was definitely more open than Jake, much less guarded. Less complicated, I thought. Jake was a smart man…had he really thought it was a bad idea for Luke to show such an interest in me, after all? To have sent him away so forcefully? Had Jake had other reasons for doing so?

I finally fell asleep amidst my whirling thoughts, not knowing anymore how I felt about either one of them, or what I wanted. I hoped the morning would bring me some clarity.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The morning sun brought Jake along with it. I awoke and glanced across the clearing to see him ambling toward the fire pit, cold and black once more, rubbing his eyes a bit. He'd clearly only just woken up. He looked tired, like he had had a late night. The sight of the mighty Oloeyktan rubbing the sleep from his eyes was terribly adorable. I really felt something for Jake that morning, beyond the hope of friendship, the caring about a good person. I would have to be careful, I realized. I was falling for him; this was much more than a simple crush and went beyond the fairly straightforward physical nature of sharing intimacy with another.

I roused myself and prepared for the day, making a pact with myself to not give in to any awkwardness around Jake or make things more complicated. His friendship meant more to me than anything else rattling around my brain, so I was determined to be friendly, and make it easy for him to be friendly with me, too. I set out toward the fire pit, venturing forth and approaching Jake to discover what the day held in store for us, or for me anyway, before he had a chance to even look around.

"Kaltxi, Jake," I greeted, trying out the informal "hello" of the Na'vi. Jake smiled, pleased with my use of his language.

"Kaltxi, ma Jenna," he replied, and shared a few pleased glances with the clansmen he was seated with. They said a few things to Jake in Na'vi that I didn't catch, but they smiled at me too. "Please…" Jake said, in English, gesturing for me to join them. "They're happy to hear you using the language, speaking it so well," Jake confided to me in a low voice. Once again, though, I thought they gave me too much credit.

"I only know a few words, really," I replied, also in a low voice, feeling a little sheepish.

"Yes, but you use them correctly already. You pronounce them perfectly. You do a good job with them." He smiled again, and I felt proud. The language was hard, especially constructing proper sentences, so what little mastery I had over the few words I knew made me very happy. It was a good start on the day.

We talked a little and had some breakfast (the Na'vi didn't call the meals breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but it was hard for me to break those habits). I felt more easy with Jake the more we spoke. It was becoming easier to just be natural with him again, and I was pleased how well we had seemed to settle back into a friendly routine.

Jake's fellow clansmen, two of them, had stayed and been talking with Jake and myself (as much as they could, anyway), while we had eaten. They were speaking with Jake again, and gesturing toward me. Jake had been doing a fine job conveying the gist of the conversation to me, the parts I didn't catch, but now had engaged in a swifter dialogue. I tried hard to catch the words…sentence structure was tough, but if I caught enough words, I could usually piece together what they were saying. I caught the words pa'li, macto, yerik, and taron. Direhorse, ride, hexapede, and hunt. Without the proper sentence, though, those four words could be just about anything to do with daily Na'vi life. I waited, glancing at Jake, for the translation. The two clansmen looked like they were trying to convince him of something. Finally Jake turned to me.

"They think I ought to take you to the south today, to hunt the yerik grazing there in large numbers. We would take the pa'li and be able to carry back more than one animal, if we had good hunting. What do you think? You comfortable enough on the pa'li to ride out with me?" I knew he was asking about my ability to ride my own pa'li, on my own. Luke had been teaching me and I was feeling pretty confidant, but I had not yet ventured away from home.

"Oh, um, I guess so. Yes, I think so." The range of emotions crossed my face, from nervous to unsure, to reasonably sure, to hopeful and willing to try. The two other men did not speak English, but they were adept at reading expression. They spoke again to Jake, smiling encouragingly at me. Jake smiled and smirked a little, looking at the ground for a moment before turning to me again.

"They said to go, and that you could always ride with me if you got nervous." The glint in his eye and the half smile playing on his lips said he had not forgotten yesterday's activities one bit. I smiled wide, holding Jake's eye for maybe a moment longer than necessary, before nodding once.

The other men stood, all smiles, saying, "Siltsan! Siltsan!" ("good, good"), and they departed, the matter decided. Jake looked at me with a tilt of his head. It was no good. Every time I saw him do that now, I saw him naked. Hell, yeah. I swooned a little inside.

"So, are you ready for this? Really?" he asked.

"Yes, I am," I said, gathering my wits again and grinning.

"Okay, let's ride," and he stood, ready to get going straight away. I started a little, taken off guard by the rapid departure, but quickly followed suit. We gathered what little we would need and headed over to the pa'li, but grazing peacefully off to the side of the main village area. Jake had gathered a few more things I didn't recognize, but he explained as he began fitting them to the pa'li (he had made sure to choose the one I had been learning to ride, already). They were pannier-type contraptions to help hold prey securely on horseback for the journey home. He remained on the ground while I mounted the creature and made sure I was secure before mounting his own. We rode out toward the south in our search for the great herd, starting at a walk, and eventually gaining speed as we reached the less-well forested areas. Jake rode better than he gave himself credit for. We were moving at a good clip and he looked pretty secure in the saddle up ahead of me. I began to suspect the long walk home from the Tree of Souls those weeks earlier had not been due to his lack of ability after all. And maybe not due to mine, either, I thought with a quiet smirk.

We rode due south for some time, talking a little as we had the chance. Things felt much the same as they had between us, friendly and easy going. Perhaps we had made it through the awkward phase unscathed. I was glad for that thought.

Eventually, we quieted down and Jake became more focused on the forest, stopping to listen, often dismounting to check the trail. I followed suit and kept trying to read the same signs he was finding. I was pleased to pick up the subtle trail at one point, a moment before Jake pointed it out to me. I felt I was finally learning and developing a tiny amount of skill. Shortly after this, Jake left the pa'li "tethered" (he let their leads fall to the ground, but did not tie them-the animals were well taught to stay pretty much put, but tying them firmly would have left them as an easy meal for a predator), and we set off together on foot through the forest. We kept quiet now and stayed as silent as we could through the thinning trees. We came upon the herd suddenly. A great mass of beasts was crossing through the forest, directly ahead of us. Jake threw out a hand to halt me, and we pressed ourselves low to the ground.

Jake was silent for a moment before he whispered to me, "We'll move off to the left, to hunt at the very tail end of the herd. We'll try to capture a lone animal without alarming the main group." I nodded my understanding and we moved to the left, quickly and quietly. In just a few minutes we came upon the last few trailing creatures. Jake crept through the trees, getting bow and arrow at the ready, his focus intent on a lone animal close to our side of the forest. He followed it closely with the tip of the arrow, creeping through the forest silently. I held back to give him room to move as he needed and watched him work. I wondered why he was waiting. As the animal's path took it through a tight copse of trees, Jake steadied himself and let his arrow fly. Before it had even made its mark, Jake was slinking through the trees toward the fallen yerik. I followed hastily, but quietly, as I marveled at his foresight and skill. Now that he had completed the kill, I saw clearly that felling the animal in the copse of trees kept both the animal and Jake concealed from the others, hopefully keeping them from scattering. Jake was muttering the final prayer to the yerik when I reached him, and I laid my hands on the animal, not knowing the words in Na'vi, but thanking it silently, all the same. I understood the need to hunt, and was starting to really see this animal's death as a very real gift of life. Jake laid a quiet hand on my shoulder and gave me a smile before quickly turning and finding another mark for his arrow before they grazed out of range. As luck would have it, another lone animal was grazing just forward of our position, and hidden as we were, Jake had a decent chance of a second shot. He held his bow at the ready, waiting for the right moment. As the creature turned to give us a clear side shot, Jake let the arrow fly, and again it landed true. He moved out into the open and the handful of yerik still trailing behind cried out and bolted to rejoin the main herd.

I stayed with the first of our prey to keep an eye on it from any wandering predators and waited for Jake to tend to the second. He was exposed out there, and I saw him glance around stealthily as he prepared to move the creature, hefting it to his shoulders and keeping a low profile as he strode back to where I was waiting.

"Two is all we can handle right now. Let's get back to the pa'li and we'll see if our day's hunt is done or not." He helped me lift and balance one of the animals on my shoulders, making sure I was okay with it (he realized this was still not terrifically normal for me), and we made our way back to our mounts.

We couldn't leave the pa'li laden with our catch, so we moved as stealthily as we could through the trees, catching up to the herd once again. Two attempts we made to try for another successful kill. Jake slid from his mount and slipped through the forest like a nymph of the wood, swiftly getting within range while I tended the pa'li and our previous catches, but Jake's first arrow went astray, sending the stragglers back into the herd ahead. We had to ride swiftly to catch up again, and unfortunately on Jake's last attempt, although he stalked the herd on foot and cautiously chose his target, he was thwarted by a viperwolf attack on a young yerik straggling on the opposite side of the large herd. The alarmed beasts bolted, all together. Jake had run back to me and motioned that we should leave, quickly, and calmly. I had not seen the viperwolves before, but they were frighteningly efficient hunters in a pack, and I understood. We had a fresh kill, and we needn't put ourselves or our catch in danger by lingering any longer on a slim chance of sneaking up on the herd again.

We rode home slowly to avoid undue jostling of the yerik on the back of the pa'li and spoiling its meat, chatting amiably. I enjoyed talking with Jake. He made me laugh and smile. We joked with each other and compared stories. He didn't talk much about his past and I avoided asking him much about it, but he had plenty to say without delving into it. I had gathered enough about his past to understand why he avoided remembering it much, any of it, not just the disastrous events on Pandora. He asked about my past, though, most of my experiences up to that point having only been on Earth, and I went on at length. About most things. Like Jake, I had demons I preferred not to remember if at all possible.

He did talk about his military training and how it had come to full fruition in his life as a Na'vi. It had helped prepare him for the onslaught of Pandora, a life he had reluctantly stumbled into, but had only been the first stepping stone to becoming the mighty warrior of the clans.

"It's like all of human behavior is just an immature version of the Na'vi way of life. There's so much more to it, in everything we do. I remember the way it was, on Earth, and it was all just…so much less. Here, everything has matured to an incredible level of respect and understanding. Everything is better. Everything." He really loved his life here, and I understood why. I was beginning to see the beauty in its simplicity, myself. It was so radically different than my life on Earth had been, but that didn't mean it was bad. Not in the least.

I thought about what he had said about human behavior being an immature version of it all. I thought I understood. Tsahaylu erased so many complications when riding the pa'li as compared to riding a beast of burden back on Earth, and as Jake had described it, created a permanent bond between a hunter and his ikran, broken only by death of either member. To have that level of connection was a thrilling concept to me. I didn't know if I could ever bring myself to be a hunter, but I craved the experience of that deep connection, and the thought of flying…! I thought about tsahaylu with another Na'vi, and about that deep connection with another person. It boggled the mind, even having had the experience of bonding with the loyal creature carrying me through the trees at whim. I was curious; I thought it safe to ask Jake, since we had done the immature version already anyway.

"Jake, what would have happened, if…yesterday…if we were bonded while we did…whatever it was…" I asked haltingly, the words not flowing from my mouth as they had from my mind.

"We had sex, Jenna," Jake said plainly, turning back over his shoulder and grinning a quiet grin at me. I smiled sheepishly at my hesitation.

"Okay. What would have happened if we had been bonded, at the time? If we had shared tsahaylu?" I thought it might be asking a bit too intimate a question, since I was starting to feel like tsahaylu was a much more sacred bond, even between Na'vi and animal, than I had given it credit for beforehand. The prospect of tsahaylu with another person hinted at it even more strongly.

Jake didn't answer right away. It was his usual reaction to such questions, but still, it gave me enough time to start to worry.

"Jake, I really don't mean to ask such awkward questions at all the wrong times," I mumbled. He slowed his mount down as he sighed, allowing me to catch up, and he turned to smile at me while we continued walking.

"No it's alright. The Na'vi mate for life. The bond is forged through tsahaylu. Sometimes it doesn't work and the connection can't be made. Eywa has her reasons, I don't know them. That's Mo'at's territory. If we had shared tsahaylu…well, it's like marriage. But better. Stronger. It means more, it's not a bond you ever break." Jake paused and I nodded, indicating I understood the import of his words. After a few minutes of walking in silence, I started pondering other Na'vi biological mysteries.

"Jake? Can I ask you some more awkward questions?" I cringed as I asked, but Jake just looked at me and chuckled. Then he nodded and gestured with his hand as if to say "fire away!".

"Do I need to worry about, uh…birth control?", not quite sure how to put my slight concern delicately. I had no idea how or what the cycle of this body was…I made a note to ask one of the women, later. Jake spun to look at me somewhat alarmed. "I mean, all the working parts seem to behave in the expected manner, so…" Jake laughed and hung his head, shaking it back and forth a little. I wasn't sure what he had thought of at first, there.

Still chuckling a little, he replied, "Well, pregnancy does happen in, uh, the expected manner, but only through tsahaylu. I'm not too sure how that works, but you don't need to worry about that."

"Okay," I replied, satisfied. Our mounts kept walking steadily forward as I brooded in silence before braving my next question. "Jake…?" I couldn't believe I was going to actually ask him this. I let his name hang in the air, half hoping he hadn't heard me. I had begun wondering about my own inner workings which of course led to…

"Yeah?" He replied, turning toward me again.

"Oh, well, this might be a bit too personal, but…uh…" I was being very immature, tip toeing around the words after what Jake and I had already shared, but his curious gaze steeled my resolve. "Well, I couldn't help but notice that, uh…proportions being what they are…" Jake just stared at me as I kept forging ahead, muddling through. "Well, Jake, either the Na'vi are…proportionately larger…down there…or, you were hung like a horse, you know, back on Earth." There, I'd said it. I had…kind of asked. Jake sat on his mount looking stunned for a moment before grinning nervously and chuckling a little.

"You know, Jenna, I'm really not that well informed about, uh, Na'vi biology and all that. Luke studies all the biology stuff, you know, and-" Jake chattered on a bit nervously. Wow, I thought. Had I actually embarrassed him? He certainly had nothing to be embarrassed about, that was for sure. I couldn't help teasing him a little, his nerves steeling my own.

"Oh, well maybe I should ask Luke about it, then," I replied, giving him a saucy lilt and a mischievous glint of the eye, deliberately baiting him. His eyes snapped onto mine and I saw him give me a slightly frustrated grimace before he recognized that I was teasing him. His face ran a gamut of emotion as he looked away, a smirk playing on his lips now as he tilted his head. I was really starting to adore that head tilt.

"I was…about average, I guess, I don't know," he said in a low voice, referring to his human form, I figured. He looked at me and shrugged, seeming to indicate he had no idea how he stacked up here, as Na'vi. He rode close to me and brushed his thigh up and down against mine once. "It didn't seem to cause you any trouble," he rumbled in an even lower voice, that smirk playing on his lips again. "You seemed to like it just fine," he finished with a tilt of his head, and I felt myself blush. What that did to my blue striped face, I didn't know, but I felt the heat of it and turned away a little so he wouldn't see my goofy smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him grin, baring his fangs. I turned back to him again and glanced down at his groin, remembering.

"Oh, hell yeah," I mumbled. Jake laughed out loud and gripped my thigh with a firm squeeze, just briefly. We kept walking, again in silence, but the smile on Jake's lips remained. Mine, however, faded as my mind kept surging with thoughts and worry.

"Jake…"

"Jenna, I'm not sure I can handle any more of your questions, honestly," he said quickly, chuckling as he did so.

"No, no, it's just…Luke comes back today. I don't know what to tell him." I let the words hover between us, but it seemed Jake didn't have a response this time. "I don't want to tell him…"

"No, I don't either," he cut in, not smiling anymore. I looked at him for a long moment, waiting for more, but it didn't come.

"Is it…is it okay not to tell him? Not to tell anyone?" Jake turned and looked at me a little sadly. I continued quickly, "I'm not ashamed or anything Jake, I just don't want to cause trouble." He nodded at me, understanding.

"I know. It's probably best, that way."

We kept walking, side by side on our mounts. A few minutes of reflective silence passed. I thought about Jake. I thought about Luke. I thought about everything I had experienced since I had awoken in this strange body on this strange planet. I thought about the visit to the Tree of Souls. I wondered when we would be going back again. Mo'at had said there was more…more to discover, more to figure out, more to tell, I didn't know…but no more had been said about that since. I thought about the lab I had so hurriedly abandoned, with good reason. I found out after a few days that Jake had gone back and settled it with the humans. I had never asked what that meant, exactly, but he must have done something to be so certain that they would just let me go with him, just like that. I had no doubt that Jake knew how to impress his point to them in no uncertain terms. I thought more about Jake. I thought about Luke. I started a little when Jake spoke again.

"You know, Jenna…" He rode close and reached out, grasping my hand in his. "I don't regret what we shared, either." He smiled at me, a genuine smile that I returned, and I gave his hand a small squeeze. We rode home at a walk, hand in hand. It was nice, for that moment, to have that much with Jake at least.

…

…

…

Luke came home late that night, after the evening meal. I sat near Jake and his fellow clansmen chatting idly (or in my case, just weaving while I listened) about the day's hunt when I heard the thunder of hooves approaching through the forest. Luke and another Na'vi came riding up to the edge of the clearing, and I smiled as I saw him dismount and settle Aye'y into the herd again, tending to her carefully before approaching the group of us around the fire. He came up to us looking tired, but smiling. I felt a rush at the sight of him…Luke was a terrific man and a wonderful friend. I had indeed missed his company these past few days. He caught my eye and grinned widely. As I smiled back, I caught Jake's expression in the corner of my eye…he was watching me closely out of the corner of his, it seemed. It was hard to believe only four days had passed since Luke had ridden off to the lab, and Jake and I had…

Well, that was done, now. Jake stood to meet his returning brethren and they greeted each other in formal Na'vi. I knew and understood the words, but had not spoken them; the phrase was much more than a simple greeting, and I wouldn't tarnish its meaning by using it too loosely, without fully feeling the import of the words: _I see you_. But the men greeted each other genuinely, and both Luke and Jake seemed very friendly toward each other again, which I was glad to see. I stood as well, behind Jake and the others, waiting patiently. Luke gave a quick and dirty overview of his research…the project was going well, they collected a lot of data so far and had a few batches of insects that appeared to be maturing with great promise, and would now spend the following days and weeks analyzing that data, turning it toward practical applications which they could explore at their leisure with fewer time constraints. He was tired; there had been much to do, not a lot of sleep involved, a little bit of drama between colleagues as usual, and a long ride home. He worked his way around the small group, edging toward me as he spoke. I tried hard not to chuckle; he was terribly endearing inching his way around the circle, clearly moving inexorably closer to me. The days when Luke was with the clan, which were admittedly most days previous to this stretch, he typically had me by his side throughout the day, and as I caught the sly grins of the other Na'vi grouped together, I doubted that fact had been lost on them. I looked from Luke back to Jake and saw the Oloeyktan's gaze fixed on Luke. He wasn't grinning with the others, but pursing his lips a little as he watched Luke edge closer and closer to me. I was of two minds about it…one side of me was annoyed that Jake was acting so possessive of me with Luke here, now, especially as he had told me that our tryst was a one time thing, but the other side of me thrilled to think that he was, perhaps, a little jealous. That side of me liked being the object of Jake's desire.

Just then, though, Luke finally finished his brief synopsis of the past few days and gave me his whole attention, reaching out and holding my shoulder, giving me a slight squeeze and a smile. Now that he was right in front of me, I could see plainly how tired he was, his eyelids heavy and his stance just slightly swaying as he struggled to maintain his usually very steady balance.

"Hi, how are you?" he asked in as cheerful a voice as he could muster and a small sweet smile.

"Fine! Luke, you look like you need a good eight hours or so," I chuckled at him, gripping his shoulder as well. I was glad to see him. I had almost forgotten just how sweet that smile could be, made all the more so by the weary blinking and the drooping ears.

"Yeah," he replied with a quiet chuckle, waving his hand and dismissing his very obvious exhaustion. "Listen, if you're up for it, tomorrow I'd love to go over the last few days of the project with you, get your impressions and such." I was honored. I was very intrigued by Luke's work, and being ever so slightly scientifically inclined myself, I was flattered that he would value my opinion. "Unless you have other things planned already…" and he glanced over at Jake, an open and honest question on his tired face. I saw Jake tense for just a moment before he replied.

"No, nothing planned for tomorrow. We figured on you coming back today." Jake spoke genially enough, but I noticed his shoulders slump just a little as he said, "She's all yours." It was just as well that the other Na'vi had turned to go tend their own families and nighttime tasks, and Luke had turned back to beam at me. I was the only one who saw it. Luke bent down to gather his belongings again and I glanced over at Jake, who gave me a half-smile, the slightest little head tilt, and a nod as he backed away a couple of steps before turning and bounding away himself. I sent him off with a tiny wave and a smile that Luke did not see.

"Luke, you need help with your things here?" I asked, trying to get my mind off of Jake and the memory of his hands on my rear end, the sad slump of his shoulder as he relinquished me back to Luke.

"No, no Jenna, I'm alright here. I'm going to crash hard tonight, though," he said with a grin. "I'll see you in the morning? And we'll go over some of this stuff?"

"Sounds good."

He smiled and stood up straight again, stepping a little closer. "It's good to see you again, Jenna. Maybe it's silly, but I missed you already," he said, no embarrassment on his face at all, just a warm smile and another gentle squeeze on the shoulder. I melted a little and smiled back.

"It's good to see you, too, Luke. And it isn't silly. Not at all." And I meant it. We said good night and headed in our own directions. I nestled myself into my hollow, some weaving in hand, thinking the next few days would be nothing like simple. Not at all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The next two weeks went by in a blur. Luke delved right into the data he had collected so far, going over the finer points of his project with me and asking for my impressions. Several viable insect populations had been produced and it was almost time to start moving the project into practical applications…releasing the insects at different sites to see how they handled the metal detritus, what components they would leave behind, and basically how they would operate as a colony out on their own. It was a very positive step to take toward the healing of the relations between the Na'vi and the remaining humans to finally have the project ready for field trials. The Na'vi saw it as a measure of good faith, too, and the humans were all for such activities.

I rode out with Luke on a number of occasions to deliver insect populations to areas of scrap, to start the process going. Many of our journeys took us far from home and we would often strike out on pa'li for the entire day, Luke keeping to a pace I was comfortable with. We talked for long hours those days, about all sorts of things. We spoke about our lives back on Earth. I had nervously questioned Luke about the loss of his sister…he had been surprisingly candid about it. It was obvious he still felt the pain, but the healing nature of time had taught him to accept, and he handled it well these days. We talked about what we had been doing before we had come to Pandora, each in our own unique ways, some moments spoken with chagrin, others gleefully told through giggles on my part, and chuckles for Luke. We talked about how our goals had changed, now that nothing was as we had expected it to be. Luke was particularly interested in what I hoped for, now, having had my world so violently turned around. I had mentioned learning to hunt, still intrigued by the idea of flying, admittedly more so than the concept of hunting, although I did want to be a useful contributor to the clan. I so wanted to be useful, and I had promised myself that I would do whatever it took to be an honest and true member of the tribe. And besides, the skill and devotion Jake had shown me in his hunting techniques had truly impressed me. I hoped I could be as dedicated to something as both he and Luke were, at least in time. Luke had been a little quiet while I spoke about hunting with Jake, the techniques he had shown and the skill with which he stalked each different prey animal. I feared he may have been feeling a little upstaged as I went on about Jake's proficiency, but I just couldn't stop myself.

"Jake is an impressive hunter. He's honed his skill into a fine art," Luke conceded. "He's probably the finest hunter we have. I'm amazed he captured a swi'rat. They're notoriously difficult to hunt." I remembered well how hard it had been for me to even just stay still for those hours, nevermind Jake's ability to slowly knock the arrow back and hold it there, taut, until the exact right moment.

"He made this sound, just a tiny little noise, when he was ready to shoot. It made all the animals stick their heads up for just a split second, but he chose one and hit it before they could run…and man, did they run! It was…really awesome," I said, still relaying the impressive feat. I failed to mention the sore hips that had also been so skillfully handled later that day.

"Yeah …he always hunts like that. He just does what needs to be done. You should see him on ikran-" Luke immediately hushed himself and his smile vanished, as if he regretted saying that…as if he really didn't want to encourage that kind of behavior. I smiled a little to myself. "Well, he's very good with a flying shot, as well," he finished, trying not to be so obvious, I mused. He was quiet and pensive for a few moments and I thought he was still feeling a little awkward from his slip of phrase until he spoke again.

"Jenna…" he inquired, gently, but firmly. I noticed the serious tone in his voice immediately.

"Yeah? Yes?"

"Jenna…to be a hunter, you really would have to be able to defend yourself." Whatever I had expected, it hadn't been that. I knew that much already, and was curious now where Luke was going. "At close range." He looked intently at me. "Jenna, you would have to carry a knife, and be able to use it." Oh. The thought still chilled me. Both Luke and Jake had tried to get me to carry a knife or at least learn how to use one, but I had not been ready. I had flat refused to even hold it. I knew I was acting very phobic about knives, but I had good reason, I thought, and apparently so had Luke and Jake. They had not pressed the issue for some time. Even when Jake had been dressing our (his) kills, he had been very discreet with his knife, which I had appreciated. I was embarrassed to still be so reluctant to learn any knife skills.

I sighed deeply. Luke was looking at me with sympathy and concern in his big golden eyes. He reached out a hand behind my back, wrapping me around my shoulders and pulling me close. I felt very secure in Luke's embrace, suddenly very glad for Luke's humanness.

"Jenna, even if you don't learn to hunt, being able to handle a knife could mean the difference between life and death, whatever path you choose," he said softly. I knew this was hard for him. He didn't want to push me, but I knew he didn't want me dead, either. His worry for my safety was clear in everything he said and did, but he just sat next to me and sighed, rubbing my shoulder and waiting for me to digest his words.

Finally, after several minutes, I was ready to respond. I knew what I had to do. It was time. "I know," I said, turning to him, and met his gaze, speaking with more conviction as I went along. "I know. I have to get past my fear. I know I'm at a disadvantage not carrying a knife. I don't want to die…again. They really do scare the willies out of me, but…I guess dying from an animal attack scares me more." And it was true. I knew the dangers of Pandora, even without having been confronted by them directly…not yet, anyway. It was time I learned to defend myself, and truly decide to live here on this planet, completely and fully. I turned to Luke, grateful for his patience and hoping he had some ideas to help me through this. "I'm ready to try, Luke. I think I'm ready. But…I don't really know where to start."

He smiled gently at me, encouragingly. "Okay. Don't worry, we'll start slow." I glanced down to his chest, where he wore his knife sling…the weapon encased within. Suddenly contemplating the act of wielding the very thing that had taken my life, I was acutely aware of its presence across Luke's torso. I was staring, I knew, but I couldn't pull my eyes away…almost worried that now that I had decided to handle the thing, it would leap from its sheath and come after me. I was ready, but still not quite that ready. Luke saw me looking, and guessed correctly. "Tomorrow. We'll start tomorrow."

I nodded nervously and sighed. "Okay."

I worried all night long, reliving the sensation of the knife sliding into my stomach, sliding out again before the pain began to reach my brain. The blood spilling out…my body growing cold, my spilt blood feeling warmer than my cooling skin…oh lord, the blood…I jumped, smacking my hand down onto the ground, my tail in a tizzy as I woke from the nightmare. It was going to be a long night.

…

…

…

Apparently I had fallen back asleep at some point, because Luke came by early and I woke to his gentle pounding on the tree's trunk. I groaned as I woke, lifting myself into a sitting position. Luke came just inside the door and crouched down low.

"Rough night?" he asked softly. He understood. I nodded a little pathetically as he crawled in closer. "It's alright. Let's get some good food in you to start the day, then we'll work on getting rid of that nightmare." I nodded again, managing a smile this time. He must have heard me thrashing overnight. I was overcome by his sensitivity and understanding and felt as long as Luke was with me, I might be able to get somewhere with my fear. Luke got up and left to allow me time to get myself together. I met him at the fire pit, ate some breakfast before I could start worrying again, and followed him off into a quiet area of the clearing while the rest of the clan busied themselves with their own tasks.

Luke had clearly prepared for this. Once we were sitting comfortably, he pulled the sling over his head and held the sheath with knife encased in his hands. He talked a little about knifecraft among the Na'vi, the honing of the blade (most of which were ikran teeth), the setting of the blade in the handle, and the carving of the handle itself. It was really quite an art form. He showed me the handle of his knife, explaining each of the intricate carvings, some done by other members of the clan, a real symbol of unity having so many hands each contributing tiny decorative marks to the weapon. I sighed deeply, steeling myself, and then took the knife, still sheathed, from his hands. I ran my fingers over the carvings in the handle and the fine weave of the scabbard. It was made of tough leather, stained different shades or made from different hides. I admitted to Luke I had never looked so closely at it before.

He let me hold onto it while he talked some more about the knives of the Na'vi. I think he did it so I could hear the positive side of knife use, and it did seem to be helping. I saw the knife I held in my hands as not so much a weapon as a tool, a very beautiful and elegant one. As he talked, I looked from the knife up at Luke. Without his sling, he looked very…bare. He wasn't wearing a waist guard that day, and without any upper adornments at all, save a couple of arm bands, I saw that he really was quite toned. His musculature wasn't as bulky as Jake's I noticed, but being a hybrid I supposed had still given him that slight edge, mass-wise, over the pure Na'vi men. I listened to what he was saying, very closely, and admired him at the same time. He cared so much to be doing this for me, to have put so much thought into it. He was a beautiful person, inside and out.

"Okay," he said at last, and scooched toward me, his knees brushing mine as he stationed himself in front of me. I was feeling a bit raw and exposed as it was, and the contact made me shiver a little. He reached for my hands and held the knife with me. "Do you want to unsheathe it, or you want me to?" There was a tense moment as I decided which would be less likely to cause me to panic, but eventually we decided together it might be best if I had control over it, to begin with. Luke worked me through the process of unsheathing the blade and replacing it again. He talked as we worked, demonstrating and explaining that the knife was sharp, but not so sharp as to cut without some energy put into the strike, otherwise it would cut right through its scabbard. He took the blade from me and pressed it gently to his thigh which made me shudder, but made the point clearly…it did not damage him in the least. He didn't even suggest that I try laying it against my own skin, for which I was grateful.

Luke showed me how to hold the knife and some basic throwing techniques. "I think it's best if we focus on the knife going away from you right now," he said with a smile. I grinned back, finally getting into the idea of wielding this tool and letting go of the blind fear. I was holding the knife, unsheathed, practicing the different holds he was showing me.

"Okay, Jenna. You wanna try out some throws?" He was encouraged by my attitude, and I was too, truth be told. I was feeling good. I was feeling confidant.

"Yeah, okay," I agreed, and stood with knife in hand to follow Luke. As I stood, my grip slipped a little and the hilt slid in my grasp. The knife rotated in my slack fingers and I shrieked a little, dropping the blade and leaping backward, feeling like a complete moron even as I did it. Luke was right there, a hand on my arm, as I panted in a near panic, despite myself.

"Jenna…" I heard him say, in a faraway voice. Then, more clearly, "Jenna!" I came to and found Luke staring straight into my eyes. He had a hand around the back of my neck while the other held my own hand close to his chest, over his heart. The knife remained in the dirt, harmless once more. "Jenna. It's okay." He was concerned, but he was firm and very calm. I believed him and calmed myself, breathing deep.

"I'm sorry," I managed, shaking my head.

"It's okay. I know this is hard."

I took a minute to regain control over my breathing and, steeling myself again, looked at Luke and nodded. "I'm ready to try some throws. Really." He let go of my neck but kept my hand as he reached down for the knife. I held him short. "No, I can do it. I want to," I assured him as he stood back up. I leaned down and picked the knife up out of the dirt. I forced myself to see the ornate decoration of the hilt and the fine sheen of the blade. I even held it up and blew the dirt off it. Luke smiled gently, encouragingly, and held up the sling and sheath.

"We'll carry it sheathed. For safety." I nodded and slid the blade into place. Luke nodded, pleased, and took the sling from me, holding it up over my head and draping it appropriately around my torso. He adjusted it slightly awkwardly around my chest until I gave him a hand to nestle it into the right spot. He gave me a long look and asked, "Alright?" before we headed out again.

I was hyper aware of the weapon…no, the tool…around my torso, but was comfortable carrying it in its thick leather sheath. I knew it wouldn't hurt me in there, but I could still feel its weight. It was mid-morning by this time, the time Jake was usually ready to head off to his own tasks and duties in the forest, and sure enough we passed by the Oloeyktan as he was just settling his own gear into place around his torso. He glanced up and smiled at Luke and I as we passed close. He noticed the sling around my body and came up to us with a questioning grin.

"What's happening today?" he asked, glancing between Luke and myself.

"Knife throwing," Luke said with a smile and a gleam in his eye. Jake raised his eyebrows, incredulous, his grin growing.

"Knife throwing? Really?" He looked at me and I gave him a toothy, nervous smile. "Wow, Jenna." He was pleased, and I felt even more encouraged. He looked at Luke and asked, "Do you want another set of hands, to help?" Luke looked ready to deflect Jake's offer but I blurted out first.

"That would be terrific," I burbled, nervous and glad for all the male comfort I could have for this attempt at handling the weapon responsible for my demise as a human. Jake smiled warmly at me. He understood, I thought. I hoped Luke would be alright with it, too.

"That okay, brother?" Jake asked Luke in a low tone, open and friendly. Luke smiled and nodded. He may have hesitated a split second, but my jittering nerves didn't really notice. I gripped the sling around me as we moved off again, toward the opposite edge of the clearing.

We reached a clear spot, away from the main goings-on of the rest of the tribe. The area looked set up for just this activity. There was a clear space set between the trees, and a large plank wrapped firmly around the far trunk, held in place by a series of ropes and rocks. Nothing to harm the living tree beyond, and no other trees in range, not without putting forth some serious effort, at least. I thought Luke or Jake would probably be able to hit one of those trees from here, but I would be lucky to reach the plank, I thought.

Luke continued the lesson. He seemed a little hesitant at first, as Jake stood back and let him speak, but gained momentum again and was soon talking as easily as he had been with just me as an audience. I didn't know what it was about Jake…he struck a very imposing and intimidating figure right off the bat, but he seemed to encourage a rapid shift back into comfortable territory, somehow. It seemed it wasn't only me who felt that effect, at least, and it made me even more comfortable around Jake and very glad he was there for support.

Luke had me handle the knife again, going through the different holds in the new environment. He took nothing for granted; every new thing he treated as a whole new ballgame, and I was surprised to realize how much I needed that. The knife was becoming more familiar to me, but every new element sent me into a bit of a tailspin, and I would have dissolved in panic if not for Luke's patient manner, calmly taking me through each new added element until I was holding the knife appropriately, even by the blade, which I would have to do to throw it properly. Even the new location was a new, unknown element.

I was amazed by how quickly I became accustomed to the knife in my hands, even out in the open, able to hold it by hilt or blade, and even learning to spin it with my fingers a little. I was also shocked by how quickly my confidence was shaken whenever I got a little too ambitious and the blade grazed harmlessly across my skin if my grip slipped. Again, new elements. Jake and Luke were amazing, though. They both spoke to me, complementing each other as they explained different tips and tricks. They were a united front in helping me through this. They never lost patience with me, and were nothing but understanding whenever I panicked and dropped the weapon…tool. I even became accustomed to that, though, and got to the point where I would swiftly bend down and retrieve it again, comfortable in the knowledge that it wasn't going to bite or stab me under its own power. More than anything, that was the fact that was pressed upon me: the knife was not able to hurt me under its own power. My fear of the thing itself was diminishing. I realized it was the intent behind it that I needed to be aware of.

Finally, it came time to try some throwing. Jake and Luke together decided that a horizontal toss out in front of me might be the best point to start from, so I wouldn't have to worry about chucking the thing over my shoulder if I lost my nerve and my fingers slackened involuntarily. I tried to prepare. The toss would necessarily bring the blade very close to my abdomen…very, very close to the wound my human body had suffered. I tightened up. I tried to let go a little, but only managed to hunch over and scoot my feet further back. It wasn't going to work that way, and I knew it. I looked up at Luke who was looking glad I had paused to ask for assistance.

Luke talked me through the stance again, patiently, his hands gently pushing my shoulders back to open up my torso again and pulling my arm out in front of me a bit to give the swing more room. I tried to comply, but found myself involuntarily hunching again as long as the knife was in front of me with the intent of being hurled through the air. Luke tried a couple of times, never losing any patience with me, but after we had repeated the same progression twice, I heard Jake stand up and come up behind me.

"Here, Jenna," he said in a low voice, his hands sliding up under my arms as he had done the day he taught me to use the staff with my body. Whereas Luke had seemed so hesitant to touch me firmly, Jake had no qualms. My nerves being what they were, I felt only gratitude toward the strong and steady grip Jake had on me. He rested his palms flat against my skin, one in front of each shoulder and tried to gently ease them back, opening up my chest. The knife was still in my outstretched hands, though, and opening my chest felt terribly vulnerable. I wasn't thinking very clearly as I stepped back slowly, standing up taller, but not releasing my shoulders back. I stepped back twice and felt Jake move backward with me, but only for those two steps. As I took a third, Jake stopped and I ran right into him, my tail and backside bumping against his body. It shocked me enough to take a sharp breath, and Jake said, "Good!"

He stopped pulling on my shoulders for a moment, letting me hunch again and relax. "Okay, Luke…" Jake rumbled in a low voice. He was stepping in, now, and Luke looked grateful for the assist, if a little dismayed at the method. All the same, Luke stepped forward and I saw Jake point him to a spot just to our left. Then he spoke to me, again. "Now, Jenna, relax. Just keep your eyes on Luke, okay? Just relax. There's no hurry here, there's no judgment. There's nothing to worry about. You're safe here. Just breath, that's all." He spoke calmly, genially, as if he hadn't a care in the world except for my comfort. I breathed in deeply, the very motion forcing me to stop hunching on the inhale. "Good!" Jake said again, but of course I hunched again as I exhaled. I took another deep breath, and this time as I exhaled, Jake held my shoulders back firmly. I felt his encouragement to maintain my stance and tried hard to comply, keeping myself standing tall, my shoulders back, but my breathing suffered for it. I bumped against him several times as I breathed shallowly, in and out, trying to master my own body, trying to fight against the swiftly rising panic of opening up my chest to that deadly weapon in my hand. Luke kept his focus on my eyes, his smile soft, while my own gaze flickered from his face to the ground, to the knife in my hand. Jake didn't give into me an inch, no matter how hard my body rebelled. He held my shoulders back and kept me from hunching by the sheer mass of his own body blocking me. He held me firm, but gentle, murmuring quietly in my ear. What he was saying, I didn't know, but the sound was beginning to soothe me.

It felt like an eternity as my body fought through the panic, but in reality I had only taken a dozen or so gradually deeper breaths before I finally started to relax in the open, upright position Jake was demanding of me. I had finally gained mastery over my panicked bodily response. Jake felt it and his hands eased a little, and as Luke saw it too, his face broke into a wide grin. Jake must be grinning too, I thought, as I saw Luke glance over my shoulder and nod swiftly to the man holding me firm. I smiled, too, and kept breathing. I swayed a little on the spot, dizzy from hyperventilating, willing the relaxation to spread through my whole body, and I bumped against Jake again. Back in my right mind, I felt the bulge of him against my backside. I realized with a little chagrin just how hard I had been bouncing against him in my panic. Still, the feel of him hard against me now was somehow steadying. I took an enormous breath, keeping my shoulders open and free and leaned back a little more, supremely glad that neither of them could hear my thoughts.

"Look where your hand is," Jake mumbled into my ear. Look where my hand was? Look where your…oh. In my tall, open stance, I had brought my arm out in front of me and the knife, still held in my fingers, was safely away from my torso, lifted high above the hypersensitive area of my stomach. "Now," he said as he took a firmer hold of my shoulders again and braced his pelvis against mine. "Throw." Whether Jake ever knew it or not, the feeling of his hell-yeah pressing against my derriere gave me enough reckless desire to overcome the last lingering bits of blind panic, and I flung the knife from me, using the flick of the wrist Luke had shown me. The blade whirled through the air, the smooth polished blade flickering in the sunlight, and it stuck fast in the plank around the tree, about two inches off the ground. I had done it.

Luke gave a whoop and Jake yelled out "Yeah!" as he released me at last. I laughed and exhaled, stunned at having actually done it. I sank to my knees as the two men crouched around me, hands on shoulders. Jake jumped up quickly to retrieve the knife and Luke told me "Nice job, Jenna!". Jake trotted back, holding the knife discreetly and keeping his distance just a little while Luke gave me a hand and I scrambled to my feet. I felt good. I felt like I was stronger already, for having overcome that first panic attack. I was ready for more.

"Again?" Jake asked.

I looked him in the eye and gave him an ever so slightly saucy half-grin. "Hell yeah." Luke let out a single "ha!" but Jake fought to keep a straight face as he shook his head a little and handed me the knife again. It was easier to take it from his hand, this time, and we tried again.

Once I started overcoming the fear, we all discovered I was a pretty good mark, especially with an overhand throw. I had needed Jake's steadying hands only a couple more times before I was able to hold my own position and breathe freely while practicing the throws. We paused for lunch and went back to it. I found that even the short break had allowed the fear to come creeping back in, and was momentarily ashamed until both Luke and Jake assured me that it was normal and to be expected. I would have to overcome this fear in stages. As good as today was going, it was only the first step. Luke told me I would likely have to repeat the process we had gone through today several times over before I could really expect the panic to stop coming back, but that each repeat would take less and less time as the good experiences overtook the bad.

We kept at it, all three of us, until late afternoon when I was tired from throwing and from the emotional toll of the day. The three of us sat around talking, not all about knives and weapon play. It felt so wonderful to have the companionship of those two men, just talking and laughing like a group of old friends. The day was waning and the sun was beginning to cast long shadows when we heard the thunder of hooves and the screech of ikran returning from the day's hunt. By the look of the laden pa'li returning to the clearing, the hunters had found the great herd again before it had moved off completely and had taken their choice of yerik, the mass effort paying off in plenty for the clan. What we wouldn't consume in the next couple of meals would be preserved in a variety of ways for the days to come.

Jake bid us farewell to greet his hunters back home and help prepare the catch. He gave me a brilliant smile before he swept away, leaving me in Luke's company once more. We chatted for a bit longer and our conversation brought us back to knives once again.

"Luke, I should really practice a little every day, if I can, shouldn't I? To keep the fear from creeping back in?" He nodded at me, serious and thoughtful. As difficult as the day had been, I recognized that all the hard work would easily go slipping backward if I didn't keep trying. "I should probably carry one, as well, I suppose. How would I go about, uh…procuring a knife of my own?"

"I'll see what I can do in the morning," he said. It didn't sound like it would be a terribly difficult thing. Then he smiled and laughed a little. "Jenna, I never thought I would hear you ask that."

"Oh, you'd be surprised what things I'll ask, given the time to think of them." I smiled and laughed to myself, thinking of Jake again and questioning him about his manhood.

"Yeah, I don't doubt it," Luke replied, a sly grin on his lips. Oh lord, Jake hadn't told him, had he? No, that didn't seem likely. "You do have a certain way of just asking what's on your mind." I grinned sheepishly, knowing it was true.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry about that." I mumbled, but still smiling my sheepish grin. I liked feeling that Luke knew me so well.

"Don't be," he replied in a low treble and as we were sitting cross legged on the ground, he laid a hand on my thigh. He let it stay there, warming my skin, and I laid my own hand on top of his, curling my fingers around the side of his palm a little. We smiled at each other for a while longer and before it could turn awkward, or wonderful, a delicious scent of dinner came wafting across the clearing. My tummy grumbled audibly and Luke smiled wider, his fangs glinting in the corners of his lips. He slid his hand down my thigh lightly and stood up, offering me a hand. We made our way to the gathering and ate, finally going our own ways after we were satiated. Jake had been grouped with his hunters and although we didn't get a chance to talk again that evening, he flashed me a giant grin when I caught his eye on my way back to my hollow.

The day had been emotionally charged, that was for sure. I idly picked up my weaving supplies and began a new pattern…a sheath for a new knife. Eventually, my eyes blurred so I could no longer see the strips of leather in my hands. I laid them aside and scuffled over onto the squishy mat, closing my eyes and letting sleep take me into the dreamscape of Pandora. That night, I dreamed of a man coming to me under the moonlight. He held a knife shaped only vaguely like a knife, but I didn't fear him. Rather, he took the un-knife-like blade and slit the cords of my garments from my body, whisking me away from all pain and death and into the most wonderful oblivion. The man was familiar, but when I awoke in the middle of the night, I couldn't remember if he looked more like Luke, or more like Jake.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Over the next few days, Luke procured me a knife. Many of the people had carved their own unique contribution into the hilt for me. It was a beautiful gift, indeed, and I was touched. I finished weaving my sheath, under the instruction of my fellow weavers to ensure it was strong and suitable, and they helped me fashion a hip sling to carry it securely. The torso sling was, understandably, awkward for the women. Jake and his hunters did not need to go out every day what with the bountiful hunt from the previous several days, and so I saw more of Jake over those days than I had since Luke had been away at the lab. We had good times for the most part, all three of us going out into the forest together and scouting around, expanding my knowledge of the language, the various plants and names, and laughing and joking with each other while we did. Occasionally I felt a slight tension between the two men, but it never came out into the open as it had the day Jake had ordered Luke to go. I tried not to let it bother me. It was between them to figure it out, I decided.

Jake soon had to go and accompany the hunt again as our food supplies were consumed, and I found I missed his absence when he was away, suddenly. Luke did not, although he did try harder to be friendly with Jake at mealtimes, once Jake was no longer spending whole days with us.

At the end of that week, or probably about seven days after I had first held the knife, I guessed, after a particularly grueling day of riding out to different sites with Luke and practicing throws and knife handling as well as plenty of fruit gathering with the elder women and practice with the harder aspects of Na'vi sentence structure, I decided to retire early to my hollow, nabbing some food and bringing it with me away from the main crowd. Luke had offered to accompany me and although I had been tempted, I declined. I needed the time away to recharge a little, and he understood. I ate in relative peace and sat in solitude when I was done, letting my stomach work on my freshly eaten meal and closing my eyes to steady my soul. It was my own form of meditation, and it had been awhile since I had practiced it. A very long while. I had lost touch with myself, somewhere back on Earth, and now I found that I was finding myself again, piece by piece, here on this planet. I was feeling peaceful and calm when I heard a thumping of feet coming closer. I kept my eyes closed, feeling just a little grim that Luke would be interrupting me now, but only just. I enjoyed Luke's company greatly and would greet him gladly…in just a moment. I sensed through my closed eyelids that the man had come to the door, as his body blocked the dim firelight from filtering through. I opened my eyes, prepared to meet Luke and see what was on his mind. It was Jake. He was standing half in the doorway, a hand on the trunk's edge, as if wary of interrupting my reverie.

"Kaltxi, ma Jenna," he rumbled. I had to admit, I really loved the way the language rumbled in his chest and rolled off his tongue. I had been missing him, these past few days, and something swirled in my middle. It had nothing to do with dinner.

"Kaltxi, Jake," I greeted. I knew "ma" was a form of endearment, but I wasn't ready to say that much to Jake. I would have meant it, but was afraid of what it would mean if said aloud. Jake didn't seem dismayed by its absence. "Come in," I invited, and he complied, stepping inside and leaning back against the wall of the trunk.

"You've had a busy day, today," he said genially. It was true, and I wasn't surprised he had known it. He was a very good leader, and kept good tabs on his clansmen and women. I nodded my agreement and smiled up at him. "How's the knife work going? You've gotten used to your new one, by now?"

"Yes. I didn't realize what a big difference size and shape makes, but this one really seems to suit me, I think." I laid a hand across my sheathed knife, laying on the floor next to my mat. I really had come to like the tool, amazingly enough. "I feel like I'm finally gaining some headway over the panic attacks. I can usually stave them off, now," I told him, pleased with my progress, and quite pleased he had asked. Interrupted I may have been, but I found I didn't mind it at all.

Jake smiled and sighed. He nodded at my knife. "That was one of my first. It's a good blade."

"This was yours?" I exclaimed, pulling the knife from the sheath and examining it again, new appreciation for it dawning in my heart.

"It's been remade, for you. But yes, the blade was mine." He paused and I noticed him shifting a little against the wall as I kept silent. "Never had a sheath so nice, though. My weaving was awful," he said with a low chuckle. I just held the knife dearly with both hands, one around the hilt, one gently on the blade itself. Finally, I looked up at Jake's face.

"Jake," I half whispered at the man in silhouette, who just stood quietly, letting me speak. "It was you who gave me the courage to throw that knife. Just…hmmm, the feel of you…right there, pressed up against me."

"You were sexy as hell, throwing that knife, Jenna. Putting aside your fear like that." He sighed long and loud, his eyes intent and fixed on mine.

I resheathed the blade and stood up. Jake was already stepping toward me. He reached for my face as I reached for his hips. We collided in a passionate kiss, and as I felt his tongue against mine, I realized just exactly how much I had wanted to kiss him again. It was a lot. I was just remembering that Jake had said we couldn't do this again when he pressed his body against mine. Ohhh…hell…yes. I grabbed his hips and wrenched them roughly against me, making Jake gasp and letting a soft groan escape my own throat as his mouth let go of mine momentarily. He pressed against me harder, moving me back into the shadows.

I felt his fingers plucking at the strings holding my loincloth on my hips as we kept kissing, rapidly losing our sense of place. Just as my fingers had worked their way inside the lining of Jake's own loincloth, I heard a voice calling me from a short distance away. It sounded like Luke. Jake had heard it too and he pulled his face from mine as I pulled my fingers out of, well, what served for his pants. He licked his lips, swallowing hard, panting hard, as he glanced around in the direction of the voice, then back at me. I was alarmed, as was Jake, and we hurriedly pulled away from each other. Jake cast one more glance toward the voice, hastily grabbed my cheeks in his hands and gave me one more kiss, tender and full, the sweetest and most sincere apology in his eyes. He turned like a spooked animal then, and bounded out the door with only a slight stumble as he yanked his cloth straight again.

I saw the flicker of a man's shadow and heard Luke's voice, just outside. "Jake! Hey, man, everything okay?"

I saw Jake pause for just a single step, glancing over at his fellow man. "Oh, yeah, fine, I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright?" And he was off again, his footsteps softly fading into silence. I snapped to and quickly twisted the ties of my loincloth together, figuring that retying them when Luke came in would probably be a bit too obvious. He poked his head around the corner just as I was settling back down on the ground, trying to calm myself.

"Hey Jenna, sorry to disturb you so late…" he looked genuinely apologetic. I wondered what his face would have looked like if he had happened to come by with less announcement.

"It's alright Luke, what's up?"

"Well, I just got a report back from the first spot we laced with those insects…the lab guys say they're working! I'm gonna go and check it out tomorrow and wondered if you were up for another ride? I know today was a long day," he finished, his enthusiasm waning a little as I hesitated.

"Uh, Luke, I'm really spent tonight. Can I decide in the morning?"

"Oh, that's fine Jenna. I'm sorry to spring it on you like this." He lingered still in the doorway. "You alright? You look a little tense." He glanced back over his shoulder in the direction Jake had gone. Then back at me. He was a very intelligent man. It wasn't going to take him long to put two and two together if I stayed quiet too long. If he hadn't already, that is. And I still resisted telling him whatever was or was not developing between Jake and me. How could I tell him something I didn't even know myself?

"No, I'm fine. Really. I just need to see Jake first thing in the morning, that's all," I said, in what I hoped was a convincing enough tone. It was true after all…I needed to speak to Jake and figure out what this was between us. We seemed to have been doing a fine job being friendly with each other, despite the poignant attraction I still felt toward the man. This, tonight…well, it was certainly not just friendly flirting, on either of our parts, that was for sure.

"Okay," Luke said lightly, his voice telling me he wasn't totally convinced, but he smiled easily enough and bid me good night. I rushed to tell him I was glad the insects were working and he smiled a little more warmly before he turned and pounded away, himself.

I sat back down, my mind awhirl. I could still taste Jake on my lips and feel his fingers running down my body. I was pretty sure what that first part had been about…but what was that last kiss? It was tender. Dare I say it? It was…loving. Longing. I'd be kidding myself if I said I hadn't kissed him back in kind. I laid down and tried to quiet my mind. It was going to be a restless night.

…

…

…

When I woke the next morning, I was surprised to find the sun had not fully risen yet. It was early for me. With my purpose in mind, though, I roused myself quickly and headed out to find Jake. I knew he rose early too, so maybe this was fortuitous. I wandered off in the direction he often bounded toward when he was retiring for the night, hoping to spy him up and about. I strode across the clearing, weaving from side to side a bit, searching and peering about casually. At a bit of a loss and running out of ground as I neared the opposite end of the clearing without any sign of Jake, I stopped and looked around more obviously, still trying to be casual.

Jake was on the floor in his own hollow, adjusting his garments and getting ready for the day when he spied me. He stared for a moment, but I didn't see him until he called out softly into the new light. "Jenna?"

I whirled in his direction. Oh, thank Eywa, I thought. I didn't have to keep wandering aimlessly. I made my way over to his hollow, standing in his doorway as he had done last night in mine. "Hi, good morning," I stammered quietly.

He sat at the ground looking up at me, waiting for more. "…are you alright?" How could he even ask such a thing? I frowned in misery and invited myself in.

"No," I burbled and slunk down next to him, desperate for an explanation. He scooted aside and gave me room to join him on the mat, turning to face me attentively. "Jake, last night…what was that? What would it have been…if Luke…?" He reached out and held my arms, stroking them lightly up and down. He sighed deeply and was quiet for a moment. I waited for him.

"That…Jenna…was me…falling for you." His gaze fell to the ground between our crossed ankles, and he sighed deeply again. It seemed even an endless sigh still wouldn't do to release what Jake was feeling.

"Oh," I whispered in a tiny exhalation. I hadn't expected that. It scared me a little to hear him say it, and if I was honest with myself, it was because I was starting to feel the same way toward Jake. I wasn't ready to admit that, though, because I couldn't see a solution where the Oloeyktan of this mighty tribe would or could be bound to an inept interloper, some random human who had managed to get stuck in someone else's avatar, who couldn't even speak his language properly, who even balked at hunting and would probably always be afraid of handling a knife, just a little bit. What was Jake doing, falling in love with me?

I stared at the ground, too, just thinking and feeling. I didn't know what to do. I settled on telling him the truth.

"Jake, I…I care about you. So much. You're an incredible man, and I just…I love the times we spend together. All of them. I really do have a lot of feelings for you, Jake…" I was babbling, trying not to tell him that I wasn't ready to say that I did, in fact, love him. Maybe that was a hint that I didn't really, not yet. But I didn't want to say that to him, either. "Oh, this isn't coming out right at all," I mumbled. Jake looked up at me, a sympathetic sad smile on his face. He just couldn't stop caring, could he? And I couldn't either. I didn't want to. What I really wanted was to let the feelings I had in my heart for this man grow into the wild passions they were capable of. I wanted so badly to love him, without question. Why couldn't I just be happy to be alive and finding a place with the Omaticaya? I reached out to hold his face in my hand and stroked his cheek gently with my thumb. I willed him to understand, to forgive me my bumblings and uncertainty. He sighed and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, they held a question. "Jenna, would you let me kiss you again? Can we finish our kiss?" I was almost ready to shout out that I loved him, then, always had and always would.

Instead, my heart melting at his request, I managed in a weak whisper, "Yes. I would like that. Very much." Jake rolled forward and crawled over on top of me on hands and knees so I had to lean back, bracing against the ground. His lips met mine and he kissed me gently, the tip of his tongue just brushing my lips as his jaws moved slowly with mine. As our intensity slowly grew, he scooted a little further forward over me, running a hand behind my back and stroking down my side. I felt his fingers begin pulling at my strings again but before I could register the implications, Jake pulled his face away from mine, just for a moment, cleared his throat, and moved his hand firmly back around behind me. He intended this to be a kiss, only.

I reached for his lips, reengaging his jaws and he accepted. My arms were starting to shake, holding me up in a rather precarious position behind me, so I slowly leaned back down onto my elbows, trying to pull Jake down with me. The arm behind my back took a firmer hold and he came with me, lowering me down. I tested his hold; I reached one arm up and over his shoulders, stroking his tightened muscles, feeling into the creases and bulges. His hold was secure. He sighed and laid me down fully on my back, his arm still pinned underneath me, quite possibly on purpose, while his other held his bulk up off of my chest. I felt his hips settle on top of me, though, and his legs intertwine with mine. Still we kissed, slowly. Our intensity gradually increased again, and he ground his hips against me, just once, before he pulled away again, panting, and halting his body's disobedience. He had impressive control, I had to admit. I could feel him very intimately through the thin cloth. He had me pinned underneath him and I was ready to let him have whatever he wanted, though I was fighting the urge to writhe back against him. I knew he was trying to keep his composure, and I didn't want to make it harder for him. Again, I reached for his mouth and he complied, nestling back into me.

We kissed for a little while longer until we were spending more time gazing at each other than actually lip locked. Jake slid off of me to one side, carefully extracting his pinned arm. I sighed as he slid off of me, regretting just a little his iron control, and a little ashamed at my own lack thereof. I sat up and Jake followed suit. I leaned over to him and rested my forehead against his temple, one arm slung around his back.

"Jake, where does this leave us?" I asked him in a quiet voice. He clearly did not want to act on whatever feelings he had for me…or act more than he had already.

"I don't know," he replied, idly fingering my braided locks. I was silent for a moment. But just a moment.

"Friends, still, I hope?" His fingers paused and I felt his cheek smile a little. He pulled his head around to face me and I saw the pensive smile he wore.

"Yes," he said simply. It wasn't completely true, and I knew it. Jake's expression told me he knew it, too, but whatever else was going on, I feared losing his friendship. I would have to take whatever Jake was willing to give.

We got up together, dusting ourselves off a bit, straightening our garments. As little material as there was to the loincloths, I was really amazed how well it covered Jake's still-rigid anatomy.

"You know, that's really very impressive," I said in a low voice, nodding at his loincloth in an effort to make good on the 'friends' offer. He grinned a wicked half-smile, baring his fangs and tilting his head. Oh yes, he knew the effect it had.

"Hell yeah," he replied, with an "of course" kind of tone. I laughed and blushed, realizing my faux pas, but of course it wasn't a terribly inaccurate one.

"No, I meant…the cloth. Covers things pretty impressively," I chortled, embarrassed, but tickled at Jake's response. Jake grinned wider and glanced down at himself, pulling the loose hanging flap aside and letting it fall into place again. I caught a glimpse of him pressed tight against the cloth underneath there. "Looks like the flap is the key," I said, still trying to overcome my chuckles.

"Yeah, it does the job," he rumbled. Damn, I loved that rumble.

The sun was fully risen by that point, and probably had been for at least half an hour, though of course we hadn't been aware of its ascent. It was time to get back to the normal routine of the day.

"I'd better go…" I almost said, 'to find Luke', but thought better of it. Jake nodded. He had his own duties for the day, himself, and he had already been held up enough. I walked back over to him and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, smiling warmly as I turned again to go start my day. He smiled and looked genuinely touched. A few steps outside his door, I turned to look back. He was still watching me go, still smiling. I gave him a big grin and turned again, bounding lightly across the ground and out of sight. I didn't know exactly what the status between me and Jake was or would become, but I felt good for the time being and decided to roll with it.

I was headed back to my hollow to gather my belongings when I thought of Luke. He had wanted me to go somewhere with him today. I considered, and thought I might, when I just happened to lick my lip and taste Jake's saliva, drying on my mouth. I halted, realizing Luke would smell Jake all over me. Still unwilling to incite any kind of jealousy, I detoured to the river to scrub quickly before heading back to my hollow. It was still very early. I had plenty of time.

I met Luke at breakfast and told him I would accompany him on the ride. He broke into a wide grin and I was genuinely pleased to face spending the day in the man's charming company. We went out shortly after the meal and were gone all day. It was fascinating to finally see the bugs at work. They were clearly very efficient at degrading the metal into fine powdery minerals. Luke took several samples, metal powder and insects, to analyze back at the lab, and made tons of general notes, observing the pattern of degradation, colony locations, and the like. It was exciting to see such hard work finally paying off, and to see him so thrilled with it fueled my own elation. He may have been a very dedicated, serious scientist, but he was not the stuffy sort to hide away his feelings. He let them show, freely and clearly. I loved his spirit and laughed with him as he threw his fists to the sky and danced in place as we saw the evidence of his hard work coming to fruition. We rode to several different sites that day, observing the patterns between findings. The type of metal counted a great deal in the bugs' ability to degrade it, as expected, but all of the sites showed very promising signs. Time would tell if there was a limit to how much could be broken down. We rode back in high spirits, laughing and joking, discussing the research, the possibilities, the future…and our futures.

"What do you really think about doing, here, Jenna? I mean long term," Luke asked eventually, curious and jovial.

"You know, I really don't know. I've been here for, what, five weeks? Six weeks? And I'm still just kind of living from day to day. I mean, I want to contribute to the clan, learn to hunt, learn the language, but as far as long term goals and aspirations…" I shrugged, not knowing where I was going with it. Thoughts of Jake crossed my mind, but they seemed terribly impractical and inappropriate. I dampened them with thoughts of Luke…but that only led to confusion, and a hint of guilt. I thought of getting older, becoming one amidst the elder women, weaving my baskets and bowls but alone and bitter, instead of happily satisfied with life. It made me sad. Trying to quell the sadness and unease I felt about my future, I piped up with the first thought to come to me. "Maybe I'll try traveling. There's a lot to this world we haven't seen, maybe I could do some exploring. The lab people want to do that, don't they? I could probably be useful to them on a trek like that." I hadn't been back to see them at all but Luke spoke of them often enough, and I knew that they were indeed contemplating exploring other regions. I had gotten the impression, also, that they no longer were terribly concerned about sampling my cerebral fluid or anything else. Luke had gone to great lengths to put my mind at ease about that and I was beginning to trust him on that.

As the offhand thought of travel blossomed in my mind, I realized it would mean leaving both Jake and Luke behind. Jake could not just up and leave his clan, nor would he, and Luke, although he carried fewer responsibilities to the clan than Jake, would likely not be willing to just drop his research and leave with me, either. His work was important to everyone on Pandora, and he felt that responsibility very deeply.

Luke was quiet for a moment. Then, "Yeah, they're thinking of it. Trying to gather some info from the satellites we still have up there, seek out other climates." He didn't sound terribly enthused. I didn't think he would. But it would solve the growing dilemma I was feeling, bouncing between the two men in my heart, to up and leave and let my heated emotions cool for awhile. And perhaps theirs. "You know, I don't want you to leave, Jenna. Even temporarily. I don't want you to go." His tone was low and calm. I looked over at him as we rode along and found him gazing at me with a small smile. He would never deny me going if I wanted to go, but the truth was…I didn't want to leave him, either. I smiled kindly back at him.

"I know, Luke. I don't really want to go, either. I just…I think about my future here, and it's hard to imagine. It's hard to see. Like it's been hidden from me, or it doesn't exist."

"Oh, Jenna, that's not true. Your arrival here was nothing short of miraculous. Eywa has touched you, honey, you have a purpose here."

His term of endearment did not go unnoticed, and as I spun back to face him, he didn't look embarrassed by it in the least. He just smiled warmly at me. I heard his words, and I even just about believed them. I didn't say to him though, that I thought my purpose may not be a good one…or maybe I had already fulfilled it. Having a purpose did not guarantee my future, and I suspected he knew it too. Luke was too quick not to think of all the angles, but he was trying to reassure me, and I let him. I did feel better, believing in the possibilities.

Later in the week, Luke asked if I would come with him on an overnight journey to reach the further test sites and scout for other wreckage along the way. It would be just the two of us, and would carry a certain amount of risk venturing forth deep into the Pandoran forests on our own, but I felt I was up for the challenge and I was secure with Luke's protective capabilities. For as much as he was the consummate researcher, he was also a remarkably talented fighter as well. The Na'vi men would frequently scuffle in good-natured play, and Luke's intelligence served him well in combat. He was a quick thinker, and could deliver frighteningly efficient strikes and blows. He was no lightweight, himself. The men didn't fight to injure each other, but I could easily see how Luke's play could turn ferocious when it needed to. Jake, I noticed, only rarely engaged in the play fighting…only when one of the young men were feeling ambitious and reckless, and had challenged the Oloeyktan into it. He never seriously injured anyone, but those fights always ended with bruises and likely a few cuts, and plenty of good natured smiles and laughs as the young upstarts recognized the mistake of their hubris. Jake's display of skill with the staff that day in the woods was only a small portion of his combative talents, and his play fighting was still quite clearly very restrained from his full capabilities. No, neither Jake nor Luke had much to fear from the wilds of Pandora, if they were on their guard.

As it was, Jake and I seemed to be getting along pretty amiably those days, which made me happy. He was friendly and we had good conversations and laughs, especially during evening times as our days wound down. He hadn't mentioned anything about the kiss we had shared, nor did he utter another word about any feelings, and I didn't bring them up either. I was still conflicted, and just too caught up in enjoying his presence to dwell on the weightier emotions that were indeed blossoming in my gut And not just for Jake.

Over the course of several days more, Luke and I planned our trip carefully. Luke's smile was charm itself, and he found occasion to use it frequently. His passion for his project seemed to be spilling over into passion between us, as well, and I was helpless to resist his appeal. He was intelligent, dedicated, focused…and when that attention was turned onto me, he left me a little breathless. He may have been a little shy in touching me with his hands, but his gaze was always steady, soft, and penetrating, all at the same time. He did funny things to me when he gazed at me with such rapt attention. It seemed to do funny things to Jake, too, when Luke looked at me, but I rather doubted they were anything as pleasant as I was feeling.

The night before Luke and I were to strike out, we parted ways shortly after dinner. Luke had to prepare his sample-collecting equipment and record-keeping tools for our early departure, so I bid him farewell and went to continue a weaving project of my own in the solitude of my hollow, our other supplies already packed away and ready to go in the morning. Jake caught me before I could reach my destination, though, calling me as I passed by.

"Jenna…"

"Kaltxi, Jake," I greeted, turning toward his voice and smiling. I was pleased to share a bit of his company before heading out for the two days with Luke.

"Kaltxi, Jenna," he replied, and smiled. He stepped close and grasped my hand, very tenderly. "Be careful out there, okay? Keep your eyes open." I nodded. "Your knife at the ready." I smiled. "Nose to the wind." I laughed.

"Jake, I know! I will be careful, I promise," I assured him. He smiled a toothy grin, his fangs glinting in the firelight. He held me with a soft gaze and I smiled back up at him for a long moment. It was the first time since we had last kissed that he had looked at me like that. "Was that all you wanted to say, Jake?" I said quietly.

Jake uttered a quiet, "ah" and dropped his gaze down to my hand, still clasped in his. He looked awkward. It was hard to see him as the mighty warrior when he was speechless like this. He looked very much the sweet lover, instead. I knew him as both. Before I could stop myself, I reached up to his chin and held him steady, stepping toward him and placing a soft kiss on his warm lips. He kissed me back and stepped backward into the shadow of the copse of trees that stood nearby, pulling me with him. I followed him, step for step, and our delicate kiss quickly blossomed into something altogether more passionate. His hands caressed my face, my ears, down my neck and my shoulders, down my waist, over my hips, and back up again as my own hands roved over his skin, enjoying the ripple of muscle as he worked my body over.

Jake pulled his mouth from mine and nibbled along my jaw, licking my neck. I gasped quietly and I felt Jake's low growl buried in my skin. His hands slid down my back, resting low on my hips, his fingers working their way under the strings of my garments. I reached around behind him, running a hand down his ripped back and cupped his tail, holding him firmly, while I wiggled my fingers, and eventually my hand, into his own loincloth. He grabbed me as my fingers curled around him. He started pressing against me, trapping my hand between us, as I squeezed every time he pulled away. Suddenly he was still and he groaned, just pressing tightly against me. I heard him mumble something against my neck.

"Jake?" I whispered.

"No," he grunted quietly, lifting his head enough to free his lips to speak more clearly. I writhed against him, frustrated. I knew I ought to be exercising some of my own willpower, but I was frustrated by Jake's tease.

"Oh, Jake…" I growled at him, squeezing him again. He moaned and buckled against me. He kissed me again, fiercely. When he came up for air, he was breathing heavily, panting hard, gasping for breath.

"It's not right, Jenna…" he breathed, fighting hard to control himself.

"It's alright, Jake…really, it is," I implored him. As determinedly friendly as I was being toward Jake, my feelings toward him had not dissipated one bit. Tell him Jenna, I said to myself. Tell him you love him. Say it, you skxawng!

But Jake was regaining control over himself already. His breaths came deeper and slower. He slid his hands back up around my waist. He pulled his pelvis away from me a little even though I still held him tightly, and he rested his forehead on my shoulder. "No, Jenna, I ca-…" he could barely form the words, but I heard the "no" in his body. It rung a deep resounding desolate chord in my heart. He cupped my neck in his hand and laid his temple against mine. "I'm sorry, Jenna. I'm really sorry."

A quiet, angry, and frustrated tear ran down my cheek, not understanding why Jake insisted on doing this. A tiny voice inside my mind chided me for the anger; it was the same voice that had shouted at me to tell him how I felt about him. I had ignored it then, and I ignored it now. But I had to let the anger go all the same…it was unjust, and I knew it. If I couldn't say the words to give Jake a reason to break through whatever his inhibitions were, then I couldn't be angry at him for it. I wanted to run, to get away from there, to rage and cry where Jake couldn't see me, but he held me firm as if he knew. He just held me there, caressing me gently, making me angry at myself for feeling such injustice toward him while he was being so caring and holding me so tenderly. He held me until I could hold him back, my hands finally giving in to the voice in my mind, forgiving him for denying me and trying to accept the situation as it was.

"I am so sorry, Jenna, " he said again, and finally let me go. I nodded, a frown battling the sad grin on my face.

"It's alright Jake. It's okay." Whatever Jake's reason for pulling away, it clearly created a very strong conflict in his own mind. I had the impression from him that he was torturing himself sufficiently on his own…he didn't need my help. We pulled away from each other and I disentangled my hand from his loincloth with a bit of difficulty, Jake grunting only slightly.

"I'll see you off in the morning?" he asked quietly after a moment.

"Yeah," I let out in a big sigh. "I'd like that." He had held me long enough to erase the pain, erase the anger and the frustration. I was saddened, but I still wanted to see his face before we left in the morning. We parted company somewhat reluctantly, and I tried to sleep. Surprisingly, I found myself drifting away pretty quickly, thoroughly spent and in need of rest, although a tear still nestled in the corner of my eye. Sometime in the night, it spilled over and trailed down my cheek. By morning, it had dried completely.

…

…

…

The next morning started early and there was no time for dwelling on could-have-beens from the night before. Jake was there, as promised, and he didn't try to conceal the tender kiss he planted on my cheek before we departed. Luke saw him do it, but didn't say a word. He didn't glare at Jake, he didn't even grimace. But he also wasn't smiling. Jake uttered a phrase in Na'vi to Luke, in a quiet voice. Luke nodded, his face still impassive but reassuring Jake, all the same. I had learned enough Na'vi at that point to understand what Jake had said: "Take care of her." And then he was gone, disappearing into the distance as Luke and I rode out, each on our own mounts, laden with the gear we would need for collecting samples and for camping out on our own in the harsh forest.

My mood improved even more over the course of the day, and although Luke hadn't said anything about Jake at all, his mood seemed to brighten as well as we got into our work. We rode for long stretches in between sites, only visiting two that first day. We would ride in a great sweeping circle, Luke explained, catching two more tomorrow, and scouting for additional wreckage as we rode, though we found none that first day. We talked as we moved along as we always did, stopping to rest for some food occasionally, finally deciding to make camp for the night near a river's edge shortly after the sun had set in full. There was a little grove of trees that would provide good shelter for us, and was unlikely to be along any predator's nighttime path, according to Luke, who had given the area a thorough scouting. I remarked to myself how adept Luke was out in the woods…he simply thrived out here, in his element. I saw him for who he was, that night. Luke was Na'vi first, researcher second. But his unique status in the clan meant he never had to choose one over the other, and he filled both roles completely with such easy grace.

We spoke for a long while in the dark after we had settled in, letting ourselves get sleepy, and I shivered a little against the breeze right off the water. Luke snuggled close, wrapping me in his arms, and I nestled against him, breathing in his own slightly spicy scent. I felt safe in his arms as the haze of sleep descended upon me. I sighed deeply and felt him hold me a little closer. It seemed the most natural thing in the world when he reached up and stroked my cheek softly with his knuckles during a lull in our sleepy and sporadic conversation. I laid a hand on his chest, my fingers idly tracing the line of his pecs, my mind wandering into the solitude of the night.

Luke shifted eventually and I realized at last that my fingers were getting a little personal, running over his nipples again and again. I laid my hand firmly over his ribs to keep it from misbehaving any further.

"I'm sorry, Luke," I said quickly, looking up at him and reviving a little from my near-sleep.

"No, Jenna…" he gazed down at me and smiled. "…I liked it," he said quietly. He reached his other hand around and stroked my chin, then let his fingers fall and brush lightly across my neck. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, easily settling back into my drowsy state, yet still awake enough to feel the gentle caress. Luke's touch was amazingly soft and so steady, as was everything he did. I felt such a profound sense of peace in Luke's arms. I resumed my nipple tracing and let myself feel him. His body was solid and his breathing was deep and rhythmic, but getting ever so slightly quicker. Luke sat up suddenly, pushing me upright with him. I sat up too and turned to look at him, wondering what was up. He knelt before me and looked straight into my eyes, gently, but intently. He smiled softly at me and reached for my cheek again, leaning forward.

"Jenna," he whispered. I couldn't fathom the look in his eye. It was soft, kind, caring. It was longing, and loving, but not desperate. There was no sadness in his gaze, as I had so often seen in Jake's. I wasn't thinking much other than how inviting his lips appeared as I leaned a hand on Luke's thigh, knelt forward, and kissed him. I planted my lips delicately on his, just kissing him. It felt right. It felt natural. I wondered briefly if I was so needy from Jake leaving me cold the night before that I was kissing Luke to make up for it…but I found I was not. I genuinely wanted to kiss the man before me, and something thrilled through me telling me that I had wanted to for some time. And I was genuinely enjoying his feather soft lips stroking mine in return, his fingertips trailing against my skin like a soft breeze. Our tongues met, and he kissed me more deeply. His hands moved softly and slowly over my whole body, feeling every curve, every crease. It was deliberate, and agonizingly sensuous. Slowly, we removed each others garments until we were completely bare in front of each other, though I was never sure afterward which one of us had initiated it. Luke was beautiful, like a masculine angel. I looked him up and down as he calmly watched me do it, taking plenty of time to look at me, himself. His body could have been sculpted marble; he was a vision to behold, bathed in the moonlight.

I stood up on my knees and wiggled closer to him as he rose and did the same. We pressed ourselves together and kissed again. Luke was incredibly hard against me and yet he was easy, gentle with his hands, slow with his tongue. His body hard, his caring soft, he overwhelmed me in my tired state. Eventually, he pulled his mouth from mine, sucking my lips dry as he did so.

"Jenna, are you with me on this?" He was ready. I could feel him pulsing against my groin and I wanted him, completely. I was ready for him. But I hesitated. He had asked the question, and I so badly wanted to say yes to him…but what about Jake? Despite his constant resistance, I did love him, even if I wasn't ready to say it. And yet…with Luke in front of me, ready, willing, and completely supportive and caring… I frowned, frustrated again. I had already engaged in intimacy with Jake; wouldn't it be wrong to do so with Luke, now? I couldn't hurt Luke, not like this. I wouldn't. I pulled away a little but Luke only let me go so far. He looked askance at me, seeing my internal struggle. He cared so much. Too damn much.

"Luke, I…oh, Luke, I want to do this. But it's…it's not that simple for me…" I trailed off. Luke hauled me close to his body again and embraced me tightly. He was still pulsing rock hard against me, but his tone was steady. His body pressed against mine was a terrible tease as I willed myself to back away from him.

"I know, I understand," he whispered in my ear.

But I wrestled against him a little, trying to loosen his hold. "No, you don't…" He squeezed me tight, his sigh hissing out harshly between his teeth. I ceased my useless struggle as he seized me in his tight grasp.

"Jenna, I don't…I don't care what happened between you and Jake. I don't care…I don't want to know…" he released me only just far enough to look me in the eye. His calm expression had given way to a more pained look as he gazed at me, imploring me to understand, to believe him. I wanted to. Oh, I wanted to. He whispered so quietly to me, I could only just hear him. "If you want this…" and he thrust against me, making his intent crystal clear. I gasped, aching so badly I could taste it. "…I will give it to you." He nuzzled my face, breathing his steady hot breath down my neck. "But you have to tell me. I need you to tell me …Jenna …tonight …are you with me?"

I turned and looked deep into his beautiful eyes, his soul shining from them like twin pools of liquid gold. And I did believe him. He knew, maybe not the details, but maybe he knew enough, and he was still ready and willing, right here, right now. I was suffering, and he was offering salvation. I leaned forward and took his face in my hands, kissing his soft lips. He kissed me back and his hands held me close. I nuzzled close to his ear.

"Luke…yes."

It was all the invitation he needed. He shuddered and growled a very quiet, deep grumble, a thunderous purr deep in his chest as he surged into me and laid me down on the ground, carefully but decisively. Intense is just a word…it couldn't compare to the sensations Luke was sending through my body as we merged, his loins grinding hard against my own and his tongue licking every inch of my fevered skin he could reach. It was a delicious feeling.

Luke grunted, sighed, growled and howled as he ground against me again and again, the primal sound of his efforts mingling with my own. Sweat poured from him and trickled down his torso, down his nose, dripping onto my belly. His rapid, rhythmic breathing only faltered as he finally raised his face to the heavens, his eyes rolling upward, a sighing roar emanating from his throat. I felt the massive throb of him inside me and it catalyzed my body's ready response. Through my rapture, I could feel his tail lashing against my ankles, the heat of him consuming me inside and out.

Before the rapturous feelings could dissipate completely, Luke had pulled himself free from me, wincing a little as he did so. I gave him my best attempt at a sympathetic grin for his discomfort, still not completely in my right mind, but he only smiled wide and dipped his head down to my belly, down to my thighs, his braided hair trailing along my abdomen and his queue sliding down my side, coiling on the ground next to us. I opened my eyes wide and inhaled sharply as I realized what he intended. He opened his mouth and softly laid his lips and tongue against my delicate bits. I almost screamed in ecstasy, still extremely sensitized. I was hyper attuned to the slightest whisper of touch, and he knew it. He was kind. He was gentle. I cried out his name, a long shuddering sigh wracking my body as Luke gently licked me all around, inside and out, his tongue slow and his lips feather soft against my skin. He kept lapping until he was satisfied, then kissed me tenderly once more before lifting his face to mine again.

A tear had trickled down each of my cheeks as he had administered to me so lovingly. He crawled up over my prone body, straddling me with hands and knees spread wide. He reached my face licked the tears away, too, then kissed my lips softly. Just once. When I could open my eyes again, I peered up at my lover and found him peering back down at me with a small, sweet smile. I reached up and held his face in my palms, just gazing at him. We stared for a long time at each other like that, contemplative and reflective. Eventually, Luke sighed deeply, his breathing returning to the steady rhythmic tempo that was his norm. He leaned back on his haunches, inviting me to sit up with him. He scooted back against the trunk of a tree, arms open, inviting me in. I wouldn't have refused him for anything. I nestled into his arms again, positioned between his sturdy knees, and laid my arm across his belly, idly sweeping my fingers across his side, his sweat already beginning to dry, my head resting against his chest. Glancing down his stomach, I watched his body relax, folding back inside the pouch of loose skin that held him contained. It was not the normal human set-up, but seemed much more functional than letting things hang so loose. Much more compact when not in use, I thought in very practical fashion, the worry not having a chance yet to settle into place. I had been really astounded at how hard he had been. And he had been working it hard. No wonder he had winced when all was said and done. It had felt incredible, but must have put some serious pressure on him.

I laid a hand low on his abdomen, right above the pouch of loose skin and wonders. "Are you okay?" I inquired softly. Luke hummed and I heard the smile in his voice when he spoke.

"Yes. Ooohh, yes." I smiled against his chest and he caressed my arms, his fingertips occasionally brushing against my breast, not accidentally, I was sure. I laid against him, pensive. Luke had very simply taken control. Once he had my permission, he knew exactly what he wanted and made sure it was exactly what I wanted, too. He wasn't so much a literal hands-on kind of guy, but oh, he had worked that body. I didn't feel shame or guilt with Luke…he had somehow utterly negated those emotions. Luke was easy to be with; he was easy to love.

We talked a little bit in each others' arms as the moon rose high in the night sky. Luke never brought up the subject of love. I rather felt that he was as nervous to bring it up as I was, so we let it lie. We didn't discuss the incredible bond of tsahaylu, either. We just talked, free and easy as we always had, just wrapped in each others' embrace. I fell asleep in his arms, and though I awoke once late in the evening, sometime after the moon had set, I only shifted a little against his bare body before settling again and drifting off once more. Luke slept soundly, his arm fallen down to my lap and his head resting back against the trunk. He snored quietly and I snuggled against him, falling back to sleep with a smile and a sigh.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

We woke up together the next morning. Whether it had been Luke stirring that awakened me, or my early morning wigglings that awakened him, I wasn't sure, but it didn't much matter. We smiled at each other, my own expression maybe a little sheepish, Luke's steady and confidant, as we stretched and regained our scraps of clothing, working out the kinks of the long ride and intense evening activities, finally covering ourselves once again. I was stretching my legs and adjusting my necklace when Luke padded across the ground and took my hand.

"Jenna…thank you for last night," he said with a sweet smile. I smiled back but prepared myself to launch an explanation. Luke never gave me the chance. "That was beautiful. And it can be…whatever it needs to be. Alright?" He spoke gently, his eyes clear and genuine. I smiled wider, so grateful for his understanding. He was making it very easy for me to love him.

"Thank you, Luke," and I brushed his jaw with my fingers. He grinned and soon turned away to continue gathering his belongings. I was wondering just what he felt about last night…he had come across so caring, so intensely loving even without saying it, but it seemed to fade so quickly back into casual friendship now that the morning had come. I had just begun pondering in earnest when Luke spoke again.

"Oh, and, Jenna…?" I turned to look at him. He gave me a long stare, his face soft but otherwise unreadable. "I don't want to complicate things for you. At all. But…" he glanced down and I saw him grin. He looked up again, his smile still in place. "We can do that again, anytime you want." I grinned a goofy smile and glanced down at the ground myself. I couldn't help teasing him a little, in the fashion of our usual easy banter.

"What about whenever you want?" I asked with a half-grin.

"We wouldn't get much of anything else done, if it were up to me," he said in a low growl, his face wickedly ferocious in an instant. We laughed together for a moment as his expression eased into a friendly smile once more. "I mean it, though. Anytime."

We finished gathering our things and ate some breakfast without another word about our evening activities. It was easy not to worry about it, with Luke. He made everything easy. We talked freely about other things and got underway. I enjoyed the solitude with Luke as we rode to the next site. I thought about Jake…and then about Luke…and I knew I was in trouble with my emotions.

The day went without any snags; we found the sites easily enough and Luke took the samples he needed, recorded the important data, and discussed the progress of the project with me. Only a few times during the ride did Luke point us in a slightly out of the way direction to avoid any trouble with potential predators. We never actually encountered any, thanks to his foresight, and I caught myself admiring his skill in reading the land and the environment. He was indeed a very capable man.

Finally, with the sun rapidly waning, we approached Hometree once again. I recognized the now-familiar lay of the land as the sun set in full. We rode by the shining light of the brilliantly colored foliage and at last, came upon the home clearing. Luke and I unburdened our mounts and set them to graze with the other pa'li as Jake came walking up to greet us home. He hadn't waited for us to come find him, and I smiled at that, despite myself. You're not making things any better, Jenna, my sensible voice chided. I know, I replied to it, and gave Jake a big smile in return anyway.

Luke and I were determinedly friendly toward each other as we rejoined the clan and regaled them with some of our findings at the test sites, but the glances we shared were clearly still reminiscent of our recently shared passion. His eyes lingered on mine a little longer, and although I knew he was trying to just let me be as much as possible, the truth was that I was subtly encouraging his attentions. I couldn't help it. Luke was sweet, gentle and kind, but also demanding, unapologetic in his attraction toward me and in pushing my boundaries just far enough. He was fiercely loyal to me, I knew. Unfortunately, while I was terrifically flattered and readily accepted it from him, I was also reminded how my own loyalties were so determinedly split, especially as Jake's attitude deteriorated toward Luke once again. Toward me, Jake was still himself…his strong, confidant, wonderful self. Toward Luke…, well, it was difficult to see any hint of the close friendship they had shared. anymore. I was in serious trouble.

…** …**

…

…** …**

The tall Na'vi male strode purposefully over to his Oloeyktan after the evening meal as the gathered hunters were dispersing for the night. Two days had passed since Luke had taken Jenna on the overnight scouting trip and he had been thinking nonstop of the woman ever since.

"Jake." The Oloeyktan turned to face his clansman and rose slowly to his feet as he digested the purposeful look on Luke's face.

"Luke," Jake greeted the biologist noncommittally with a small nod.

"Can we talk?" Luke was tense but determined, his bearing steady. Jake didn't respond immediately, but just kept a solid gaze on Luke for a moment as he considered. Jake knew what this was about, and didn't much want to discuss her with Luke. But Luke was his fellow clansman…he would hear what he had to say, however reluctantly. Jake nodded and indicated for Luke to follow him a short distance away from the main gathering. When both men had found some relative privacy, Luke got right to the point. He had no illusions that Jake wouldn't know what he had approached him about. "Jake, look, this is getting out of hand." Jake sighed sharply and just stared at Luke. He knew the truth of his brother's words, but had no ready response for it.

"Do you intend to go for Jenna, or not?" Luke asked plainly, steadily. His voice was low and his eyes stern. He was forcing Jake to consider.

"It isn't that simple, and you know it." Jake rumbled in an equally steady voice.

"Bullshit. It's as simple as you want it to be. You're tearing her to pieces with these stupid fucking games." Luke's anger came out in full as he spoke in a deadly calm voice to the Oloeyktan. Jake snarled in response to the accusation, but Luke held firm. "I know you see it," Luke said in a softer tone. Jake glanced down at the ground with a glower; he did see it. He hated being a part of Jenna's growing conflict and confusion. He knew that, as Oloeyktan, he could have his choice of consenting mate, and Luke would probably accept his decision if Jenna shared it, but Jake knew better…he saw the attraction between Jenna and Luke. It was a deadly game they were playing, now. The situation was anything but simple. Luke, of all the people, should know better than to suggest it was.

"You're not exactly making it any easier for her, yourself, _brother_," Jake replied in a low tone, stressing his last word with an intense look. He wasn't going to brush aside the role he had played in this mess, but Jake had seen Luke's demeanor toward the woman…indeed, the man made to effort to hide it. He wasn't blameless, either.

"I know," Luke replied, his voice dropping another notch. He was regretful for causing trouble for Jenna. He hadn't wanted that at all. But he loved the woman deeply. He wanted a life with her, within the clan. He knew the subtle danger of tsahaylu with another person, probably better than most. He knew the danger of bonding with her, as connected as she was with Jake and also to himself, but things could change…time could change the situation, and he was willing to wait. But not if Jake was going to keep yo-yoing back and forth with her.

"Jake…brother…I love her. She is an incredible woman…and she's immersing herself more and more in our life every day. She's thinking ahead, what she wants to become here in the clan, where she wants her life to go, what she wants to be doing…she doesn't deserve to spend it bouncing back and forth in confusion and never being able to truly settle with any one man. She is so sensitive, she would hurt herself before anyone else and that's exactly what she's doing here…she's taking all of this…this tension onto herself." Luke went on a bit more, and the more Jake heard him speak of Jenna, he knew that she could probably be happy with Luke as her mate. He didn't know if it would be possible, if Jenna's tie to himself could be broken sufficiently to allow the bond between her and Luke, but Jake knew that a life with Luke would be a good one for Jenna. Jake contemplated his own life without her…his heart lurched at the thought, but wasn't he already resigned to it? Wasn't that why he kept refusing her advances, even after he had encouraged them? How would it be worse to allow Jenna some happiness with Luke? And Luke…well, he knew the danger of tsahaylu with Jenna, but he was not so fully removed from human life and customs as Jake. He could very well be happy with a more human relationship with Jenna if a bond with her were not possible, and Jenna, although she was learning rapidly and adjusting beautifully to the Na'vi lifestyle, was still very human herself. Jake knew she could be happy with that kind of relationship, as well, and knew she was quite enamored of Luke in any case.

But even as Luke was talking, Jake felt a raging defiance rise up in his heart; he would not be able to turn off the draw he felt toward her so easily. He needed to know how Jenna felt. If she really pined for a settled life with Luke, that would make a big impression on him, he was sure. For her sake, he would let her go. If that's what she wanted. If that was even what she might want, or think she might be happy with. He would need to talk to her, alone, but his days were filled for the next several days to come. After that, then, Jake decided. He could wait that long. And, he decided grimly, a little uncharitably, so could Luke.

Luke had finished talking and was looking grim himself, waiting for Jake's response to his tirade. He knew he had gone off a bit on him, but he could take whatever Jake handed back to him. Jake's demeanor had softened almost imperceptibly as he spoke in reply to his clansman.

"Look," Jake began, his tone deep and intense. "I can't just stop caring for Jenna, and I know I'm not helping the situation. I know she's confused. I know you're angry, and I know you want her. I don't know if you'd be content with the kind of relationship you could have with her, unbonded…because you know the truth of that…" Jake looked sternly at Luke as he said it, impressing his point on the man. "But I can't do that. I can't have the relationship I want with her. Because of you." Luke looked disgruntled as Jake spoke, but he knew the truth of the matter. Still, it offered no solutions for their situation. Luke shifted in place, frustrated and trying to cut in.

But Jake wasn't finished. He sneered and shook his head. "You know, maybe you haven't even noticed but I do actually see what's going on with my people, Luke. All of them. I know Jenna's been having a tough time; I know she's looking to her future. She does talk to me, too. But as clan leader, I have to consider the lives of every person here, not just yours, and not just hers. And I do consider Jenna's life, Luke, don't you ever suggest I don't. I have been trying to move back from the situation. I really have. I can't afford to indulge human cravings…"

"Oh right, Jake, that's why you've got your hands on her every chance you get. Because you're not going to regress to human behavior ever again," Luke retorted, interrupting at last.

"Is that how you want to play this?" Jake hissed with a dangerous tilt of his head, stepping closer to the other man, almost nose to nose. "You want me to forego all my human tendencies and we'll work this out like two Na'vi? Because you know how that works." Luke stepped back away from Jake's menacing advance. He had pushed too far, and he hadn't really meant it. He didn't blame Jake for showing his human side; he was encouraged to see it, in fact. Just not aimed in Jenna's direction. Jake's threat had not been serious, but he had made his point…he was indeed practicing a great deal of restraint in the given circumstances, and Luke finally recognized it.

The men shared a few moments' heated silence, regarding each other in the flickering light of the still-lit fire.

"So what now?" Luke asked in a low voice, still disgruntled and losing patience with the Oloeyktan, and with himself. There was no good solution to be found after all, it seemed.

"You walk away. You do what you need to do, in regard to Jenna. I'm not going to stop you. I have no call to stop you. And I'll do what I need to do, to keep my sanity." Jake replied in an intense, serious timbre. Luke knew it was as much of a concession as Jake was going to offer. He sighed deeply just once before turning and walking away from Jake.

Jake watched him go. He knew more than ever how badly Jenna was handling his inconsistent behavior toward her. He told himself he would try harder to be more friendly toward Jenna and less…grabby. But still…he would plan on taking her hunting when his appointed duties had been seen to. He desperately needed to talk to her, alone.

…** …**

…

…** …**

Since our return from the overnight scouting trip, relations between my two friends and lovers had gradually become more and more strained. Luke's attitude had shifted very slightly; he had always been very attentive of me, but it now was much more open and it seemed to irritate Jake more and more. It was very subtle. Jake didn't smile as much, or seek my company when Luke was around. He seemed always occupied with his clan duties, which were certainly extensive, but he now only shared a few words with me during the very early or very late hours of the day, and we shared fewer and fewer meals. Luke, in the wake of Jake's cooler demeanor, had become warmer toward me, very subtly, more willing to lay a hand on my shoulder and the like. But toward Jake, he had become more formal. Again…a very subtle shift.

I was spending more time with Luke as Jake pulled away. I enjoyed the time with Luke a great deal. He was laying down the charm pretty heavily, and I admit, I was drinking it in. But I missed Jake's attention. What few moments we had together felt good; they felt genuine. They were easy and friendly, most times, and only occasionally a little risqué, but we would laugh it away…unless Luke was nearby. In those cases, the tension between Luke and Jake became more obvious in the form of hard stares and rather possessive hands and postures. I kept trying to keep Jake at a friendly distance, not too close, and not too far away. We had a very difficult time finding that in-between, though, and he was growing progressively more irritable toward Luke while still pulling away from me overall.

I tried to maintain a friendly position toward Luke, as well, despite his charm. I couldn't forget the passion we had shared; quite the contrary, I saw him naked in the moonlight in my mind's eye more often than was strictly appropriate. But I was scared of it. Scared with the clashing feelings I was having for both men, and scared of the rising tension between them. Wanting to coax Jake back into better humor, I began a new project, weaving and decorating an arm band for him. It was a little trickier than making bowls, binding and twisting together the different textures and materials I wanted to use in such a small and intricate pattern, and took me several days to complete.

On the same day I had finished my project, things took a slightly uglier turn. Jake snapped at Luke for something to do with his research while the three of us were gathered together before heading off in our directions for the day. It was a ridiculous complaint, and we all knew it, but Jake had shouted anyway and left with a glare at Luke. Luke shrugged it off, knowing that whatever was bugging Jake was not to do with the research. I had a very good idea of what was bugging Jake, and what was more, I suspected Luke did too.

Late that night, after dinner, Luke and I were chatting off to the side of the gathering. He was playing the flirt pretty heavily that night and was just plucking a twig from my hair as we laughed together when I saw Jake come striding past. He hadn't been heading for us, just passing through, but he had spied us all the same. His purposeful stride paused for just a moment as his head turned in our direction. Then he whipped around forward again and kept striding on. The moment had silenced our laughter and I saw Luke's eye following the Oloeyktan as he walked away. His look was not soft anymore and I saw a muscle twitch in his jaw. Uh oh. Things were getting worse. I felt very much at the heart of it, so I decided to talk to Jake directly that night, perhaps give him the gift I had made for him, hoping to mend some of this hurt. In the meantime, I had Luke to deal with. I waited a moment for Jake to pass out of eyesight before addressing the man in front of me.

"Luke…" I implored him gently, laying a hand on his bicep. I felt the tense muscle ease as his eyes came back to mine, his mind flicking back to me. He gave me a slightly shamed small grin and looked troubled. "Please…tell me what's going on. I can see it, but I mean, from your perspective…what's going on between the two of you?"

Luke sighed and frowned, gathering his thoughts. "Jenna, I know I said we could let…that night we shared just be what it needs to be, but I…" He trailed off, swallowing hard and furrowing his brow even further. "I meant it, at the time, I just…" He looked at me with pleading eyes. I had never seen Luke speechless before and it moved me greatly. I found I didn't need him to say it. I knew what he meant. I knew it in my heart because I felt the same way…things had changed between us, and I loved him. I could see in his face how he loved me, too. For all our good intentions, feelings had grown between us and we were powerless to fight them. I laid a hand on Luke's cheek and smiled at him, willing his troubles away as if it were that simple and easy to do.

"I know, Luke. I know. Me too. I am so sorry for being so troublesome, I really am." I whispered to him, feeling just terrible about it all.

"No Jenna, you have nothing to be sorry for. You are nothing but enchanting, and incredible. Jake and I…" Luke sighed deeply, letting it out in a low hiss. "…we'll work it out. We're grown men. We'll handle it, whatever it comes to." Luke said it calmly, but the tone in his voice had an edge to it, just barely perceptible. I wondered how he meant that…in human terms, Jake and Luke would likely "work it out" through words and some kind of understanding. If Luke was thinking as a Na'vi, well…the result was not likely to contain a lot of words at all, and probably meant some blood letting instead. I wondered if Luke himself even knew how he meant it.

Luke and I chatted a bit longer before we bid each other goodnight, soothing over the tense moment with simpler things. I went back to my hollow for a little while to gather my thoughts before searching for Jake, away from Luke's sharp eyes. I still didn't want to spark an outright jealous fit between the two friends and I felt that heading right into Jake's arms, for all Luke knew, would probably do it, but I still needed to talk to the man. I didn't know whether I wanted to forego my feelings toward Jake for Luke, but I was determined to try and mend the friendship, at least. I missed Jake, and he was pulling away from me. Maybe he needed to, but I didn't want to let him go. There must be a good resolution, and I was determined to find it.

I slipped back out after composing myself and scouted around, finding Jake hunched over by himself near a smaller fire pit on the edge of the clearing. It was late by now and the little fire was one of only a couple still lit around the clearing. He was concentrating hard on something…ah, sharpening his knife, honing the blade and passing it through the fire to temper the new edge. It set me a little on edge, myself, as I was still rather sensitive to knives in general, and Jake could be…well, quite frankly, a little scary in a temper. I cleared my throat, steeling my nerve, and approached him.

"Kaltxi, Jake," I said several steps away from him. He looked up and saw me approaching. He glanced back at the work in hand and carefully blew on his knife blade, then sheathed it before I reached him. It was an incredibly thoughtful thing for him to have done but as I came up to him, he only gave me a tight smile and a nod. Not a good sign. I was tired of this strained friendship with him. I missed him.

"Jake, may I talk to you?" I asked, gently but directly, crouching down next to him. He sighed and looked down between his knees, but gestured with a hand for me to continue. It was all I was going to get from him, so I forged ahead.

"Jake, I've really been missing you." I said boldly. I was irritated with his behavior of late, and was determined to have him answer for it. "I miss spending time with you, and going out into the forest, to hunt…" Jake just kept staring between his knees. "I really miss being with you, ma Jake." I softened my tone, using the familiar endearing term. Jake closed his eyes and sighed again. At least he was listening.

"We've had such good times together, out in the forest. You used to teach me so much, and you seemed to enjoy it, too." I paused, remembering all the other times, too…the intimate ones, and the times when Jake would steal a hungry kiss, or simply lay a hand on my skin, letting it linger.

"I…I miss the feel of your tongue, Jake…" I said in a low voice. Jake's head dropped further toward his knees as he sighed deeply yet again. This wasn't coming out the way I had planned…I had intended to come to Jake with a plea for restoring our friendship. This…well, it was pining for intimacy with the man. But the more I said, the more I felt a desperate need for him. I couldn't curb the flow of words, of thoughts. It wasn't what I intended, but it was what I wanted to say, despite Luke, despite everything. "What happened to those times? They weren't so long ago that I've forgotten them, you know. Have you?" I implored him to respond. Eventually, he did.

"Those times are in the past, Jenna. We have to move on." His voice was heavy and yet clipped. I didn't honestly believe that he actually meant it.

"Jake…" I started off quietly. But then my frustration boiled over. "What…what the hell does that mean?" He tilted his face in my direction, perhaps glancing as high as my knees. "Jake, you should know how much I care for you. I care about you so much and I don't know if you even see it. What do you want from me, Jake? I've been trying not to entice you, I really have, because I know it complicates things, but…I…I relish every time you touch me, Jake, every single little touch…and come on, you still don't miss an opportunity to put a hand on me. Hell, just yesterday morning you had your hand on my ass!" I was getting angry and my voice was starting to grate a little louder. Jake gripped his knife and scabbard tightly.

"Let it go, Jenna," he mumbled in a low, dangerous voice. But I had had enough. I was tired of losing the friendship we had, losing everything between us, and feeling the tension as an almost constant presence.

"I will if you will," I hissed at him. Jake snarled and hurled his knife and sheath to the ground. Despite my nerve, I was scared and I jumped up. He was frightening when he was angry, and I had just pushed him over the edge. But I stood my ground. Jake stood up slowly and turned to face me, a fury in his eyes that still frightened me but fed my defiance all the same. He grabbed my wrist and hauled me across the clearing, into a rather large hollow across the way. He released me once we were inside and I realized he had taken me to his own hollow. Jake paced the ground after having flung my arm back at me. He was angry, he was agitated. Finally, he halted in his pacing and glared at me. I rubbed my wrist where he had held it so tight. It didn't hurt so much, but I smoothed away the roughness of his grip by doing so. Jake saw me doing it and shook his head, looking ashamed, but still angry. He strode up to me slowly and I backed against the wall. I wasn't honestly afraid of him hurting me, but he was a powerful man, and intimidating at the best of times. My retreat was rather involuntary. Jake just kept coming at me until the wall held me firm. He came right up in front of me, not a foot away.

"Jake, please, just tell me what's the matter. I'm trying to be a friend, at least," I entreated him. I was pleading with him, all bravado vanishing under his intense glare and close proximity. He sighed deeply, letting it out in a harsh hiss. He leaned his face close to mine and held me with his eyes.

"You are the matter," he rumbled in a low voice, no longer dangerous, but still intense. I searched his eyes, trying to discern what was wrong, why I was causing him such distress. I had been trying, I really had! "This, this is the matter. I don't want your friendship, Jenna," he kept speaking as he laid his hands low on my hips, caressing down my rear as he had the other morning… this time slowly, unhurried. I had been fighting so hard against the appeal Jake held over me, feeling it was inappropriate in my growing attraction toward Luke, but the feel of Jake's hands on me made me tremble, and the wall I had put up in my mind came tumbling down like so many bricks. "You asked me what I want…" he continued, growling now. He grabbed my wrist and pressed my palm hard against his groin. I gasped as I felt him again, his body engorged already against my hand. I gripped him gently through his cloth, almost unconsciously, reeling at the sensation of holding him in my palm. My heart was pounding in my chest and I could feel his pulse racing under my fingers. He was breathing heavily. He growled low in my ear, "I want this. You. But I will not play games anymore, Jenna." He let my hand go, but I couldn't release him. I kept my fingers curled around him as he leaned away. I moved with him, just a few inches, away from the wall. He reached a hand out to caress behind my neck, the sensation sending shivers down my spine. I heard what he was saying, but I didn't want to listen. I felt him reach for something behind my back and when he pulled his hand around the front of me again, his fingers were curled loosely around my queue, letting it run through his hands as he rubbed his knuckles down my chest, between my breasts and down my stomach. I finally realized just what he was saying.

"What I want…you can't give to me," he whispered harshly, raw emotion scraping the words from his throat. He was so sure, but I still didn't believe him.

"You don't know that…" I began, but he cut me off, backing me against the wall again.

"Jenna, I do know how you feel about me," he said forcefully, still in a low, intense voice. He breathed against my temple, his lips brushing my ear. I cringed at the overwhelming desire I felt for him, and the denial he was delivering to me. "I know…I feel it for you too…" His words were lost in breathlessness as he rubbed against me, rigid against my abdomen, pressing hard. It was through no conscious effort that I pressed back against him. I was caught up in feeling his body against mine again, the exquisite pain of feeling his tease, yet realizing it would come to nothing between us, not tonight. Not like this. Maybe not ever again, and that realization hurt. Jake seemed to lose track of what he was saying. I was completely incapable of saying anything at all. His hands wrapped around either side of my neck, holding my jaw gently as he breathed on my skin. I felt a shudder run through his body. I longed to run my hands across his torso, up and down his back, over his hips, but I dared not. It wasn't right, and I knew it. I finally felt what Jake had felt so often before, touching me. My hands stayed around his waist as he calmed himself again.

Jake leaned back away from me, swallowing hard and breathing deep. His hand came down from my neck and caressed my queue again, feeling the silky braid between his fingers. A pained expression came over his face as he said quietly, "You are not wholly dedicated to me." He looked up into my eyes, a sad but firm look buried within their depths. "Are you?" It was not a question. I let my eyes fall to his chest, knowing that he was right. I did love him, but I also had a tremendous amount of love for Luke. And I did not want to hurt Luke in any small way, but the very act was causing Jake such tremendous pain already. I did not know what to do with the mess I had created, but as the certainty of his words came crashing over me, tears came to my eyes, confirming the truth I already knew, deep inside. I couldn't be completely dedicated to him, feeling how I did toward Luke. Tsahaylu with Jake would be wrong, and it wouldn't be allowed through whatever means Eywa had sway over. It truly was not in my power to give to Jake, and it broke my heart. I was beholden to two men, and could give myself to neither, I realized that now. I was forced to face it. I knew that even if Luke felt the same as Jake did toward me, as intensely, I would end up disappointing him also. I could no more give up my love for one than the other. No, I would not blame Jake for his anger, for his emotions. I understood now. I thought for a moment that I would have regretted that day in the woods with Jake if I had thought that had been the catalyst for our feelings, but I knew it hadn't been. No, that memory could remain untainted, if bittersweet. And my engagements with Luke were just as untouchable. Had I never had those moments with them, either of them, I would still feel the same way toward each of them.

A tear rolled down my cheek. Jake knew. He knew how I felt toward Luke, and he knew how Luke felt toward me, too, probably even better than I did so that it constantly fueled his aggravation. He knew it the whole time, knew he would never have my whole heart, he knew…and yet he persisted in finding me almost everyday, for even just a few small words, a simple touch, sometimes more than that. He knew the heartache he was in for, and yet most days, he never let it show, not like this anyway. But I had seen it today, and not just in Jake. I had finally understood. And there was nothing I could do to make it any better. Jake knew that, too. He knew so damn much, but it didn't do either of us any good at all. I was heartbroken, and angry at myself.

Jake pulled away completely, backing up, his eyes fixed on mine in a sad state of despair. Another tear crested my eyelid and ran down to my chin. I stood there in the middle of his hollow, succumbing to the tears, as Jake staggered backward and sat down heavily against the far wall.

"Please. Go," I heard him mumble in a deep, wavering voice. I had never heard his voice sound so distraught. It was unnerving. I didn't want to leave, but there was nothing I could do. I had to go, to simply walk away from the man whose only fault was loving me. But still, I couldn't. I wouldn't just leave him collapsed in pain, there on the ground. I cared too much for the mighty warrior, the gentle lover. I loved him too damn much, but it still wasn't enough. I didn't care what he thought anymore; he didn't have all the answers. Knowing it would likely be our last, I walked over to him and knelt down in front of him, taking his face in my hands and kissing him deeply and passionately through my tears. He tried to resist, but only for a moment before taking my face in his hands as well and returning the kiss with a ferocity of his own. We lingered on each other's lips for a moment before I finally pulled away. I looked at him with my tear stained eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry, Jake."

I stood up again, away from Jake's hands as they stroked down my retreating arms, his eyes gazing at me as I removed myself from his presence. "I am," I whispered, and turned to go as Jake watched on. I had only taken two steps and was in the doorway when I remembered the gift I had finished for him just that afternoon. I had intended to give it to him before all of this had happened. Well, suave had never been my style anyway. I turned back around. Jake was already staring straight at the ground again, elbows on knees. I pursed my lips, feeling the strain of never getting things quite right in this crazy place. I wondered if I would ever learn how to do things properly, without screwing anything up.

I took a step back toward Jake but he didn't look up. I knelt down and laid the arm band on the ground next to him, explaining, "I finished this today. I made it for you." I saw his head turn to look at it, and as I stood up to leave again, he reached out slowly and scooped it from the ground. I turned and walked away from him, not wanting to hurt him anymore, even just by being there. I glanced back just once a few feet outside his doorway and saw him gazing at the band, stretched between his two hands. I was in misery. I didn't dare go back to my own hollow, for fear that Luke would see me in such a state. I didn't want to see him right now. He would have understood. He would probably have been nothing but caring and sympathetic, even if I let loose on him with tears and confessions, but I was unworthy of any manner of loving company. I strode into the woods and flung myself up into the canopy, scarcely seeing where I was going. I reached a high point where I could barely hear the few people below, and I nestled into the crook of a sturdy branch, hung my head, and cried.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The next several days were difficult, but actually saw a change for the better. I avoided both Jake and Luke at first, choosing to gather fruit and weave with the women of the clan rather than do anything that either one of them could feasibly participate in. Luke wore me down first, being his gentle, sweet, understanding self, and convinced me to discuss his research findings and explore future options. He never asked why I had been so clearly deflecting his attention…he just kept coming back. And Jake…I noticed him making phenomenal efforts to be friendly with me again, even in Luke's presence. I noticed he had worn the arm band I had given him every day since that heartbreaking night between us.

With Jake's improved demeanor, Luke seemed to take heart to be even flirtier once again, and I was helpless to resist him. He knew me too well and would regularly get me laughing and smiling. My good cheer translated into a tolerance for Jake's still rather subdued behavior, but I made efforts to seek him out alone and talk with him, trying to cultivate a better working relationship with the man. I went out with Luke on day trips to the metal sites, and spent some quiet moments with Jake late in the evenings when he had the time.

About ten days had passed since the encounter with Jake, and Luke and I had come home late from a distant site. We had been all business, all day, and there had been a lot of data to record and track. Finally able to rest a bit and eat, we settled into easy conversation. I noticed Jake at the fire, engaged in his own discussion with his lead hunters. He was absorbed is conversation, but Jake always kept good tabs on his people…I had no doubt he knew Luke and I were around the fire. After a little while, Luke and I got up, prepared to part ways for the night, but he pulled me to a stop when we reached the edge of the clearing, just before we parted company. We were out of ear shot, but not out of sight of the others.

"Luke, what is it?" I asked with a chortle, wondering why he had paused like this.

He looked at me with that sweet smile, radiating charm. "Jenna, I just wanted to say…you are simply beautiful tonight." My heart melted as he leaned in to kiss me. His soft lips were just as delicate as I remembered and I forgot for a moment we were in plain view of the rest of the gathering…of Jake. Luke didn't seem to care, not even a little. He lingered on my lips for several moments before we pulled apart. He pressed his body to me gently and I felt him hard against me again. It gave me quite a rush, reminding me in a very forceful manner of everything I felt toward him. "Anytime," he whispered, swallowing hard and smiling. He ran a hand down my midline again, brushing my skin softly with his knuckles. I was smiling despite myself, a goofy grin seizing my lips as I remembered him, remembered the night we had shared together. He leaned in to rest his forehead against mine and whispered, "Tonight?" His breath faltered only a little as his lips spread wide in a grin. He clearly had been waiting to ask this for some time.

I thrilled inside to consider him, but I replied in a rather breathless mumble, "Oh Luke, I…I, uh…"

"Not tonight," Luke said in a quiet, final sort of tone, more to himself than to me, his grin fading, but only just slightly.

"Luke, I'm sorry…" I tried, but he cut me short.

"Sshhh, ma Jenna. Hush. It's alright," Luke intoned in a deep whisper, nuzzling his nose against mine. "It's alright, really." He looked me deeply in my eyes and smiled so beautifully. He kissed me again softly and I kissed him back.

Then he bid me good night with a brilliantly understanding smile and gave my hand a squeeze before bounding off. I watched him go with some regret, then turned my gaze back to the gathering…back to Jake, just as his head was turning to face his companions again. I was to go out hunting with Jake in the morning, at his request…I hoped there wouldn't be trouble.

…

…

…

I met Jake early and as usual, Luke was there to see us off. His behavior was calm and cool as always without a trace of awkwardness at having come on to me so strongly the night before, so I followed suit, and set off with Jake shortly after breakfast in a decent mood. Jake seemed his normal self, for those days anyway; a little subdued, but friendly enough. We stalked through the trees, talking amiably through the clearer areas of brush where we did not have to concentrate as much on the ground underfoot. I couldn't help but notice that Jake's eyes were not seeking through the trees as they ought to be for a day out hunting. He seemed much more focused on our own short pieces of dialogue and was wandering through the woods, rather aimlessly, if my sense of direction had improved as much as I thought it had. We had been quiet for some time, traveling along a short cliff that ran next to a river, when Jake suddenly spoke out again.

"Luke is a good man," he said in a low voice. I was a little taken aback at the sudden statement, but he sounded genuine.

"I know he is," I said, Jake glancing back at me. Yes, I thought. He had seen us at the fire. He had probably seen every moment, every flick of the tongue, followed every inch of Luke's caress down my body. I felt a little apprehensive. "I'm a little surprised to hear it coming from you, though, Jake." I said it lightly, hoping not to set him off. Thankfully, Jake just meandered over toward the small cliff side and paused, looking over his shoulder and waiting for me to catch up. His face was quiet, somber.

As I stepped up next to him, he continued softly. "Whatever else I feel, Jenna, it doesn't change that fact." It was what made Jake such an incredible leader for these people, that he was able to own his emotions, his feelings, and set them aside to truly see his people, all of them. He did not let his passions blind him to what was in front of his eyes, even toward Luke, who made no secret of his affection for me. I was silent, just reflecting on his words, reflecting on what I felt for Luke…and what I felt for Jake. The time of year when many Na'vi would choose a mate was rapidly approaching; it just seemed to work that way, there was no rule or expectation for it to happen that way for anyone or everyone. Luke had not broached the subject with words, so much, but he wore his emotions plainly. I knew he wanted me, in more ways than one, and in all truth, I rather wanted him, too. I imagined living a life as Luke's mate, and it felt good, it felt easy…until I thought of Jake. Then it all came crashing down. I loved Luke, and a union between us would be well accepted in the clan, I knew, but still I loved Jake hopelessly. A union between he and I would be nothing like simple, I imagined, but still I wanted to share that level of connection with him, share his world, and show mine to him. I wanted it as badly as I yearned for the same with Luke, but it just wasn't possible. I couldn't choose Jake at this point, because I couldn't choose Luke either. How could I have done this? I wondered in desperation. How could I have cultivated such a strong love for each of these men, for both of them at the same time so that now, not a single one of us would be able to have what we longed for?

Jake was pensive, gazing out across the flowing water. He cleared his throat, a deep, growly, rumble, and as I watched him stare in contemplation into the watery ripples, some part of me realized…Jake had known about this for a long time. He had known what we were headed for, he saw it even as it was happening, and there wasn't a damn thing he could have done about it. He cleared his throat again and spoke at last. "Luke will keep pursuing you, I expect." I knew the truth of his words. The prospect thrilled me even as I chided myself for it, even as it scared me, just a little. "As he did last night." His voice had steeled a bit, but was still calm. I looked up at Jake and found him gazing sidelong at me. Oh yes, he had seen. He turned away again, gazing into the distance. "Will you accept his advances?" he asked quietly, a note of forced calm clear in his deep voice. I thought long and hard before answering.

"I don't know," I managed. It was the best I could offer. It would be wrong to lead him on, knowing I could never bond with him still feeling as I did toward Jake…but would those feelings fade as Luke made his move? Would he win my whole heart? I saw the possibility of that, and it made me sad, for Jake. Right here, right now, I didn't want to stop loving Jake. I wanted to love him more, not less, Luke or no Luke. I stepped closer to him and cautiously leaned against him, carefully keeping my arms to myself but resting my head on his strong shoulder. He shifted to allow me near and his fingers tangled with mine, holding them firm. It was a friendly gesture, and I appreciated it. I noticed he still wore the arm band I had given him. He hadn't taken it off since that day. I had thought, when making it, that I had given it plenty of length…that if anything, it would be a little too big and he could adjust it as necessary. But it barely fit around his burly muscles. It was secure, but just barely.

"Jenna, if Luke approached you…would you accept him?" Jake had let his head fall sideways to rest on top of my own. I wasn't sure exactly what he meant.

"Approached me for…what…?" I tried to ask delicately. I'd already told him I didn't know what I would do about Luke's advances, and I had meant it. Jake had asked as if this was something different.

"Tsahaylu," he replied simply. The steely note was gone from his voice. He was asking me plainly, wanting to know. I was a little taken aback. I didn't expect Luke to propose such a bond anytime soon, but clearly Jake had already given it plenty of thought. If Luke had been thinking of the same thing, he might already know, too, that I would not be able to accept him. It was clear in my mind that tsahaylu with either man simply wouldn't work, nor be allowed through Eywa, but perhaps Jake still didn't realize just how I felt about him. It was true, I had been putting forth monumental efforts to maintain a friendly distance from him of late. I had to tell Jake the truth, the absolute and complete truth.

"I can't," I squeaked. He shifted a little and I tried to form the right words in my mind, but everything was a blur as I fought with my emotions.

"But you are attracted to him? You seemed to enjoy him…kissing you…" he growled, "…and touching you." His fingers curled around mine more firmly.

"Yes, Jake. I did." I took a deep breath and put aside my pride. "But I can't bond with Luke…because I love you, Jake. I love you." I'd said it. Finally. And probably too late, but there it was. Jake was quiet for a moment, then I felt him caressing my fingers he held curled in his hand. He turned to me and gave me a sad smile that looked like it so badly wanted to be hopeful. He pulled me to his chest and hugged me close. I closed my eyes against his warm, welcoming embrace and sighed as Jake stroked my head and down my back, just gently. A question came to mind, as they so often did.

"Jake?" I inquired, quietly, gently, not wanting to leave his embrace as I willed him to keep holding onto me. He did not let go.

"Yes, Jenna," he replied simply.

"What would happen if we bonded, now? Do you know?" Jake sighed and kept holding me close. It was a moment before he responded.

"Are you asking for academic reasons? Or…other reasons?" His voice was low, almost a whisper, almost seeming to dread my answer. But I reached around behind him and pulled his queue around in front of his shoulder, delicately tracing the run of the braid protecting the sensitive fibers encased within. I was not simply seeking information, not this time.

"I'm asking because I want tsahaylu with you, Jake," I told him in a low, steady voice. I meant it. If it could be done, here and now, I would do it. I would break the stalemate in this twisted triangle I had created between Jake, Luke, and myself. I could hardly bear the thought of hurting Luke, of relinquishing his affections, but he had not told me so plainly that he wanted this, not like Jake had, and I was tired of my conflicting emotions, tired of the strain. Jake sighed again, a deep, growling, thundering, purring sound. The resonance in his chest made me knees go weak.

"It would hurt," he said in a pained tone, catching me off guard. "It would cause severe damage, leave us vulnerable, and the forest would finish us off if the bond did not." I was shocked. He spoke so baldly, but I could hardly believe him.

"You know this?" I asked in a whisper. He squeezed me tightly.

"I've seen it," he said. "Just before Luke came to the tribe…it happened. Young kids. He doesn't know. We don't sing about the tragedies like those. Maybe we should." His voiced was husky with emotion, remembering. Still stunned, I laid his queue flat against his chest and just caressed it gently, trusting his word on the matter, even as difficult as it was. There was so much potential for good in the neural link the Na'vi were able to share…yet, as with everything else on Pandora, there was an inherent danger as well. So much potential for harm. I had apparently underestimated how much harm. I started to understand why Jake so vehemently rejected getting too close to me, now. It would mean serious injury at least, if not fatal. I wondered about the particulars of what would happen, but it didn't feel right to ask him about it. Not right now.

Jake nuzzled his cheek against the top of my head. He seemed comfortable talking with me, calm and easy going just holding me there, just accepting the fact that whatever love we felt for each other would not be going anywhere even if he was somber about it. Jake was a strong man, inside and out. I wondered if this would ever be enough for me. Just being friendly with Jake. I felt a pang in my heart that said it would not and felt a thrill of foreboding run through me. We would be seeing the Tsahik the following day and traveling once again to the Tree of Souls. Mo'at had said it was time, and all four of us would again go and see what we could see, through Eywa's divine mercy. I didn't know what would happen there, but I felt…something. Something would be decided tomorrow, it felt like. There would be a turning point. For what, I had no idea, but I did know one thing…before things changed, before my world was shifted around me again, I wanted to feel Jake's love for me and show him mine in a very human way. A very immature way.

"Jake…" I said quietly, lifting my head to his. He craned his neck to look down at me, as well. "…can we…?" He only looked a little perplexed at me, unable to translate given so few words. I took a deep breath to try again. "I want to share my love with you, Jake. Like we did that day in the forest. Before tomorrow, before anything else happens…can we do that?" I decided that had ended a little weakly. I turned to face him fully. "Would you let me love you, here, now?" Jake blinked at me, pursing his lips a little and breathing in deep breaths. I honestly didn't know what he would say. I laid my hands on his chest, over his heart, and just felt his skin against my palms, his steady heartbeat pounding away as he considered my request. There would be no halting halfway into it this time, I knew, from either one of us. It would be decided completely, one way or the other, right now. I waited for his response. After several long minutes, Jake swallowed and licked his lips. Of course, he had my attention already.

"Yes." He said it in one short, deep tone. I exhaled in a long sigh, closing my eyes and pressing my hands against him, leaning against him, letting the tension of waiting for him pass through me. He had said yes. Oh, he had said yes.

When I looked back up at his face, he wore a gentle smile, and after a few minutes more we started hesitantly plucking at each other's garment strings, eventually allowing the clothes to fall to the ground. I glanced down, I couldn't help it. He wasn't ready yet. But he'd get there. I smiled and blushed a little as I took him in. His equipment nestled snugly in the pouch of loose skin below his belly button, and he was undeniably rather well-endowed, even relaxed as he was. I took a long, steadying breath. Jake stepped toward me and slid his hands around me, one up my back, the other caressing down. He pressed his body against me and I thrilled to feel his bulging groin squash against me at first, and quickly begin to swell as our lips met in a passionate kiss, the first of many, as we set aside worry and concern and just enjoyed the feel of each other.

The morning wore on as we took our time feeding our senses, exciting and soothing our passions in turn as we worked toward the inexorable plunge into ecstasy, our intensity gradually increasing as our hunger for each other blossomed. Tsahaylu or no, the sensations we were sharing were mind blowing. Jake groaned. He growled. He thundered and he purred, and he drove me wild..

As we reached a fever pitch, Jake buried his forehead in the crook of my neck, his hands reaching behind me. He was twiddling something in his fingers behind my back. My queue. I felt a tingle down my core as I tried to focus on the sensation…I realized he was brushing his fingertips through the sensitive tendrils of my queue. The tingles intensified and went straight through my middle, sending a wave of heat through my whole body. Jake pressed his forehead to my shoulder and I felt a trickle of moisture run down my breast. He was breathing hard, gasping and panting, still teasing my queue and thrusting into me. I was about ready to scream when he pinched at my tendrils, the sensation sending me soaring over the brink of rapture as I felt him come with me. Our bodies arched together in the wake of such intense sensations. I gazed at my lover, my queue still in his grasp behind my back …and saw the trail of a tear running down his cheek. As soon as I saw it, a fellow tear escaped my own eye and traveled down to my chin. I recognized what he was feeling, and realized I felt it myself…we would never experience the true bliss of tsahaylu with each other. I reached for him and pulled him close, holding his cheek against my breast. I understood. He was not alone in this pain. He held me dearly, pulling me closer. It was all the solace we could offer each other, and I just hoped it would be enough.

The shadows in the forest were beginning to grow as the day moved on into the afternoon. We pulled apart and Jake ran his hands down inside his thighs, feeling the moisture on his skin already beginning to dry and turn tacky. I watched him pawing at himself, struck by how adorable he looked by doing so. The man had a gift for it. He looked up at me and grinned to see me watching him so steadily. His eyes traveled me up and down, no longer ashamed to take in my naked form as he had been that first morning.

He tilted his head and nodded toward the ledge. "Come with me to the river?"

I grinned and nodded my agreement. Jake stood and took my hand, helping me up with a soft gleam in his eye. We gathered our belongings, not bothering to clothe ourselves just yet out here in the middle of the forest, and we eased our way down the short slope to the river below one at a time.

Jake waited at the river's edge for me. When I caught up to him, he slid an arm around my waist and held me steady to kiss me one more time.

"Irayo, ma Jennavie," he rumbled, the sound of his native language rolling off his tongue like tumbling raindrops. I smiled warmly at him, truly touched for his words of thanks. I held his jaw in my fingertips, gazing thoughtfully into his beautiful face.

"Ma Jake," I mumbled in a deep voice, purring the syllables through my throat. He kissed me again. Eventually, we did made it into the water. Eventually.

…

After a quick scrub, Jake and I laid out on the shore to dry before redressing and making another…well, our first genuine…attempt at hunting. We talked easily, as friends, as old lovers. I asked him about the next day, when we would travel to the Tree of Souls again, my mind still dwelling on the portent I felt in my gut.

"We'll go later in the day, into the evening. More can be seen when the eyes have less to see, Mo'at says." Jake grinned at me. I understood what she meant, completely.

"Will it be the same? As last time, I mean? All of us will make tsahaylu with the same vine…?" Jake looked a little worried, but nodded.

"I think so."

"Jake, what happened last time…that was…almost like tsahaylu with another person …right?" He nodded again and I continued, trying to understand. "I could see…flashes…into your mind. Your memories. All of our minds and memories, together. Did we all…I mean, do you know if we all saw the same images, together, as one?" Jake shifted closer to me.

"Yes, I think so. Mo'at is skilled at guiding thoughts, so she did a lot of that with each of us, but yes, we were all sharing tsahaylu together, just kind of tempered through the vine of the Tree and the Tsahik's guidance."

"Is that what she meant when she said there was some risk? I know tsahaylu is a powerful thing…with all of us bound to the same vine…" I thought hard, trying to sort through the possibilities, the implications. "Was there risk of some sort of bleedback? Unintentional bonding, or some such thing?" Jake moved a little closer still.

"Something like that. I think. But her skill is considerable; her will is powerful and she was protecting us from letting that happen, I believe. Tsahaylu is complex…it's hard to fit any kind of rules to it." I was quiet for a long moment, contemplating tsahaylu and its complexities. I let Jake scoop me up in his arm and laid against his chest. I enjoyed his warmth and solidity as my mind pondered the intricacies of the powerful bond. I grasped his queue lightly and fondled it between my fingers, reflective and silent for a time.

"Jake, those young Na'vi…" I didn't finish the statement. He would know which ones I referred to. He did not respond for a minute or two, just laid his cheek against my head.

"Mm hm?" he mumbled finally, encouraging me to continue.

"What happened to them?" I said in a small voice after a moment. "I mean, you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. I'll understand." Jake stroked my head, stroked down my back, caressed my own queue. He hummed and sighed deep.

"It's alright, Jenna. They were young. Pretty wild at heart, all three. Probably why they stuck together so tightly. They got in deep with each other…I don't know how deep. One of the elders found one of them one night, hiding away from everyone else, asked him what was wrong. He said the girl had run off with his friend, said she had chosen, but not him. The elder knew what would happen once he heard the kid's story, everyone had seen them all together. None of them had disguised their feelings for each other. We would have intervened if we'd known how deep it went… Scouts went out to find them and I went with them." Jake paused and sighed deep again. "We found them, but too late. They were paralyzed, almost comatose…and the pack was on them before we could reach them." He finished talking, having said enough. I was horrified.

"And Luke doesn't know that could happen?" I asked, stricken at the implication that if Luke and I had bonded that night we had shared such passion, we would have likely met the same fate. But Jake shook his head a little.

"No, he never knew what happened then, but he does know the risk of tsahaylu could be fatal, in the wrong circumstances. He's done a lot of research into the neural bond between the Na'vi and the creatures we ride, and between the people, too. He's not stupid." Jake swallowed and I could almost hear the grimace in his voice as he continued, answering the question I had insinuated, but had not actually asked. "He wouldn't risk your safety unless he was sure. That you were his, alone." Jake swallowed audibly, again, not enjoying saying these things to me. I steered the conversation in a different direction.

"What…what about the kid left behind? What happened to him?" I asked quietly, fearing the worst. But Jake spoke up quickly in a lighter tone, much to my surprise.

"He was fine. He was terribly shaken, of course, but okay. He came of age and left the tribe. His choice. Hopefully do things better next time."

"Will he find a mate, do you think? He'll be able?"

"Jenna, tsahaylu is a bond broken only by death. The emotional ties of love form something like a preliminary sort of bond between the people…and they are also broken by death, in the grand scheme of energy flows and stuff. It was Luke who discovered that, with his research." I whirled the implications of that around in my head. The love I felt for both Jake and Luke kept me from being able to bond with either one of them safely…it was the preliminary bond that prevented this, I understood now from Jake's explanation. And I rather figured that since they also felt so strongly toward me that it would only strengthen the pre-tsahaylu bond between me and them, although that was just speculation. Tsahaylu ties were broken by death…and that made sense. If a hunter's ikran was killed or died before the hunter was ready to retire from hunting, they could choose another ikran, and often would. If a Na'vi's lifemate was killed, they also could choose another mate, I knew, though it was their choice whether they would or not. Apparently, the pre-tsahaylu bond worked the same way, or similarly at least. I didn't know whether the pre-bond was as permanent as tsahaylu itself…that seemed unlikely…or whether it could fade over time, but one thing seemed certain from Jake's words. Death would certainly break that bond. If I died, the pre-tsahaylu bond would be broken. A chill ran through my core as I realized that if either Jake or Luke were killed, there would technically be no issue bonding with the one left behind…and both of these men knew that.

"That young man's ties to the girl were broken when she and her chosen mate were killed." Jake finished in a low voice, meeting my wide, anxious eyes with a steady and altogether too serious of a look of his own.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The shadows were lengthening; the day had moved on well into the afternoon, and Jake and I finally roused ourselves from the riverside to gather our things and try our hand at some hunting at long last. I had dropped the subject of tsahaylu like a hot potato and Jake had thankfully let it lie.

We stalked through the forest and amazingly enough, I actually caught a trail Jake had missed. He was so proud that we almost missed the faraway trill of the yerik, alerting the others of a potential predator…us. We quieted down and allowed the herd to settle again before creeping our way toward them. When we finally found the herd, Jake knocked an arrow back and let fly. His first shot missed and the arrow twanged into the brush, alerting the creatures to their peril. With a frustrated grunt, he quickly set another arrow and let it fly again, this time hitting his mark just as the herd were leaping away. He was fast and precise in his actions, as always. A marvel to observe, in any setting. I thought learning to hunt properly, with Jake, could be a rewarding task. I was slowly starting to warm to the idea of trying to be a good hunter for the clan, regardless of whatever else would happen between me, Jake, and Luke. I would still work hard to be a contributing member of the Omaticaya and, somehow, a less troublesome one.

Jake had pounced on the animal quickly, his gentle hands and gentle words dispatching the animal from its pain and sending its spirit to Eywa with his prayer. I quietly padded across the forest floor to retrieve the wayward arrow, drawing my knife with relative ease and keeping my eyes on the forest. I was much more secure now with the tool in my hand, and even felt its presence as a great comfort as I was exposed in the woods, although on the worst days it was still very much a love-hate relationship. Caution was always warranted out in the forest, but it was gladly untested today. Having had a successful hunt, Jake and I prepared to head back to the village at long last.

We made it home just before the evening meal and we were in good spirits as we rejoined the gathering, Luke quickly spying us upon our return and joining us to eat. We chatted easily, all three of us, and when Luke asked about our day…albeit a little hesitantly…we readily launched into the tale of our afternoon. Luke caught our enthusiasm and as Jake told him with a proud beam that I had found a trail he had missed, Luke's expression became a mirror of Jake's from earlier in the day…we had a good laugh telling him that that was exactly what had nearly ruined the hunt.

Luke got me alone with him later that evening after dinner, somehow. Jake had been staying pretty close and I rather had the impression he was trying to protect me from Luke…as if sensing that I wanted to maintain a little distance from him. He was right, but I also felt the need to keep some distance from Jake, himself. As much as I really did love Luke's attentions, in light of everything I had learned from Jake that day, I was feeling hesitant to encourage either one of them at that point. I had been grateful to Jake for tempering Luke's behavior toward me, but when Luke finally managed to pull me away from the Oloeyktan, I couldn't remember anymore why I had wanted the time away. He was nothing but sweetness and caring, not overbearing, no nagging and no questions, he was just…Luke. We talked for a long time after dinner that night. He followed me, invited, back to my hollow and we chatted some more until my eyes began to droop. It didn't take long. It had been a roller coaster of a day for me, and my exhaustion caught up to me quickly. We were sitting together on my cushy mat when my chin dipped toward my chest as the exhaustion finally overtook me. Luke had crawled toward me, cradled my head in his hand and pushed me gently to the ground, laying me down. He stretched each of my legs out straight, his hands firm and steady on my tired limbs, his touch no longer hesitant. He rubbed the thick muscles of my thighs, worked his knuckles into my hips, and smoothed his hands against the sides of my abdomen, firm and decisive as he completely let go of his reservations about touching me. He stroked my neck gently and tenderly caressed my arms, down to my fingers, and finally brought my hands together, placing them delicately across my belly. I was so tired, I didn't question him. I lay still, slowly falling asleep under his calm and soothing manipulations. As sleep-drunk as I was, I almost invited him to stay, but it was for the best when he leaned over me and kissed me good night on my forehead, slowly getting to his own tired feet and stumbling away to his own bed until morning.

…

…

…

The next day dawned bright and clear, and oddly quiet. The feeling of foreboding returned to nestle deep in my gut. I had awoken very early and decided to rouse myself and get out and move a bit, hoping to shake the unsettled feeling from my middle. As I poked my head outside, I gazed over toward Luke's own hollow. I wondered if he was up yet, and decided on the spot to go check. I padded across the space separating our trees and peered inside. Luke was still sleeping soundly, lying on his side facing away from the door. He snored almost silently, his breaths as steady in sleep as they were in waking. I watched him sleep for a few moments, smiling to myself and enjoying the peaceful sight, before suddenly realizing that he was actually completely unclothed. The relatively bare hind-side view of the Na'vi men was so familiar to me now, it had taken me a little while to notice. I knew from hearsay that a number of the Na'vi men slept in the nude. I did not know Luke was one of them. He sighed in his sleep and rolled onto his back, providing me an excellent view of his perfectly sculpted body lying peacefully on the ground. Effectively distracted from any other thoughts, I gazed at him lying there for a moment longer before feeling like this was turning potentially awkward…if he should happen to wake while I was staring…I doubted he would be offended, but all the same…

I tried clearing my throat and calling out to him quietly, hoping to wake him gently as I clung at the door, peering around the edge. I called his name again, a little louder, and this time he sniffled and finally came to. He rolled his head sleepily toward my voice and smiled an early-morning smile when he saw me, blinking lazily in the first few rays of sun. I tucked behind the doorway a little further, trying to grant him the option of a little privacy, should he want it, but he only yawned and rolled over onto his side, toward me. Luke reached around himself lazily, looking for some clothing, but when none readily presented itself, he shrugged and turned his face to me again, smiling a little more heartily this time as he woke more fully.

"Jenna, hey, come in." He took one more cursory glance around for any kind of garment, then gave it up as a lost cause. "Eh, you've seen it all already, anyway," he shrugged with an easy smile, propping himself up on one elbow. I grinned and came inside, folding myself onto the ground next to his mat. I well remembered Luke's naked form shining in the moonlight, but in the soft glow of early morning, he seemed even more striking. He grinned up at me, his eyes still heavy with sleep, and got caught up in a giant yawn as he laid back down flat. His mouth opened wide, baring his fangs, and he stretched from end to end, arms reaching above his head and toes reaching down in the opposite direction. I blushed in spite of myself. Damn, he was stunning. I had to touch. I reached out hesitantly and laid a hand on his ribs as he finished his yawning stretch. He watched me do it and glanced from my hand on his body to my face as I kept my eyes on his steadily rising and falling chest.

"Jenna?" he inquired in a sweet, quiet voice, two deep intoned syllables rumbling from his chest. I looked at his face, patient and open, just curious, and I sighed.

"You are so beautiful, Luke," I sighed to him, still feeling the pang of guilt from everything I had done with him and Jake. I gazed over his body again, down to his toes and back up to his face, knowing that his finely sculpted form held much more than just his physical appearance. I really loved him. I really did. I felt the little foreboding twinge in my gut again, just tiny, very slight… I was struck by the desire to feel Luke in my hands, commit as much of him to memory as I could. I didn't know what would change that night when we traveled to the Tree of Souls, but whatever came, I wanted to remember Luke just like this, lying at peace, here in the morning rays of sunlight. The man waited patiently as I rolled the thoughts around in my mind. He just gazed up at me, wondering and waiting. "May I…may I just…feel you? Luke?" I asked in an a rather awkward stutter, cringing as the words garbled their way out of my mouth. Luke knew me well. He took it in stride and paused for only a moment before nodding at me, his softly sweet smile forming a gentle curve on his lips.

My eyes traveled over him again as he just watched me, propping an arm behind his head. I stroked across his abdomen, feeling the muscles across his stomach, solid and firm even as relaxed as they were. I felt his chest, and each space in between his ribs. His breathing was as deep and steady as it always was, his heartbeat palpable under my palm. The sound of him and the movement from his lungs were extraordinarily soothing to me, and I smiled at him as I gained the courage to touch him more boldly. I reached my fingers up to his jaw and felt the sturdy bone beneath his smooth striped skin. I ran a thumb across his soft lips and he smiled a little wider. I played with the inside edge of his lip and he opened his mouth wider to let me feel the tips of his sharp fangs. I turned my head side to side, looking and feeling, exploring his face, his ears, his neck and shoulders. Luke just stared at me silently, a look of gentle wonder on his face as I examined him. I felt down his side, feeling into the creases the lines of muscle created on his body. I ran my hand around in front of his hip, the point of his pelvis hard and stretching the skin taut. I brushed the edge of my hand against the soft, squishy folds of his groin on my way down his thigh. I would be back for that. I felt into the valleys of his leg muscles, each layer wrapping over the next in perfect harmony. He shifted slightly and the muscles bunched under my fingers. The movement made my blood rush through my heart for a moment, to feel the 'man-in-motion'. I glanced back up at his face and he swallowed, looking slightly apologetic for interrupting my exploration, but I just smiled at him and resumed my study.

I marveled at how quickly I had become accustomed to the Na'vi bodies, my own and the others around me. Jake's and Luke's. So much of the appearance was, should have been, foreign to me…the hue of the skin, the stripes and bioluminescent speckles, the absence of any peach fuzz except for delicate hairs along the eyebrows, which was even more than the natural Na'vi had…the ears, prehensile and well attuned to the world at large, the tail…the body beneath my fingers was not Luke's original, I knew, but it was the one I had grown to love, for the mere fact that it was him inside it.

I kept feeling down his leg, shifting a little so I could reach around his knee and feel the delicate skin underneath, down his bony shin and around the thick ropy muscles of his calf. I felt the line of his muscles slope toward his ankle and rubbed the thin skin over the bone. I even worked my fingers around his toes, holding each one and flexing and bending them back and forth a bit. Luke didn't twitch at all. He lay there and let me explore him, completely. I glanced back up his body, to the pouch of soft skin puddling low on his abdomen, the whole of his manhood hanging loosely between his powerful legs. I wanted to feel those delicate folds of skin, feel the bulge encased within, feel his entire male anatomy under my hands. I figured there would be a time limit on that exploration before Luke's body responded as it was designed to and his blood flow was rerouted to the area, but I wanted to feel him all the same, every bit of him. Between everything I felt for the man and my behavior toward him of late, I wasn't sure how he would take it. I rather suspected he would let me touch him however and wherever I wished…but I didn't know.

I shifted again to sit comfortably by his side facing him and ran my hand back up his leg, feeling the myriad of muscles underneath my palm one more time. I let my hand rest on his hip, pressing gently down against his abdomen, and looked up at his face. He was still watching me, intent, patient, and calm. "May I?" I asked him again, moving my hand closer to his center, and he nodded. Even with his permission, I was hesitant. At first. I fingered him gently, the squashy folds of skin so thin, so soft…almost downy. I could feel the slightly firmer swelling of him nestled within the delicate skin. I worked a gentle finger around the edge of one of the outer folds, rolling it carefully between my finger and thumb, enjoying the silky feel. I felt him begin to swell, ever so slightly. I didn't have much time. I played with the creases between the folds, gently, carefully, watching how they stretched and pulled as he swelled some more, the very tip of his shaft beginning to poke out from inside the rolls of skin. The sight of his burgeoning arousal was intoxicating to me, though I maintained my poise and just kept feeling him calmly. I cupped my palm around the base of the pouch again and palpated him gently, enjoying the feel of him in my hand. I hadn't meant to come here and wake the man in such a manner as this, but now that it had come to it, I found myself wanting nothing more, guilty feelings be damned.

Luke was breathing deeply and slowly, his face the picture of one who was concentrating hard. He was trying his best to control his body's reaction to me, to let me keep feeling him without expectation. His eyes had closed as he tried to focus and he did not see nor hear my own poise begin to falter in response to him. I kept palpating him, teasing him now into a state of full arousal. Luke writhed on the ground a bit, his legs pressing together, his back hunching a little…his movement was not encouraging me to help him keep his focus. Not one bit.

Luke's steady rhythmic breathing faltered and he whispered, "Oh, Jenna…" I looked up at his face as he said again, "Nnnn, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna," warning me that he was losing his battle of wills between his mind and his body. I was done exploring his body with my hands, though, and wanted to break through his own resistance to himself. I shifted again next to him and realized I could still feel the tenderness Jake had left me with from the previous day. I wondered briefly if there was something wrong with me…to want both of these men so desperately, especially in such a short span of time. Was I really so sex crazed? Luke knocked me from my ponderings with a sharp inhalation as I squeezed him, and I made my decision. I pulled the foreskin…if it could be called that on this body…back between my fingers and released him completely. Luke gasped and sighed as he let go of his resistance, allowing himself to respond as he was designed.

I inhaled and sighed loudly, gazing down at Luke stretched out before me in all his glory. I shifted onto my knees and crawled over his thighs, grasping him by the hilt in both hands. Luke looked at me then, from my hands to my face, wonder and just a hint of puzzlement in his gaze. I looked at him steadily, hoping he would accept this. I wanted this.

"Luke…?"

"Yes, Jenna, you may," he rumbled in a deep voice, a tiny grin flickering on the corner of his delicate lips. I smiled and dipped down to take him gently in my mouth, wrapping my tongue around him to protect him from my own fangs. Luke gasped and let it out in a long heavy sigh before he resumed his steady breathing, although it was deeper, faster. I explored him more intimately with tongue and lips, my fingers at his base palpating gently where a remnant of loose skin remained to form that sweet and sensuous pouch. I marveled at how tightly the skin was stretched around him, so thin and fragile. I could feel his pulse very intimately with my lips closed tight around him, feel the rush of blood as it flowed through him. I rose and fell with his abdomen, his breathing heavy yet steady, and I surreptitiously pulled a hand away to pluck at the strings of my loincloth. I would be ready for him.

Luke groaned my name in a deep, low rumble. "Jenna…" I glanced up at him, my lips surrounding him. He was panting hard as he looked down his torso at me. "Bite me…" he rasped, growling a little. "Please…" I was a little shocked at his request, but his face implored me…I bit down on him gently, my teeth poking into his tight, delicate skin ever so slightly. Luke groaned sharply, encouraging me to press my teeth against him again. As I did, he thrust vigorously upward, the sudden movement causing my fangs to catch on his shaft. I felt my teeth snag at the tender skin, dragging harshly against him, as Luke caught his breath with a sharp gasp and whimpered a shaky "Ow." I placed my tongue soft and firm against him, pulling my teeth away, and tasted the silvery tang of his scraped skin. I pulled my mouth away from him, feeling awful for hurting him, even at his own request, and kissed him gently, peering back up at his face.

"Was that too much?" I asked quietly. Luke looked at me and jerked his head to the side, a funny little smile twisting his lips into a curve. His face plainly said yes, but he had liked it anyway. I couldn't help but let loose a tiny chuckle…the scientist's appetite did tend to be a little kinky, and I found I was not terribly surprised by it. I grinned again and dipped my mouth back down to envelop him once again, more tongue, though, and less teeth this time, regardless of what he would have liked.

I opened my jaws a little wider as he began to writhe, trying to keep the delicate skin from snagging on my fangs again. It was such thin skin. I felt Luke's hands reaching for me, scrabbling at my shoulders, his breath faltering again.

"Jenna…please…please…" he entreated me. I let go of him with one last lick and crawled over his hips, straddling and settling down on top of him. I let out a quiet grunt as his anatomy merged with mine, still feeling a little tender from the previous day but reveling in the feel of Luke filling me so completely. Luke shuddered and groaned, his head tilting back and his eyes closing in rapture as I enveloped him, too caught up in the sensation to pay any heed to my momentary discomfort. I ground against him, getting caught up in the sensations myself and also in Luke's visceral response to me. He thrust his hips upward and bent his knees, getting his feet beneath himself and bracing against the ground. I lifted myself off of him, just a little, imagining that tightly stretched skin and fearing putting too much pressure on those tooth-damaged areas by continuing to grind against him, but Luke clearly had other ideas. He clamped onto my thighs and hauled me back down hard, grinding his hips up into me as he growled, baring his fangs in an ecstatic snarl. For as soft a touch as he had, he certainly did have a predilection for rough sex. I crushed my pelvis back down against his, reveling in the intensity and deciding to trust his judgment regarding how much was too much for him.

He came hard, his sweet heat pulsing through my nether regions. It was a wonder of this body that I so readily responded to him…only a moment later, I rushed over the brink of oblivion to join my lover. Never before had I experienced such a nearly-simultaneous ecstasy as I had with Luke…and with Jake. Questions simmered in my hazy mind about that, hinting at the involvement of the pre-tsahaylu bond, but the delightful feel of Luke's body as one with mine took precedence as the questions fled back from whence they came, banished in the wake of this rapture.

Luke was still panting hard when he lifted his head to look down at our bodies merged as they were. He glanced up at my face, still panting, before letting his head fall back against the ground again. "Holy fuck, Jenna," he said, closing his eyes, his lungs heaving. A grin played at the corner of my lips. I had never heard Luke swear like that…it seemed an awfully appropriate turn of phrase.

Eventually, I climbed off of him and I heard Luke make a sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh. I eased myself down onto the ground and peered at him, countless emotions racing through my mind. Luke was laid out flat, his arms spread out to the side, legs slightly apart. He looked like a sacrifice to the morning sun, to creation and procreation itself, spread-eagled on the ground, the evidence of me all over him.

"I'm sorry, Luke, for…" I said in a quiet voice, intending to apologize for the tooth snag, if not for everything else that had gone on between us in the past few days and weeks. Luke's eyes snapped open and onto mine. He sat up straight and hopped onto his knees in one rapid, fluid motion. I was really taken by the athleticism of the movement, especially as I realized that Luke had not even so much as sat up yet that morning..

Luke leaned into me, crouching steadily on his feet, taking my cheek in his hand and speaking softly but intensely, "Don't you dare apologize for that. Don't you dare." He kissed me with his feather soft lips and tongue, and I wondered if he meant the damage to his delicate bits, or if he also meant my behavior…I marveled to myself that he very likely understood my entire mind on the matter, and had meant it to cover all of it. He was so tender, so sincere as he kissed me that I almost cried. After we had composed ourselves and bid each other adieu to get cleaned up, I did cry. I cried quietly to myself as I washed in the river, scrubbing away the vestiges of Luke on my skin as I had washed away the evidence of Jake just yesterday, the river water washing away the sweat even as the tears were failing to wash away the guilt. I was unworthy of either one of them.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Perhaps the two men were also feeling the portent I had been feeling for two days, because we each spent the rest of the morning quietly going about our own tasks close to the village. I had shared pleasantries with Jake when I had encountered him around the cool fire pit, snagging some breakfast to take back to my hollow, and Luke…I had met him again as I had come back from the river and although he hadn't said a word, he had laid a tender hand across my cheek and left me with a deep and loving kiss as he passed by, on his way to retrieve some breakfast, himself. Ultimately we had gone our own ways, a trend that had continued into the afternoon, waiting until Mo'at came to gather us for the journey to the Tree of Souls. After some food and solitude, I had managed to still the storm in my heart and was calmly weaving a new project and chatting amiably with the clanswomen when I saw Mo'at and Jake heading toward me. I set down my weaving, leaving it in the care of my sisters as Mo'at came up to me and said, simply, "It is time."

I shared a smile and a squeeze of the hand with Jake as we followed Mo'at to the pa'li grazing area, where I saw Luke already preparing the creatures for our journey. We needed only minimal supplies; we would likely be staying overnight, and although the men were fully outfitted with knives and bows, Mo'at carried only a simple knife with her, and I chose to leave my own weapons behind completely. My decision was noted and accepted, if not met with utmost approval.

By mid-afternoon we were underway, Luke leading us through the trees with Mo'at and me riding behind him in line, Jake bringing up the rear. We talked only sparingly as we traveled. I had the impression each of us were absorbed in our own thoughts as we rode for the portentous Tree of Souls.

We reached our destination just as the sun was beginning its final descent below the horizon. Mo'at spoke to us all, preparing us. The risk would be minimal, as we had experienced this tempered shared tsahaylu already, and would hopefully be better prepared for it this time. She said this looking particularly at me, and I understood. I had gained a lot of experience in the weeks I had had with the tribe, and she had spoken to me earlier about guiding my thoughts away from the trauma I had experienced, and casting them forward instead to feel any inkling of the path ahead of me. If anything that had happened so far held any answers, it would be revealed by looking forward. I had not completely understood what she had meant by this, but I trusted her. We dismounted and walked sedately toward the great trunk. I would try my best.

All four of us stood side by side in a small circle around the lower hanging vines of the great Tree. I stood between Mo'at and Luke, directly facing Jake. Mo'at guided us through a brief meditation and prayer, imploring Eywa for her wisdom, and then she grasped several vines together and joined her queue to the Tree as she had done before. She nodded to the men and to me, stating quietly, "Jennavie, above mine, please," as we reached for our queues and joined them with the glowing vines. I knew now that Mo'at's presence, her connection between my queue and those belonging to the men on either side of me, was simply to provide an extra buffer, one more safeguard, less experienced as I was in the bonds of tsahaylu and potentially less able to keep my own spirit whole and undamaged by the proximity of the other bonds.

I saw Jake give me an almost longing glance as the tendrils of my queue joined with the Tree. I looked at Jake, and I looked at Luke, who was also peering in my direction, with a look of caring and concern. I wondered again if they were feeling the same twinge in their own guts.

I gasped lightly as my consciousness blended with the souls contained within Eywa and the people around me. I felt my mind swing wildly back to my fatal injury but I fought to control it. Mo'at murmured quietly to me, "Forward, child," and I tried harder. I could feel Mo'at guiding me, recognizing my own thought patterns as distinct from the Tsahik's. I felt Jake and Luke also, patient, waiting, holding their own minds and thoughts in check as Mo'at helped steer me, mysteriously, 'forward'. As I made a greater effort to move my thoughts in a forward direction under her guidance, I felt my mind swing suddenly onward as if racing toward a blinding light. I felt out of control. I saw Mo'at frown out of the corner of my eye, perplexed and concentrating on steadying my wild train of thought, and felt her probe a little into the blank space we seemed headed for.

The light exploded in our minds as all four of us staggered a little. I was hit hard by the shock of it and cried out in a tiny "Ah!" as I fought to keep my knees from buckling under the impact from whatever this was. My eyes open and my mind vulnerable, I saw and felt the two men's desire to assist but also heard Mo'at's quiet command of "No". Thoughts, images began to blur as if racing around and around too fast to focus on any one of them. Spooked and confused, I searched for understanding. I saw as much as felt the worried frown creasing the older woman's brow…she had realized something. Somehow she had caught a tiny snippet of understanding from the brilliant explosion in our minds.

Something had happened during our first bond like this, that first day. As we had joined, a tiny seed had been planted in Jake, in Luke, and in myself. A tiny possibility of the ties of tsahaylu, not a bond, not even the glimmer of pre-tsahaylu connection Jake had told me about, but a possibility…planted by my own desperate need for comfort and safety in my vulnerable state, and nurtured by the growing love I had felt for each of them in the weeks since. Mo'at had not known it had happened, and such was her steady control of her own mind and body that she had not been a part of it. Through Mo'at's mind, now, I knew this was an unusual circumstance…an accident, but all I could say to myself was, 'this is my fault'.

The Tsahik was fighting hard to maintain control of the connection but the blend of thoughts were beginning to swirl, passions to flow, and not just my own. I felt sparks of the past several weeks race through my mind, carrying with them the same emotions and feelings as the events themselves. It was as if a dam had burst between us all and everything was beginning to flow through, every last little emotion, even as Mo'at tried desperately to curb the flood of memories. I tried to pull my queue from the vine, willing the connection to break, but my body wouldn't comply. Emotions ran rampant, wild and uncontrolled, and I felt a fury rising through the maelstrom. I glanced around, momentarily confused…I saw that Luke had a snarl on his lips and was glaring through half-lidded eyes over at Jake.

Panicked and forgetting my guilt, I searched for the reason behind Luke's rage…and found it easily. Jake wanted tsahaylu with me. This alone should not have incited Luke's wrath, I thought, not to the extent I was feeling through our connection. But then I felt again the trickle of Jake's tear down my breast…this time accompanied by what Jake had been feeling yesterday. He had been momentarily willing to fight against his brother for the bond with me. I looked with wide eyes at Jake, astonished. His gaze was stern, defiant, and locked with Luke's. I felt Luke's rage blossom as he shared the memories of his Oloeyktan, the memories of Jake's hands on my body, his lips on mine, and not just hands and lips…just yesterday. I heard Jake snarl and felt him recognizing the passion Luke and I had shared so recently, as well, raging against the image of Luke's body engaged with my own. Mo'at and I both stared in horror, paralyzed by shock and fear, as the two men's rage and fury overwhelmed them, standing there silently, still joined to the Tree. I felt Luke ready to leap, saw Jake shake his head back and forth, just slightly, a silent and deadly warning in his gaze.

Suddenly, the link was broken. Luke snarled and hauled his hand and queue from the vine, reaching for his knife and launching himself at Jake in the same motion. As soon as Luke severed the connection, I felt my own queue drop readily from the vine and I staggered backward. Mo'at caught me and held my arms, backing away from both Jake and Luke and dragging me with her, fear and horror still plain on her face.

Jake had spun away when Luke had jumped forward but the agile man had still cut him across his torso, caught himself quickly and spun, swinging back around for a fresh attack. Jake had his knife in hand by the time Luke came back around and sliced him severely across the arm as he came within reach.

"No!" I screamed, but Mo'at held me tight.

"No, child!" she yelled, holding me firm. If she had been shocked by the twisted triangle I had woven with the two men now snarling and circling each other, she did not show it. She only held me tight and stared in terror at the both of them. I fought against her firm grasp as the two men slashed at each other relentlessly, neither one of them showing a second of mercy to the other, their ferocity as they pitted themselves against each other truly frightening.

Luke roared in fury as Jake's blade cut him again and again, and he swung his fist around, catching Jake's jaw with the hilt of his knife, his weight behind the blow. It connected with a sickening crack. Jake reeled but recovered quickly, barely missing a beat and he grabbed Luke bodily, throwing him to the ground, attempting to plant a knee in his gut as he landed. Luke shoved him aside and twisted in his grasp, wielding his knife again and catching Jake across the stomach. Luke managed to wrench himself free from Jake's crushing grip as Jake howled, and flung himself away, only to crouch again, ready, ears flat back, fangs bared. Jake roared and crouched also, his massive bulk poised and ready, his jaw bloody. Luke threw himself at Jake again, aiming for his midsection, laying another slash across the man's stomach. Jake braced and caught Luke's momentum even as the new slice seeped red, jaws gaping as he redirected his aggressor's body to the side. I saw Luke slash again at Jake's torso and catch him across the back in a second stroke as Jake's jaws lunged at Luke's passing head. Luke screamed as he was flung from the embrace, droplets of blood spraying through the air. Luke pressed a hand to his ear. It came away covered in blood.

"No," I whimpered, and struggled again against Mo'at's grip.

Luke knelt on the ground, hand to his head, glaring at Jake. Jake spat the blood from his mouth and stood, similarly glaring down at Luke. He held his knife loosely in one hand as he patted at his jaw gingerly with the other, seeping red from the blow Luke had landed there. Jake shifted idly in place, towering above Luke, but he looked no less dangerous for his outwardly easy stance. He held the man below him in a wicked and deadly glare, just waiting.

Luke jumped to his feet and backed away quickly, pulling his hand from his ear and glancing at the evidence of the damage Jake had done, his hand covered in blood, a swath of red streaking down his neck and dribbling down his chest. He shook the blood from his hand, defiant, and circled around Jake. The Oloeyktan hadn't twitched a muscle when Luke jumped up, and began to circle slowly with his clansman, mirroring his movements. Both men snarled at each other and began growling again. As they launched back into each other, knives slashing and fists punching, it began to dawn on me that this was not just an angry jealous brawl…they were prepared to fight each other to the death.

Jake continued to throw Luke to the ground, slashing at him with knife and teeth, landing heavy blows to his head and gut. Luke, agile enough to keep twisting out of Jake's grip after only one or two blows, kept spinning and ramming his fist, knife hilt, and knees into Jake's chest and chin. They were pummeling each other in close contact, biting and snarling, too close for a deep fatal stab, but close enough to keep slicing at each other, flaying each other's skin. Blood was flowing freely from their wounds, streaking across their shoulders and down their legs.

I saw Luke snarl again and lunge at Jake's neck, jaws open wide. Jake caught his teeth on his forearm and grabbed him around the middle. He stepped into him, swept a leg behind Luke's knees and slammed him to the ground yet again, landing bodily on top of him, his arm jammed in Luke's mouth. Jake shoved himself harshly up off of Luke's body. Luke choked and gasped, spitting blood from the new tear in his lip and struggling to get up. Both men were tiring, but Luke was starting to lose ground, succumbing to the massive repeated beatings and loss of blood. As quick as Luke was, he simply couldn't match Jake's raw power. Jake spat blood from his mouth as he paced around the downed man, his lip also torn, more blood from Luke's bite dripping down his fingers and onto the ground. He paced back and forth as Luke finally managed to roll onto his hands and severely damaged knees, slowly getting his feet underneath him again. He was still glaring up at Jake, fury and desperation etching his face, but not giving in a single inch to the ferocious Oloeyktan.

Luke rolled back onto his haunches, onto his bloody knees, his right leg a mess of slash wounds, and rolled back onto his feet, favoring his slashed right leg and panting hard, preparing for the next onslaught. He gripped his knife tight and shifted position, taking advantage of the momentary reprieve; he was holding the blade ready to plunge it deep into his aggressor. Jake noticed and swayed back and forth on the spot, adjusting his own grip.

I struggled hard and finally ripped myself free from Mo'at's hands. She screamed at me as I ran headlong toward the two men, "No, child! No!"

Luke roared and lunged, leaping at Jake off of his good left leg, his ears pinned in fury and caked with blood, his knife held ready to plunge down into his foe. Jake crouched and launched himself forward at Luke, ears laid flat against his skull, fangs bared in a furious snarl. He hadn't waited for Luke to strike first, this time…he had lunged forward just as Luke had leapt. Jake took a powerful crouched step toward the other man and I saw the glint of his knife, ready to come up into Luke's ribs as the other man pounced. Jake was going to kill him.

I screamed and pelted toward them, my cries lost amidst the tremendous snarling and roars of fury. My world turned more slowly as I watched, Luke poised to fall onto Jake's knife, Luke's weapon ready to stab deep into Jake's neck. My lovers' inexorable plunge toward each other slowed to a stop as a voice came to me, in my mind.

_Daughter_.

It was the voice of Eywa. She spoke to me, and it chilled me to the bone while filling me with the warmth of the world. My intellectual mind knew this was a strange feeling, but in this place, only emotion and energy reigned. There was no room for anything but my emotional reaction. Why is this happening? I thought in desperation. Please forgive me, forgive them! It's my fault it's come to this, I implored the Great Spirit.

_No blame. Only choices._

But my choices have led me here, I shouted in my mind, or tried to shout. If I had chosen differently…

_Different choices. Different consequence._

I paused in thought, not comprehending, this strange non-place buffering my heated emotion. Did that mean things would have been the same even if I had chosen differently? Would they have been better? Worse?

_Does not exist. Only here. Only now. All choice has consequence._

I thought I understood. I couldn't, or shouldn't worry about other choices I might have made…my decisions were already done, unchangeable. Would have's and should have's were not applicable anymore. There were no do-overs, only the forward progression of time.

_Yes_.

But…do they have to die? I asked the Great Mother.

_Choose._

Between who? I thought with quiet despair. How could I choose either man over the other? How could I condemn one to death?

_Luke. Or you_.

My despair fell through shock and landed flat into something worse. I felt blank. Empty.

_Jake Sully will kill Luke. Or his knife will kill you._

I felt deadened. I was numb in this place of emotional energy. I tried to consider my choice. I felt I knew what would happen if Luke was killed. Jake and I could be bound, if we could ever manage to heal from this horror show.

_Yes._

But what if I was killed? Would the two men still hurt each other? Would their rage continue until they were both dead? How would that be better?

_No. Both live. Heal_.

And I understood it to mean both their bodies and their hearts would heal. The words being pressed into my mind were simple but held a conversation full of meaning behind them. They would recover from this. They would restore their friendship, their brotherhood. And I knew right away the choice I would make…I wondered if they would forget me…if they would forgive me.

_Never. Always._

Why Jake? I asked, not quite ready to accept inevitability. Why must he be the one to land the killing stroke? Luke was poised to spill Jake's lifeblood as readily as Jake's knife was prepared to pierce Luke's heart. I didn't want Luke killing Jake, either, but…why Jake?

_Strong heart. Will bear it._

How can he bear to kill either his brother or his lover? I asked, still not comprehending.

_Can, no. Will._

I understood. Not, Jake can bear it, but Jake will bear it. Luke would not. And understanding this, I knew it was truth. Luke was a strong man, but he would not endure the act of killing either his brother, or me. It would destroy him. Through the strange flow of energy in my mind, I also understood now that Luke's knife would not strike Jake's jugular. He would be wounded, but not fatally, whereas Jake's knife would surely puncture Luke's heart. Jake was going to kill one of us. It was in my hands to decide who.

Why? I asked. Why am I being offered this choice? Why was I ever offered the choice to materialize here, in impossible circumstances…why was I offered the choice to live or die back on Earth? The pregnant silence that responded to the question was full of unspoken answers that ought never be heard, not by any who walked across the lands of the planets in the sky. The answers were not meant for us. I thought again about my hands…these were my hands…

I felt a treble run through my mind, through my non-body in this strange non-place. Was Eywa chuckling? Without any noticeable words pressed into my mind, I felt a vague notion that this body had always been meant for me…a flash of memory from years ago, a young woman who had bumped into me accidentally on her way into a building, her friend calling to her, "Annie, hurry up!" Somehow, a shred of life, a scrap of energy, from my spirit to hers…

I looked back again at the frozen image of my two lovers locked in their fury, forgetting the strange turn of events that had somehow brought me here, somehow brought me to this place with these two men, both of whom I loved more than any other I had ever loved back on Earth. Loved more than life itself. I lamented, then, for myself and for Jake, and for Luke.

_They will remember. _

I'm sorry, I thought. I'm sorry that my love for Luke and my love for Jake led them to this. I'm sorry for so many things.

_Choices. No blame. No blame._

I felt a warmth emanate through my core, as if Eywa was smiling at me. I was ready. I felt my mind returning to my body, felt myself in mid-stride, mouth wide in a scream. My ears began to hear again the snarling din of the men not three feet away. We began to move again, slowly. The choice was still before me. I could cease my forward movement, or jump to the side; I could let Jake kill Luke. In that split second, I remembered Luke's prostrate body laid out before me in the morning light…his skin had shone brilliantly in the rays of the early sun, his limbs spread-eagled on the ground. Never, I thought. I would never sacrifice Luke for my own life.

I plunged in between the two men as time resumed its normal pace. I felt Luke's knife slice into my shoulder, and Jake's blade plunge deep into my stomach. Such was the force with which I had thrown myself between them that I hurled them both to the ground, all of us falling together. Jake and Luke collapsed on top of me. I felt no pain as the men hauled themselves off of my limp body…Eywa's last gift to me. The men looked down at my fatal injury, horror in their eyes as they took in my injuries, their fury at each dissipating as quickly as the blood rushing from my deep wounds. My shoulder wept in a dark red trail down my arm; my stomach gushed forth my lifeblood. Red droplets from my lovers' faces fell like tears upon my skin. There was so much blood.

I lay on the ground, Jake leaning over me on my right, hands trying futilely to hold closed the wound in my stomach, even around the blade still embedded there, tears already leaking from the corners of his beautiful eyes. Luke leaned over me on my left, his shaking hands laid gently over Jake's, willing my body to stop gushing. With my strength rapidly fading, I closed my eyes and laid a hand on each of them. I willed myself to speak, I begged Eywa…they need this, Jake needs this, especially. I was granted the strength to whisper, "Forgive you," into the air between the two men. They would each take what they needed from my dying words.

My mind went blank, and I was greeted by the voice that had taken me to this planet so long ago, it seemed. I followed it again, this time into timelessness itself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Luke walked into the lab, the outer bay doors already open wide to allow the fresh Pandoran air inside. He padded a little gingerly into the building and down the hall, passing through two sets of doors, following the sounds of his fellow researchers in the next room and moving to join them, reluctantly. He had come to find out how his experimental bugs were doing in the lab settings, as scheduled; he would have been eager for the progress report a week ago. But not today. Today, Luke knew he had to check on them, had to record the appropriate data, but then he would be gone again, away from this blasted place. He didn't intend to stay long. Not today. He hitched a small smile onto his face and broke through the doors, stooping under the doorway and greeting the four humans in masks as he walked in.

"Hey guys," Luke greeted in a low voice as the others turned toward him.

"Hey Luke, how's-" Max stopped at once seeing the state his fellow researcher was in as the other three gaped and stared. He glanced at Annie, standing by his side, and back at Luke, taking in the deep cuts on his arm, his tattered left ear, a full half of it seemingly torn off, the deep slashes in his upper lip, the mincemeat that should have been his right thigh and knee. It was bound, but not well enough to disguise the obvious, and severe, damage nor the clear evidence that it had been cauterized. Luke cleared his throat and limped over to his table of samples, ignoring his colleagues' reaction to his appearance and pored over the insect larvae, each in their own tiny biome.

"Hey," he said again with a quick sigh, hoping to skip past this part. He should have waited for Jake, he thought. Stupid, Luke, you should have waited. "So, how're these guys doing?"

"Uh, fine. Man…" Max wasn't going to let his friend brush him off so easily. "…what happened to you?" he asked quietly. Luke took several steadying breaths. They didn't help. His friends were murmuring their concern. He had to say something. He spat out the first thing that came to his mind. The thing that had been on his mind, waking or sleeping, for days.

"Jenna's dead," he said shortly. He leaned against his table, staring at its fake granite surface, wishing he hadn't said it. Wishing he didn't have to say it. Max came over slowly and laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. Luke winced against the pain. Even as small as Max's human hands were on the large Na'vi's shoulder, he had a hard time finding any spot large enough that did not have at least a few abrasions. He left his hand where it was.

"Luke…oh, Luke, I'm sorry," Max was one of the few that knew how Luke had felt about the mysterious woman who had cropped up in their lab that day. He felt his pain deeply, and was shocked by the news, himself. "What happened? Were you guys attacked?" Luke shook his head, his eyes closed tight, unable to speak. This was being much harder than he had expected. Max persisted, gently. "What did this to you?"

"I did." The researchers all turned sharply at the sound of Jake's voice and huddled together almost imperceptibly as he came through the door. He wore the same intimidating look he usually did when visiting the human facility, the same stern gaze, but his body was criss-crossed with slashes and punctures, no bandage sufficient enough to cover the shredded skin on his stomach. He came into the lab further and they saw clearly the bruises and slices on his body and face as well, the gash on his jawline just beginning to heal and the deep tear in his lip. "Brother…" Jake rumbled in a quiet voice, addressing Luke, "…you wanna give us a minute?" Luke stood leaning against his table, staring down into the rock-like pattern, and just shook his head. The humans stood dumbfounded, a little frightened still by the imposing Oloeyktan, and wondering why he had beaten their fellow researcher to such a pulp. Truth be told, Max was a little surprised Luke had survived such a beating, whatever else had happened. He knew Jake better than the others, for what little that was worth, and he knew the Oloeyktan was a fierce warrior, unrelenting, and powerful. He had used his military training well and adapted it into a frighteningly effective tool. But still…the senior scientist took note of Jake's equally severe injuries. Max guessed that it must have been Luke that had done it to him. The fight must have been horrific.

Jake launched into his short, prepared speech in a low, dead voice, his words slurring a little as his jaw, still obviously painful, kept him from using it to its full capacity. He gave the research team the short version of what had happened, telling them briefly of the fight between himself and Luke, not over what, and Jenna being caught in the middle. No one dared ask him any questions; they had the bare info they needed to know, and could question Luke about it later, if he was ever willing to talk. They wouldn't push him on it. Not today.

Annie was shocked and saddened. She hadn't spoken to Jenna at all, and had no desire to, really. She had felt weird thinking about facing her avatar and its strange occupant. But now that she was gone, Annie felt her loss. She wondered now what Jenna was like, if she was anything like herself. Her avatar was gone, killed in battle, of a sort, and she found that she missed her a little, just knowing that she had existed and now was gone. She had never known, and never would, that she had in fact met the woman, years ago, in another life, separate from this one on Pandora.

Max, of course, guessed what had happened, or some version of it, and shuddered again imagining the brawl between the two Na'vi over the woman, Jenna. Both wore what were unmistakably knife and bite wounds…lots of them, large and small. They had clearly fought with no remorse. He felt a chill and a very deep sadness, imagining that strange girl getting caught in between them. He glanced over at Luke, hunched over his table, deep in despair…his kind and gentle friend…who had inflicted such severe damage on Jake Sully. He shivered again as he looked at Luke, even in the warm lab.

Jake walked over to Luke and spoke back and forth with him quietly for a moment, then turned back toward the door, ready to leave once more. They were surprised to see his stern gaze waver, just a little, and he tilted his head, feeling his jaw tenderly. It reminded Max of the old Jake Sully, the human he had known.

"Take care, man," he said to Jake, nodding his head. He wouldn't be so familiar as to lay a hand on him, but he would offer his words, at least. Jake looked at Max, remembering his old friend and their old alliances.

"Yeah, you too, Max," he said, nodding as well. He turned to go.

"Brother…?" Luke had twisted his neck around and called out in a quietly desperate voice. He was barely aware of the other researchers in the room in his heartache. Jake paused at the door, peering back at his fellow clansman. "…thanks." It was a quick, strained word, but genuine. Jake tilted his head again with a tiny half-grin then nodded curtly and strode out of the room, out of the building.

Max, Anne, and the others stood nervously for a minute, letting Luke recover himself. Luke heaved an enormous sigh, slapped the table with the palm of his hand with a deafening smack, then turned again to his friends. "Alright! Now, come one…tell me what's been going on here." They recognized their friend's need, even as they jumped at the sudden sound, and launched into a discussion about the insects' progress they had recorded since they had last seen Luke.

**… …**

**…**

**… …**

Jake sighed. Three months had passed since Jenna's death. Life within the clan had regained some semblance of normality. Luke's experiment with the insects was ongoing, but already yielding very good results. About a third of the wreckage at each site he had chosen for field data had been degraded, and the insect populations were acting normally. It seemed when they lost the taste for metal, the insects reverted to their natural diet of other hard minerals in the surrounding flora, and they simply returned to their natural life cycle. Jake was pleased with the progress, and his clan were encouraged by the positive efforts, as were the humans.

But still…Jake found himself back at the lab facility for the fourth time in about five months. He did not want to be here.

"I really hate this place, you know," Jake said to his riding partner.

"Quit your whining," Luke replied. Jake just snorted at him. He had been sniping at him for the whole ride and Luke's patience was wearing thin.

"And I hate riding. I'd rather fly."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud Jake, you're like old man Rey'ta, complaining about every little thing," Luke cried out, exasperated. He knew Jake was baiting him, but he wasn't in the mood for it. He was switching out some equipment from village to lab and had asked Jake if he would help…now he was regretting it a little.

They reached the facility and left the pa'li to graze at the edge of the encampment, carrying Luke's supplies the rest of the way. Jake followed his clansman inside, "…doorways are too low….", and placed the heavy gear on the tabletops in Luke's lab. Jake started unpacking, placing the items on the table for Luke to organize while Luke went around the lab collecting those things he would be taking back with him and putting other things away. As the researcher busied himself swapping stuff out for other stuff, Jake wandered around the room, looking at the different specimen jars, some still containing old specimens, and the general detritus that tended to collect in Luke's lab. He walked over to the gurney sitting in the corner of the room. All the avatars had been claimed; no one would be awakening for their first glimpse through Na'vi eyes in this room anymore. Jake held out his hands, turning them over in the bright lights, remembering his first time waking up in his avatar. It hadn't been this room, but a similar enough one to remind him.

Luke looked up at Jake as he kept walking, reorganizing his equipment, and just watched him as he continued looking at his own hands. Luke kept moving across the room and walked right into a table with a loud bang, the tinkle of specimen jars falling against each other echoing through the room. Jake turned to him quickly, surprised by the sudden noise.

"You okay?" Luke nodded in response, grimacing and rubbing his knee, his right one. Jake knew it was the one so badly damaged in their fight. Luke hid it well, but Jake knew it still bothered him some days, at least. Jake sighed, trying not to remember the day he had been prepared to kill his brother for the love of the woman he missed so dearly. He reflected on the startling noise of Luke's unfortunate impact with the table and chuckled, despite himself, remembering what the sound had reminded him of. Luke turned to look at him, raising a questioning eyebrow. "You know, I smashed the lab up pretty good my first day in the avatar."

Luke stopped putting things away and raised both eyebrows, now. Jake had rarely spoken to him about those days ever since he had known him. He put down the jar he was carrying, leaning back against the offending table, surreptitiously resting his right leg. "What'd you do? Nag them into hysterical fits until there was flailing and gnashing of teeth?" Jake glanced up sharply at Luke, but with a glint in his eye. Luke grinned teasingly back. Jake snorted again, a wry smirk on his face.

"Yeah, something like that. No, actually I took out several trays of stuff with my tail, first time I noticed the damn thing," he said, quietly grinning to himself now, just remembering. Luke started to chuckle out loud.

"You know, when I woke up in my avatar I was so excited to start recording data I stood up too fast and fell back down, toppled right off the back of the gurney. Right on my ass," Luke said, making a swooping gesture with his hand. Jake laughed with him.

"Hell, brother, you did that when you woke up from the mind-meld, the transfer under the Tree of Souls…" They both laughed heartily at this for a moment until their memories brought them back to their last journey to the Tree of Souls. Their laughter died down gradually, as they reflected again on the woman they both had loved. She was on their minds, every day, but they had not spoken about her with each other. Luke turned back to his equipment, pausing with his hands on the jar. Just remembering. He turned to Jake who was staring at the floor, his right hand on his left shoulder, idly fingering an arm band pulled taut over his burly muscle. Luke wondered. He considered. He risked it.

"Did Jenna make that?" Luke asked quietly, amiably, quickly glancing back down at his jar, running a finger around the lid, feeling the sudden sharp tug of saying her name aloud for the first time in so long. He sighed deeply, exhaling slowly. He didn't see Jake nodding behind him, his eyes still fixed to the floor, but he wasn't much waiting for a response, anyway. The overwhelming sense of her loss flowed over him like a wave and he breathed deep, steadying himself against it. Death was a way of life among the Na'vi, one Luke had accepted long ago. He had accepted Jenna's death, but it was still hard to take. Hard to remember. The two clansmen stood in the bright fluorescent lights of the lab, each lost to his own thoughts and memories for several minutes.

"I miss her," Jake mumbled to the floor. Luke turned to look over his shoulder and met Jake's pained expression. He knew it. He felt it too.

"I do too," he replied in a small voice. Neither man liked to think of Jenna with the other. Jake sighed deeply and ambled over to the table, next to Luke, resting his hands against it and contemplating the jar under Luke's fingers. Luke stared back down at it and continued idly tracing the lip. Jake glanced up at his clansman's face, his scarred lip, his tattered ear. The wound had healed, but he would wear the raggedy torn edge forever. Jake sighed and grimaced, remembering the taste of his brother's blood in his mouth. He glanced down again, noticed Luke still resting his right leg.

"That knee still hurt?" Jake asked in a low, mild voice. Luke lifted his leg and stood on it properly.

"Sometimes. Yeah. I probably couldn't ride an ikran now, even if I wanted," and he smiled a tiny, rueful smile as he said it. Jake grunted noncommittally. "Naw, I'm better off closer to the ground anyway. Can't fall too far off the pa'li," Luke said, smiling a little wider. Jake looked at him and grinned a little. Just a little. "That jaw still bother you?" he asked in a deep, hushed voice, recalling the sickening crack the hilt of his knife had made against the bone, the damage he had inflicted. Jake opened and closed his jaws a couple times, testing it out. Luke heard an audible click each time he did it.

"Still clicks, especially when I eat."

Luke dropped his gaze again. There was still a lot of pain between them. Much of their renewed friendship was because of guilt; the guilt they felt for Jenna's death had completely erased their rage at each other the moment her blood was spilt, and the memory of her kept it from returning. Luke heard Jake's jaw click another couple of times.

"Especially anything sticky," he murmured.

Luke chortled to himself silently after a moment, the absurdity of Jake's comment gamboling around in his mind. He chuckled a little out loud. Jake looked up at him and Luke grinned in earnest, shaking his head a little. Jake grinned and huffed out a tiny laugh. Pretty soon, both Na'vi men were laughing out loud, the sound filling the lab and echoing down the empty hall.. They quieted again after a short time, still grinning.

After another few minutes of silence and awkward fiddling with things on the lab table, Jake spoke again. "You remember the way she would ask all kinds of questions?" he said, a sad grin on his lips. Luke glanced at him and returned it with a somber chuckle.

"Yeah. Like she was embarrassed to ask but couldn't stop herself. She would have made a good scientist-" Luke cut himself short, his face falling again. His words had reminded them both of the future she did not have, now. The silence was harsh before Jake broke it, again.

"Yeah, she would have," he said quietly. It sounded forced, and it was, but Luke recognized Jake's monumental effort to move through this pain, finally, at long last. He looked at Jake and they shared a pained smile with each other. He hated the vision of Jenna in Jake's arms, but he recognized the pain behind his brother's brave face…he knew just exactly how much he was hurting. And he remembered their friendship from days past. Jake was trying. He would try, too.

"Remember when she would stutter?" Luke asked, making an honest effort, himself. Jake smiled a little and nodded.

"Yeah. It was cute."

"Yeah," Luke agreed, smiling a little more genuinely. "Boy, some of the things she asked…" he said, shaking his head again, and truly smiling at the memories. Jake chuckled too.

"Oh, yeah…she came out with some awkward ones, for sure," Jake replied, smiling at his own memories. Luke grinned and nodded in agreement. He was quiet for a moment, recalling some of the more uncomfortable moments in their conversations. He relished every second of them.

"So, what was the most awkward thing she asked you?" Luke asked Jake, his tone beginning to lighten.

"Oh, man…" Jake chuckled, dropping his forehead to his knuckles on the table, remembering some of Jenna's inquiries, absolutely certain he was not going to share any of them with his clansman. "I don't know…what about you?"

"I asked you first," Luke replied with a grin.

"Petulant bastard," Jake retorted, with another grin. "Come on."

Luke chuckled a little at the teasing. He thought for a moment about his own query; he did actually remember very well the most uncomfortable conversation he'd had with Jenna. "Well, it's kind of two-fold, I guess…anyway, she asked me what was the most awkward thing I'd done in the name of science…" he trailed off.

Jake waited for just a moment. "And?"

Luke looked at him, startled, his face growing warm. No way was he going to tell Jake that story. He flushed a little, stalling. "What?"

Jake was thunderstruck and grinned wickedly. "Oh, come on…I wanna know what could make the hard core biologist blush like that…you're gonna tell me…"

"Not a chance, brother."

"Luke, tell me," Jake said, rubbing a little clan leader vibe onto it.

"Get bent."

"Oh yeah, you're gonna spill it…" and Jake grabbed Luke around the middle with a wicked grin and a snarl. Luke laughed and hissed as he grappled with his friend, trying equally to wrest him off his feet as they stumbled around the lab. Luke knew he was no match for the more massive Oloeyktan, not grappling like this. Not under any circumstances, really. Jake knew it too, but slipped on the linoleum floor and Luke managed to trip them both. Jake hauled Luke on top of him, still wary of his friend's right knee, and they landed with a loud crash on the floor, laughing and growling at each other.

Luke rolled off of Jake and sat on the floor gasping and laughing while Jake rolled onto his knees. Luke shoved him hard on the shoulder. "Skxawng," he laughed at his Oloeyktan.

Jake kept chuckling and got to his feet. Luke did the same, hopping lithely up onto his left leg, keeping his right held out tenderly. Jake noticed, but didn't mention it. He still felt the bitter fight between them. It would be a long time healing, yet. He sat down heavily in one of the lab chairs, his chuckles quieting. It sufficed well enough for his large frame and Luke followed suit.

Their gaiety subsiding, Jake gave in to his clansman, his brother. "Alright… probably the most awkward thing she asked me that I can remember…"

…

The two men shared their tales, laughing with each other over the absurd questions, quietly reflecting on the good times with Jenna. They carefully avoided any mention of their intimate moments with her; neither one wanted to know any more than they had already gleaned. But they spoke of her, at long last. They talked about Jenna and they recognized each other as brothers, again. Their scars would heal, and ultimately, so would their hearts. Eventually they fell silent for a long stretch, each lost in his own memories.

Luke broke the silence. "Hey Jake…"

"Yeah, brother," he replied.

"Did I ever say I was sorry for cracking your jaw?" Luke looked up at his friend. Jake glanced up, surprised by the query.

"No."

"…good."

Jake raised his eyebrows at Luke, while the man stared at him levelly for just another second before his lips broke into a grin. Jake slowly grinned in reply, shaking his head and starting to laugh. Luke laughed with him. The two friends, brothers, eventually packed up Luke's equipment and made their way home, Jake grumbling again about the pa'li, his jaw, and clan insubordination to the sound of Luke's continued laughter.

**... ...**

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_**Finis**_


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